


Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0: You Can (Not) Forget

by pioxenne



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Comedy, Depression, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Neon Genesis Evangelion References, Post-Evangelion 3.0: You Can (Not) Redo, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:20:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 60,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25790470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pioxenne/pseuds/pioxenne
Summary: After the fourth impact ended...Shinji and Kaworu are lost in the middle of what seems to be left of Tokyo-3. Earth and life has been restored with plants and wildlife, but Shinji soon realizes that there's a terrible atmosphere to this New World.Nu-Nerv has been destroyed and Wille still seems to be lurking above the clouds. After coming upon a small shelter they learn to adapt to their surroundings and face challenging threats involving alien-like creatures, foreign plants, climate change, and their upcoming foes Wille.An AU where Kaworu takes off Shinji's DSS choker and smashes it; The correct spears were taken from Lilith, and the Earth was gifted with new life forms.
Relationships: Akagi Ritsuko/Ibuki Maya, Akagi Ritsuko/Katsuragi Misato, Ayanami Rei/Ikari Shinji, Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu, Ikari Shinji/Shikinami Asuka Langley, Ikari Shinji/Souryuu Asuka Langley
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Wattpad under the same username and title name so it's easy to find. Images were shown in Wattpad for anyone who want to see them. Enjoy~ ;)

The fresh scent of water and overgrowth had tickled Shinji's nostrils, he woke up slowly, getting used to the atmosphere he was in. He pulled a large piece of scrap metal from over him and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

He was shocked to see what he has witnessed. The world had faced its fourth impact and once again it had completely changed, it's like it wasn't Earth anymore..how strange. 

The area Shinji had been resting in was a very jungle-like environment, the buildings that used to be there were either deteriorated or covered in trees and overgrowth, it was actually pretty gorgeous from Shinji's view but it made him more concerned. He scanned the area once more, this moment was feeling too surreal to him. 

" I'm so confused. Did I do this? No...", Shinji thought he took a breather near a tree." It looks like life has successfully restored itself". At least Shinji thought it was, the plants that had withered from the third impact were back and greener than ever." Wait! Have I been asleep for another 14 years!? Shinji thought, he reassured himself after. 

As Shinji took a few more footsteps, he started to wince in pain and he put his left hand over his right shoulder that had a deep gash in it, he was still bleeding as well, so this fourth impact...it might've just happened not too long ago. 

Shinji needed to find a medkit or something. If he didn't, he might die. He tried to get a better view of his surroundings but the curiosity of the forest he was in lured him deeper in it, so he decided to follow his guts.

Shinji looked up but it was difficult to see the sky, the trees and leaves were smothering it. 

A rumble from his stomach told him that he was hungry, he didn't know what to do. The environment around him didn't seem familiar at all so he couldn't tell what was edible and what wasn't.

While walking over thorn bushes carefully and making sure he didn't tangle in vines, Shinji was amazed at what he discovered. A hospital...well, what was left of it was in a ditch and wrapped in vines, there was luckily an entry for him, maybe there was medicine there. 

Shinji carefully slid his way down, he then noticed it wasn't normal dirt and mud and slid down on his back the rest of the way. He squirmed when he had moved his right shoulder the wrong way, more blood came willing out." I wonder if I'm leaving a trail", He thought.

Shinji crawled through a broken window to get inside, then he was cautious if he was going to stumble or step on something. He eventually made it inside and was shocked how cold it was, he was holding himself a bit and warm air had left his mouth every time he breathed." Maybe there are bandages somewhere. This is a hospital anyways", Shinji thought and he walked down a slanted hallway searching one room after another for bandages.

" I wonder if Kaworu is still alive", Shinji thought." When I had pulled the spears out, it caused the fourth impact...I had blacked out completely and then..when I checked to see if Kaworu was still in his capsule, he wasn't there..".

Shinji had luckily stumbled on an opened package of bandages. They were half used and it was a bit strange how they had been left behind. 

Shinji had picked them up and headed towards a sturdy room to rest in. He sat on the hospital bed and tried his best to get a firm grip on the bandage on his shoulder. The bandage would manage until he had to use another. 

His shoulder was feeling better after, so he got off the bed and decided to venture more through the hallways." This.. doesn't feel nice at all. What happened to Rei? And Asuka? Is everyone dead?" 

The feeling of being alone felt heavy in Shinji's chest like an anchor, he wanted to get rid of these feelings but it was hard. Maybe he was the only one who had survived the huge shockwave and everyone else had died. 

He found himself running through the hallways, almost tripping over the roots from plants, it didn't seem to matter for him. He couldn't live with the fact he had killed everyone, it wasn't fair." Hello! Is anyone here! He called, no, screamed out for anyone to answer." Hello! Hellooo!" 

Before he could say anything else, he heard heavy panting and faint slow footsteps, he moved closer to where the sounds were coming from. Before he could properly see the figure, it was dark in the room because it had collapsed but a bit of sunlight had shown through a crack, making the person's face more familiar when they had collided paths with it.

Shinji was more shocked than relieved to find out who it was. Without realizing, Shinji's eyes became watery and blurry, but no tears had come out." K-Kaworu?" 

Kaworu looked like he'd been seriously injured. His hair was raggedy, a darker color of gray then his silver hair was. His head was also leaking blood and it looked like he'd been wounded in the left leg since he was leaning on the building's wall for support and didn't dare set his left foot on the ground. Kaworu had also been holding a pistol in one of his hands, for a second, he didn't realize Shinji was there.

When Kaworu raised his head slightly and locked eyes with Shinji, he had a half-hearted smile and then he collapsed to the floor rather hard. Shinji had quickly run over to his side to make sure he was alright, Kaworu was still breathing, but his breathes were slow and shakey, he was close to dying.

Shinji lifted Kaworu's head carefully up and just looked at his face for a while. Soon enough, he had tried his best to lift Kaworu up and get him back to the hospital room he had been in. He put into Kaworu into the bed, at this point, Shinji was kinda panicking, his friend had passed out of nowhere and he didn't know what to do. 

†††

few hours had passed already...Kaworu had woken up. He didn't make it obvious though, he sat up and propped his pillow up to suit his comforts. Kaworu reached his hand up and rubbed his head, there was a bandage around it. His leg had felt a bit tight as well and he noticed there was a bandage on it as well. Shinji smiled a bit when he noticed he had woken." You're awake", Shinji said with a mild smile." Yes, indeed. I'm feeling better too", Kaworu nodded.

"You should still rest for a while". Shinji had been resting on a desk near the hospital bed Kaworu was laying in.

There was silence in the room before Kaworu had spoken again." It's a little bit odd, but I had a powerful feeling you would come searching for me", Kaworu tightened his hand in a fist and looked up at Shinji. He hadn't noticed Shinji had scooted his chair up to his bed.

" Well...we're friends. I couldn't just forget about you", Shinji responded. Kaworu smiled warmly, " Thank you, you're a good friend". 

Shinji looked at the ground sheepishly." About your injuries", Shinji said." Right", Kaworu sighed and his expression rather pensive." I'm not sure if you've noticed, but this isn't the Earth we know anymore. We're stuck in an apocalyptic world with deadly creatures Shinji". Kaworu paused and shuddered a bit." I was attacked by one of them." 

Shinji had never seen Kaworu so bothered by it. Although, he felt comfortable he wasn't the only one who was feeling these emotions as well." W-what do you mean them", Shinji asked with concern.

" I don't know. It was like a monster", Kaworu had closed his eyes for a moment to let his own words sink in, he couldn't even believe what he was saying either. Shinji took the hint he was being serious, he nodded, understanding. No wonder Kaworu had a gun with him, it was even scarier because it was loaded. 

" Um..what should we do? Kaworu..", Shinji asked. Shinji wasn't the best at trying to help, but he felt like he was needed by Kaworu. Kaworu could die if he went out there by himself, and Shinji needed someone to stop him from making the wrong decisions." We needed each other?" Shinji thought.

" Well then, we should find a secure and distant place from here. One with the resources we need. Does that sound good? Kaworu looked at Shinji." We can do it together"." Good", Shinji thought.

" Y-yeah! Let's do it! Shinji shouted enthusiastically. Kaworu put his hand on Shinji's shoulder." Shinji, you're the ember that represents the good in this world, let's get through this together", Kaworu said firm and sternly and gripped Shinji's shoulder.

Shinji then released Kaworu's grip and looked down at him." Hey, I just remembered something, I'll be right back", he said and he left the room. After several minutes, he returned with a small tub of hot water and a face towel. He placed the tub of water on the desk, dipped the towel in the tub of water, and wrung it out after.

Before placing the hot towel on Kaworu's head, he insisted Kaworu lay down, Kaworu then laid his head down and Shinji put the towel on this head." This should make your head feel better", Shinji said nervously. Kaworu secured eye contact with Shinji for a while before Shinji simply averted his eyes.

A couple of minutes had passed before Kaworu decided to get up, he took the towel off of him and cautiously put his feet down on the floor. His left foot was still sore but he managed to put pressure on it so he could walk accurately. 

Shinji had been resting peacefully on the desk with his head down, Kaworu tapped him for him to wake.

" Hey! what are you doing up!?" Shinji shouted worryingly." I'm fine Shinji, don't worry. Let's get going", Kaworu said. Kaworu did look like he was in a better state than before, so Shinji got out the chair and stretched. 

Shinji and Kaworu had made an exit towards outside and Shinji watched as Kaworu breathed in the fresh forest scent. Kaworu let out a satisfied exhale." Where should we proceed first? Kaworu looked back at Shinji.

" Are you sure you wanna ask me? You seem like the genius here", Shinji responded sharply.

" Well, my feelings are telling me you know the best way to progress".

Shinji shook his head and looked at his surroundings. Kaworu waited patiently for him to decide." Well", Shinji began. Shinji could hear the sounds of roaring, it sounded like water and they needed water to live." Let's head in between North and East, I can hear water", Shinji declared.

" Fantastic observation. Alright then". Just like that, Kaworu had led the way Shinji had pointed to until they couldn't go the same direction anymore, they ended up coming in contact with a few familiar animals but Kaworu commented they aren't the creatures he was talking about and Shinji doubts it a little. 

It looked like the sun was about to reach it's peak before it finally set and Shinji became a bit anxious.

" Um, Kaworu, how far are we gonna walk? Shinji asked. It wasn't the fact that it was also getting late, Shinji could tell Kaworu was in pain because there was still a limp in his walk and Kaworu must be tired. Kaworu stayed silent." Let's just take a break right quick".

" The water is getting louder, we're closer so what's the point of waiting? Kaworu said bluntly but that reassuring smile was still on his face. Shinji shook his head in annoyance. He wanted to be useful but it seemed like the opportunity was occupied. 

Soon enough, Kaworu was correct and before them both was a high and tall waterfall that led into a beautiful crystal clear pool. It was stunning, and the sunlight hit the water just right to make it twinkle. Kaworu noticed something else not too far from the waterfall though...a small house? No, it was an abandoned modern shelter, there was actually a door and windows too, but they were dirty.

" You really are something Shinji, look what you've discovered", Kaworu pointed towards the shelter. Shinji awed it for a while, before going inside along with Kaworu close behind." It looks like one of Nerv's", Shinji said wiping the dirt off of a Nerv sign.

" Indeed, I wonder what happened to the people who were originally here", Kaworu spoke, it only seemed like he was trying to spook Shinji.

" It doesn't matter anymore. Now we have a warm place to stay". The shelter seemed to have two bedrooms, one bedroom in the main room, and another in a separate room. There was a bathroom and a kitchen linking to the main room." I'm surprised the electricity seems to cooperate, despite the environment it's in", Kaworu spoke opening the refrigerator." It's settled. We'll remain here until the time comes".

" You mean when it's not safe anymore? Shinji asked uncertainly.

" Exactly". Then Kaworu reached in the refrigerator and pulled something out. It was an apple and he instantly tossed it to Shinji who flinched but caught it. 

The sun had actually set now, Kaworu had decided to go to sleep, he was already in the other room." That's good. He needed some rest, I was worried about him", Shinji thought." Hopefully, he'll be better in the morning". He munched his apple happily. 

It was really dark now, Shinji was eating a bento box, and sometimes he would heard unclear movements and noises outside. He wondered if it was possibly the creatures Kaworu stated were dangerous.

Shinji finished his food and changed out of his suit. He was already wearing underwear and socks so he went to sleep in that. It was actually so much to take in for Shinji. He woke up without any traces of memory of what happened, was close to losing Kaworu, and he had walked so far to get somewhere safe. 

Shinji fell asleep with that on his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Shinji slowly fluttered his eyes open. He had sorta forgotten what had happened yesterday, but the unfamiliar ceiling he lay under brought them back. 

He crawled out of bed slowly and got up stretching." Today is a new day", He thought and he searched around the room for his suit. When he had put it on, he checked to see if Kaworu was in his room, he wasn't and the door had been left open. He most likely went outside. 

Shinji was correct. Kaworu was outside drinking the water from the pool. Every few minutes he dipped his hands into the water and brought them up to his mouth to drink. Shinji watched from a distance. Kaworu then started to splash his face with the water. The sun had hit the water and his face the right way and it made it seem magical. Not to mention, Kaworu had a white flower in his hair. 

" Good morning", Shinji finally spoke. Kaworu turned his head to look at Shinji." Good morning Shinji", Kaworu got up prudently. He seemed okay, although Shinji was still concerned about his leg. 

" Is your leg getting any better?" Shinji asked, he didn't know how to start the day." Yes, I'm feeling great", Kaworu nodded. That was it, they didn't say anything to each other anymore and Kaworu had walked off to do his own thing. 

Shinji watched as Kaworu went to sit behind a boulder." Something is...off. Since when does Kaworu decide to be alone"? Shinji quietly clambered up the boulder and looked down at Kaworu who had been grunting and groaning in pain and shortly after he pulled the bandage loose. 

Shinji almost fainted at the sight of it. Kaworu's leg had gotten worse. His leg was bleeding a lot, maybe the tightness of the bandage had made it worse. Shinji covered his mouth so he wouldn't yell or scream, but the slight movement from his arm had made a rockfall on Kaworu's head and Kaworu looked up after.

" ... Kaworu...", Shinji said with a troubled look. Kaworu smiled a bit." Why are you smiling?" Shinji asked, he looked like he was about to cry. Shinji slid down the boulder next to Kaworu.

" Why won't you let me help you?" 

Kaworu was still smiling." I'm okay Shinji, seriously"." No, you're not! Stop lying to me! Shinji averted. At that moment, Shinji had grabbed Kaworu's shoulders tightly and looked into his eyes unsettlingly." I wanna help you... because you're my only friend...I have nothing left to lose", Shinji said quietly because he was already embarrassed." Please...don't lie to me anymore". 

" I understand Shinji", Kaworu said." I'm sorry ". Shinji let go of Kaworu and laid back on the boulder with him." There's a medkit in the shelter, I can heal you", Shinji's eyes shimmered a bit." Sure", Kaworu responded gently. 

Then it came to Shinji's head." Hey, Kaworu..? Why'd you leave me? You weren't in your capsule when I was looking for you".

" Actually, when I dragged you out your capsule, you were unconscious and wouldn't wake up...so I went to go explore...eventually I was going to come back for you once I observed the area ", Kaworu looked up at the sky. Kaworu smiled at Shinji, who looked away quite flustered.

" I'm glad I found you".

" Yes, there was a likely chance I would've died if you weren't there, next time I won't leave you. Thank you for reminding me how important you are to me". 

" No, thank you. You're an amazing guy Kaworu". There were a few minutes of silence." Hey, after you patch me up, let's go exploring", Kaworu offered.

" But you're leg".

" It's alright Shinji, really. I trust you. You'll make me feel better". 

That made Shinji anxious and a little forced. He wanted to help Kaworu but he was scared of hurting him more or making a mistake. But, Kaworu really trusted him, he had to assist Kaworu no matter what.

Soon after, Shinji had helped Kaworu up and took him to his room and assisted him like he said he would. Shinji had cleaned Kaworu's leg wound with a damp warm towel and some rubbing alcohol, during the problematic situation, Kaworu made small little hisses in pain. Once his wound was cleaned he wrapped Kaworu's wound back up with a clean bandage.

" Misato used to always care for me. I'm grateful I've been observing her to where I learned how to do this. If not, Kaworu would've died and it would've been my fault". 

Afterward, Kaworu told Shinji he was feeling better and they headed off into the wilderness. Although, it seemed like Shinji was following Kaworu rather than leading the way. Kaworu looked like he knew where he was going as well. How suspicious. 

It started to get darker, but something seemed different about tonight. The sun had set, but the sky stayed a darker blue color, not like an average night color." Hey Kaworu, it's getting dark.. shouldn't we head back?" Shinji asked, feeling uneasy.

Kaworu kept walking." We're almost there. Trust me, it's worth seeing". Kaworu and Shinji kept trekking through the overgrowth until the forest started to trail into a beach. Kaworu was positive about whatever he was going to show Shinji so Shinji went along with it. They walked along the shore together, for a while before they both entered a cove, on the other side of the water was a cavern. 

" Is this what you wanted to show me?" Shinji asked looking up at it. The cavern had soon illuminated a light blue color from inside it, it made Shinji more inquisitive. Kaworu had walked inside and Shinji continued close behind. Although, his curiosity had soon taken over him when he realized what was inside. The cavern was lit from a large body of water inside, it was a strange phenomenon because the water was glowing a light blue color.

Although the rocks of the cavern appeared pitch black, the large pool of water had stood out." Woah, Kaworu..this is amazing", Shinji awed the scenery.

" I thought you might like it here. I found it while you were sleeping yesterday". Shinji ran around the cavern in excitement." Hm, Kaworu had come here while his leg was injured and still managed to try and show me this..you really are an amazing guy." 

After getting tired from running, Shinji looked back at Kaworu who had focused his eyes on him already. Suddenly, the flower in Kaworu's hair started to glow white." K-Kaworu! Your flower... it's..glowing", Shinji stuttered. Kaworu looked at it and unfastened it from his hair, he walked over to the edge of the water and simply pushed the flower gently across the water. 

It was like what was happening was surreal. It was too good to be true. It was astonishing but frightening at the same time, Shinji wasn't sure he was gonna get used to this new world. Shinji had actually felt happy the fourth impact had happened, but he blurred the thought out afterward. 

Things were just getting better. Shinji had fallen to the ground in amazement when he realized what he was seeing." A butterfly...? But it's under the water! It's enormous!" There was a gigantic white butterfly underneath Shinji and Kaworu. Kaworu had kneeled down and put his hand on Shinji's shoulder. 

" Isn't it wonderful?" Kaworu said near Shinji's ear. Shinji almost jumped." Yeah..", Shinji smiled. The show wasn't over yet. The butterfly had emerged from the water and rose in the air. Since there was an opening in the cavern, the butterfly was heading there, but what was really astonishing is that smaller butterflies were emerging from the water as well. 

They happened to fly around the cavern mystically. Most of them seemed to be attracted to Shinji, some landed around Shinji or on his body." Keep still. You radiate powerful energy, they seem to like you Shinji", Kaworu said softly. Shinji kept motionless for as long as he could, he was more weirded out than amused now. 

The butterflies flew into the sky with the larger one after, and Shinji exhaled strongly." That...was... awesome", Shinji said between breaths." Yes. It was fun. Let's come again sometimes", Kaworu said. 

The two left afterward and Kaworu led the way back cautiously since it was pitch black now. The light from the moon seemed to light their path, they may not be so lucky next time. 

While they were heading back, Shinji couldn't help himself to think." If there are giant butterflies in this world now, I wonder what else is there to it..and if Kaworu was lying or not about what he experienced..monsters?"

" Had fun?" Kaworu asked walking into the shelter." Of course!" Shinji shouted following him. Kaworu chuckled softly. 

Afterward, they had dinner. Chicken and rice exactly. Kaworu had separated himself from Shinji and decided to take a quick shower and Shinji was already wrapped in his covers ready to slumber. He thought he was prepared for whatever was coming tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a chilly morning today. Shinji shifted in the covers uncomfortably, it was a little too cold today. He decided it would be best to wake up now, so he slowly rose from his sleeping position and turned around to see Kaworu sitting in a chair near him. Shinji nearly flinched." Uh... Kaworu", he said slowly." What..what are you doing?" 

" You were fidgeting in your sleep last night, so I came over to make sure you were okay", Kaworu explained." I rubbed your head sometimes. It must've worked"." Kaworu was supposed to be resting, not watching me sleep"." Um, thank you", Shinji laughed nervously.

" It's no problem. We're in this together Shinji". Kaworu sat up from the chair and pulled it into the kitchen table. He had made himself some cereal while Shinji searched around for his suit. He found it folded neatly near the edge of his bed and got dressed in the bathroom. 

He joined Kaworu for breakfast shortly after, fixing himself cereal. He gazed at Kaworu for a while who was looking out the window and took a bite of his cereal. He seemed in a good mood today. Shinji stirred his cereal in a circle, he wanted to talk to Kaworu but he didn't know the most enjoyable way to begin. 

Shinji appeared a bit upset by this. The only person that he was left with wasn't speaking or looking in his direction. Shinji doubted Kaworu had cared about him too quickly.

Just when it looked like Shinji's hopes were getting down, Kaworu glimpsed at Shinji and took the message he wanted to chat." What'd you dream about Shinji?" Kaworu asked with a delightful smile. He rested his head on his left hand. 

" Uh...I had a good dream", Shinji replied smiling back." I was playing the piano".

" No wonder you were moving in your sleep". Kaworu laughed. Shinji laughed a bit as well." It must've been great. I'm glad you slept well". 

" Well, I'll be outside if you need me". Shinji finished the leftovers of cereal and simply put it in the sink. Kaworu had finished afterward. 

" Alright. Well, it's time to be useful Shinji", Shinji thought stretching. He turned to see Kaworu was looking at him through the window. He gave Shinji a pleasant smile, and Shinji smiled back awkwardly. 

Everything so far was going great, although, Shinji didn't want to jinx it. Shinji tried thinking of what else he could do, but it looked like everything was coming together. That Shinji didn't exactly have to do anything. Kaworu and him had unlimited supplies in their new lifestyle. It made Shinji a bit discouraged. 

" Oh wait!" It finally popped into Shinji's head." It's strange how everything in the Nerv shelter appears to be working accurately, except the AC. I'll make a campfire then, and maybe a torch". The stove and microwave worked, but it's still not enough to keep Kaworu and himself warm. 

Kaworu had still been observing him from inside, Shinji didn't take any notice as he started collecting large sticks and fallen branches around the rainforest and setting them on the ground in a bunch. 

Shinji hadn't noticed Kaworu had snuck behind him." What are you doing Shinji?" Kaworu asked looking down at him.

" I'm gonna make a fire. You can join me tonight if you want".

" What if a tree ignites?" 

" Why are you even talking to me!?" Shinji didn't know how to respond and he looked rather ashamed." Well..just talk to me tonight, it'll be nice", Shinji finally replied.

" Of course", Kaworu slightly giggled and he walked past Shinji and went further into the mysterious wilderness.

" I hope he's careful. I mean, his leg appears to be getting better, he's walking normally". Shinji positioned himself in a more comfortable spot." Kaworu seems like a strong guy. He's capable of defending himself...I should try not to worry about him too much". Another idea had burst into Shinji's mind." I know. I'll make a spear too, then I could always protect Kaworu". 

Shinji searched around the ground for a sturdy stick for a spear. He wanted a stick that wasn't gonna break easily. There had been a knife in the kitchen, he could use it to carve the tip of the stick. 

When he found one, he was satisfied and chose to start right away. At that moment when he was finished, he had already taken several breaks the sun was also at his peak and he remembered Kaworu had gone out and still hasn't returned." What if something bad happened to him?" Shinji trembled a bit. 

He was soon relieved when Kaworu had emerged from some bushes and he had some items in his arms, it was a lot. They were small berries and plants, they smelled nice and they were different types as well. Shinji also noticed there was fruit as well. They were dark purple and they looked like blueberries except they were the size of an apple. 

" Why do you have those Kaworu?" Thinking asked pointing to them.

" They're herbs, I recognized most of them and decided to take them with me. If we get sick or hurt then the time will come when we can use them."

" Well it looked like it, but I meant these", Shinji had grabbed one of the fruits out of Kaworu's arms.

" I don't exactly know, but they taste fantastic. Try it".

Shinji was hesitant to bite into it. But Kaworu looked eager for him to try it. Shinji finally bit down and was surprised how good it had tasted." It's delicious!" Shinji said through a mouthful. 

Kaworu beamed. Then, he looked at the small campfire and spear Shinji made." You've been occupied while I was gone", he started.

" Uh! Yeah!" Shinji rubbed the back of his head shyly." I thought we might need the spear since I forgot the gun back at the hospital".

They were both silent for a while." Hey Kaworu, how come I haven't seen any of these...monsters you were talking about?" Shinji huffed a bit.

" Actually, thank you for reminding me of something, I'll tell you inside". 

When they were inside, Kaworu had set the plants and berries in a drawer while the fruit was set in the refrigerator. Afterward, Shinji had sat on his bed and Kaworu pulled a chair up to it and sat down.

" The reasons these creatures haven't made their way over here is because they can't..well..while I was scouting about...", Kaworu looked deep in thought, it was scary to see him so nervous." I don't know the best way to explain...". 

" Kaworu what's wrong?" Shinji asked distressingly." While I was out there, it had miraculously become so hot and I collapsed to the floor then the weather was normal again..", Kaworu gave Shinji a solemnly look." I almost died again, because of how harsh the climate was here in this forest". Shinji had almost caught on to what Kaworu was saying. 

" So basically, those monsters can't roam over here because of how miserable the climate is?" 

Kaworu nodded, although Shinji couldn't understand why Kaworu was so dispirited by it. It must've been that he almost died again." Is..is Kaworu afraid to die?" 

Shinji didn't notice that it had gotten darker, he instantly thought about his campfire and got up. Kaworu looked confused but he placed the chair back in its original place." Let's roast hotdogs", Shinji said to Kaworu nervously." Roast?" Kaworu repeated.

" Uh, yeah...do you know how?"

" I haven't done that before, it sounds pleasurable", Kaworu smiled and they both exited the shelter and sat outside comfortably near the unlit campfire. Shinji had brought a lighter since he was having issues inflaming it. 

Kaworu and Shinji had sat next to each other near the fire. They had thin sticks and each had weenies that were stuck on. Shinji put his close to the fire to cook, Kaworu copied. 

" I mostly did this for you Kaworu. I don't know why...but it sounds like something friends would do".

Kaworu gazed at him, the fire made Kaworu's eyes seem like embers." It's weird how we're put into this situation, but we still find a way to communicate with each other..Shinji", Kaworu said. He had a frown on his face. Shinji realized Kaworu had shifted closer towards him. 

His body instantly locked up, Kaworu's face wasn't this close to his before." Of course Kaworu. It's like we have a special bond. I've never had a close friend like this before", Shinji watched the fire flicker." Yeah...like we're soulmates", Kaworu's eyes shimmered. 

" Uh..my hotdog fell..", Kaworu sighed. Shinji watched as Kaworu's hotdog disappeared in the fire. He held back a laugh but it eventually burst out and Shinji found himself cackling on the ground. Kaworu watched in confusion but there was a smile on his face. 

Shinji pulled himself together and sat up correctly and locked eyes with Kaworu." Here you can have mine?" Shinji persisted handing Kaworu his stick and his hotdog was a bronze color.

" I'm not really that hungry anyway...I just wanted to talk to you more", Shinji whispered in the last part.

" Hm?"

" Oh! It's nothing!"

Kaworu started to eat the hotdog when it fully cooled off. Shinji sighed in exhaustion." I guess I shouldn't rush anything"." Kaworu...", Shinji frowned. 

Kaworu looked at Shinji, he was still chewing his food." Hm?" 

" You've said that I was a good friend but, do you really enjoy me?" Shinji had confessed. He couldn't live with the fact that he felt like a burden or... nothingness. 

" Indeed Shinji".

" But...tell me why you actually like somebody like me". 

" Well Shinji, when I met you my life became a daydream. I'm always thinking about you. You're interesting and different and I like that about you". 

" Thank you Kaworu. I liked that". Shinji blushed a little.

They were silent for a while. All that could be heard were the sounds of crickets and the owls, and then there was also the fire that was starting to extinguish itself. Shinji looked up at the stars. They were prettier at this time of night. Kaworu had gazed at them for a while, but surprisingly Shinji turned to Kaworu when he had yawned so suddenly. That was the first time he heard him do that. 

" Let's get some rest", Shinji said. Kaworu nodded, he did look kinda tired. They both got up. The fire was out now. When they were both inside Shinji sat on his bed. Kaworu had instantly gone to his room." I hope he actually gets some sleep". 

After that, Shinji took off his suit and went to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Shinji had been woken up my a pleasing smell. At first, he thought he was still dreaming, but when he saw the fumes of a hot plate of eggs and bacon, he had quickly come out of bed. 

He assumed Kaworu had made breakfast." Ah, it smells so good!" Shinji slightly turned a little to see Kaworu. He had a plate of food as well, and of course that sweet smile." Good morning", he said." Um, morning", Shinji replied. He hadn't noticed, but Kaworu wasn't wearing his original plugsuit, and rather a jet black one. 

Shinji was still in his boxers." Uh..your..", Shinji started.

" I found it. There's a ton more surprisingly". Kaworu started eating his food. 

" Ah, that's great. I've been getting tired of wearing the same attire for a while. It's making me sore", Shinji ate some of his eggs." Plus, that new suit looks comfortable". 

" Yeah. Although, it's rather tight in my lower area". 

"O-Oh!" Shinji almost spat out his food. He looked at Kaworu with bewildered eyes. 

Kaworu held back a laugh." I'm kidding". 

When they were finishing eating, Shinji got out of his seat about to pick up his plate." I'll handle it", Kaworu insisted grabbing the plate over the table then his. He headed over to the sink soon after." Oh! I almost forgot!" 

" Hey, Kaworu...", Shinji spoke." Thank you for the food. Really...it was delicious". 

" Anytime. I was curious to see how you would react to my cooking". 

" Of course"." Hey, I'm gonna explore for a while. I'll be back".

Kaworu had turned the sink on." Shinji", he said with a sturdy tone." Be alert of your surroundings...please". 

Shinji nodded. Kaworu didn't look as vigorous as before. But, Shinji didn't know what to do in this situation. He didn't know how big the creatures were, or the techniques they were able to pull during an attack. 

" Here", Kaworu handed Shinji the same suit he was wearing." It's the only one that looked like it'd fit you".

Shinji grabbed it carefully since it was folded up." I'll put it on now!" Shinji smiled. He changed into the suit and was satisfied with how comfortable it was. 

Shinji looked near his bed. Before he had actually decided to go to bed, he packed a backpack. Inside there were tea packets, matches, and a cup. He was going to be out for a while. Today is a beautiful day. 

He threw the backpack on him, said his warm goodbyes to Kaworu, and headed out the screen door. Afterward, he was wandering in the forest now. The air smelled better than ever, the crunching of twigs and shriveled leaves were satisfying for Shinji to hear." I hope Kaworu is okay. I'm still worried about his leg". He tried not to worry about him, but it was really hard. He's never been this far away from home before, and what if he encounters something harmful? 

After walking for about 30 minutes, Shinji heard a faint sound of buzzing. When there were bees, there was honey. He was feeling hungry after all.

He found a large stick and stuck into the trunk of the tree where the hive was. There was honey, it was a pretty golden amber color, it was stunning to look at as well. He spun the stick around the honey carefully and soon enough he had made a giant lollipop of honey. 

It was gone soon after and Shinji had a stomach ache. While he was still venturing, he found all sorts of plants he's never seen before, not even in books or magazines. There were giant mushrooms, to flowers, then glowing plants, he instantly thought they were dangerous.

He touched one silver flower he seemed to like a lot, the petals had quickly disappeared and the plant had shriveled into a small ball and it looked like it went..underground?" Oops, sorry". 

Shinji kept walking until he came back towards another beach. It didn't look like the one he saw with Kaworu. He walked along the shore with light exhales. This was really nice. He wished he had invited Kaworu, he would've liked this place..but then again, his leg. 

He stopped in his tracks instantly when..when he had seen it." What is that? A dog...no... it's huge". He fell to the ground, it didn't look like the creature noticed. He saw a pack of dogs, well what seemed like dogs. They were dog-like creatures. They had glossy fuzzy but sleek dark blue fur, they were rather larger than dogs as well. They also had larger darker antennas on their heads. There were smaller ones too, Shinji assumed they were puppies.

" Those must be the monsters Kaworu was attacked by. I wonder though...I guess I ventured too far on their territory. I hope they don't smell me". Shinji quickly left the area and retraced his steps and ended up walking South from the beach.

" Oh! How could I be so stupid!?" It had come to Shinji's head, he forgot how harsh the weather could get around here away from home. He should be alert like Kaworu said. 

He was getting a bit tired of exploring now. It was gonna be dark soon as well, but it was like, the forest was calling to him. He couldn't go back home yet. Couldn't show any sign of weakness he was scared." I.. mustn't run away? Yes, that sounds..no...feels right". Shinji went back to the beach. Although, he didn't go out onto the shore like last time.

The pack of dogs had vanished. Some of their paw prints were still there in the sand. When he got close enough, he put his hand down next to the track. It was the size of his hand." I'm sure they left. Maybe it'll be okay if I stay for a while". 

He got up, and he looked at the astonishing blue sea. It smells nice. He was surprised when he saw fish springing from the sea, they flew in the air, then back in the water, then up again. Shinji watched them dance in the air majestically until it was getting late. He wanted to experience much more, this forest was so beautiful. 

He headed back into the forest, then chose a nice spot to make a campfire and some tea. It was dark now. He shivered a bit when the air had become colder. He shifted closer to the fire." I should've headed back long ago. Kaworu's probably worried about me...or not". 

Shinji exhaled strongly." But wouldn't he come looking for me by now? Wouldn't I hear him calling for me to come home? Unless...he doesn't care about me. It was just a trick all along, like I'd expected.. because it always happens, first Father, Misato...Rei, and now Kaworu... Kaworu... Kaworu... Kaworu, the one I-". 

His train of thought was broken after he heard a rustle of leaves. He instantly thought it just the scattering of small creatures, since this forest seemed to have a variety of wildlife, but he had a bad feeling. 

He got up slowly and quietly, the rustles became louder and a bit faster. Shinji tensed. He couldn't feel like he could move his body, it's been forever since he felt this kinda feeling in his body. Fear? Terror? Fright? Yes...

When he had found his stick, he lit it from the campfire and shown the light over the bushes. He jumped when he realized it was the dogs he saw at the shorelines. He looked around him, it seemed like there were 6 of them. They edged closer and started to circle Shinji slowly, teeth bared, mouths foaming. 

One of the snarled furiously at Shinji, he flinched, almost dropping the torch. He swayed the torch around at them, they showed no sign of fear and edged even closer. Shinji could feel his heartbeat out his chest every time." What have I gotten myself into?" 

" Kaworu! Shinji screamed his name." Kaworu!" He called as loud as he could." Please...Kaworu...help me", He cried silently. One of the dogs lunged at him, Shinji tripped backward. The dog was hovering over him now, it was trying it's hardest to bite Shinji's face. But Shinji held the torch between his jaws firmly, he tried his hardest to push the dog off, but it was so huge and heavy. His arms and hands were slipping. 

Suddenly, there was a loud yelp and the dog had fallen off of him. He exhaled hardly and he was so relieved and surprised to see it was him." Kaworu! Shinji shouted. 

Kaworu was holding the spear Shinji had made. He had impaled the dog, it wasn't moving anymore. One of the dogs had lunged at Kaworu, he simply kicked it hard, he saw the blood leave the dog's mouth." Kaworu...". Kaworu looked like he was panicking now, the circle had gotten smaller.

" Shinji!" Kaworu looked at me with eyes filled with horror." The fire! Make a fire!" He yelled. Shinji kicked the bundle of lit sticks and they caused the plants and a tree to ignite instantly, at that moment Kaworu had grabbed him so hard he coughed. 

" He picked me up!? He's so strong!" He could feel the wind brush his hair. He could hear the heavy breathing of Kaworu. He was running fast, Shinji was surprised he had even made it this far to reach him. How'd he know where he was? Was it because of how loud he screamed? He noticed he had screamed like a little girl. 

They had quickly made it home, Kaworu set Shinji down, opened the screen door, pulled him inside, turned off the lights, and they both sat on Shinji's bed." What's wrong with you?" Was what Shinji had expected to hear, but Kaworu's words had proved him wrong." I'm sorry", he hugged Shinji tightly, he was buried in Shinji's chest, shaking harshly. But not crying." No Kaworu. It's not your fault....", Shinji felt a bit awkward, he wanted to wrap his arms around Kaworu as well, but it felt so weird. 

" I just.. didn't want you to think I'm weak..or pathetic", Shinji gritted his teeth." I want...to take care of myself".

" But, didn't I say we were in this together?" Kaworu looked Shinji straight in the eye, his crimson eyes were full of seriousness." If you call, I will come, it is simple as that".

Kaworu had reached his hand for Shinji's cheek. Shinji pulled away instantly." Why are you being so nice to me!? Shinji shouted confused." Because I truly care about you Shinji. We've been through so much...and you saved me. It means a lot to me", Kaworu sighed. Shinji wasn't looking at him and Kaworu frowned." Please understand. I need more time to figure out what I'm deeply feeling. I don't like the atmosphere right now...".

Shinji didn't say anything." I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled...I was just confused...I don't want to be hurt anymore".

" I know...I'll try to provide you the support you deserve". Kaworu slid his fingers slowly between Shinji's who leaned closer to him. Kaworu sighed slightly with relief." You're not afraid of dying Kaworu... you're afraid of losing me..."." What is this?" Kaworu whispered.

" Huh?" Shinji looked up at Kaworu." I'm feeling...an intense...deep affection for you Shinji..."." Why me? You're not supposed to care about me like this? I'm supposed to be..a man. But, it's so hard. I don't deserve to be your friend". 

" What are you thinking?" Kaworu turned to Shinji, his whole body was facing him.

" It's...complicated..".

" Indeed. It's probably as complicated for someone like me. I don't understand you completely, or your actions. I don't like that...".

" But, we still find a way to connect..and communicate with each other. Isn't that...sorta special?" 

" You think our relationship is special?" Kaworu eyes flashed a bright red.

" I've never talked to someone like this before, so I guess it's important to me in some way because it makes me feel good".

Kaworu quietly giggled." You're powerful". 

" What!? Shinji gasped." I mean...I am?" 

" Yes. Not physically...but mentally. Your words are strong and meaningful, you can make someone feel a way about you in more ways then one, that is the true meaning of being powerful. You have a strong effect on people's thoughts and feelings". 

Shinji blushed. He didn't know what to say.

" Shinji? Kaworu asked with a gentle tone." Y-yes? He stuttered, he was nervous.

" Will you be my soulmate?" Kaworu wouldn't stop looking at Shinji unless he gave him an answer.

" What do you mean...soulmate?" Shinji asked him, he was confused.

" I'm saying, do you want to be my impassioned partner Shinji?" Kaworu had moved closer to Shinji.

" Wait a minute! Kaworu! What are you saying!? Shinji shouted defensively.

Kaworu got up and stretched, the suit made him shimmer in the moonlight, his well-muscled body was slightly visible. Shinji wanted to have a body like that." Nevermind that Shinji. Get some rest", he lightly chuckled and walked back to his room. Although, Shinji hesitated on telling him something." I wanted to keep talking to you...".


	5. Chapter 5

" I'm so tired...". Shinji slowly pulled the covers from over his head. He was surprised not to see Kaworu in the kitchen yet. He got up, he was still wearing his suit. It was cozy inside, it worked well to sleep in. 

He got up slowly and stretched, afterward he peeked outside the window. Kaworu wasn't outside, he also noticed the sun had hardly come up yet." I must've woke up early". When he slightly opened the door of Kaworu's room, he had quickly turned his head to look at Shinji." Yes?" He asked.

" What are you doing?" He came over and sat next to Kaworu.

" Nothing actually. I just woke up". He looked like he had something on his mind. Kaworu had suddenly flopped back on his head." I'm just exhausted since last night", he revealed." My leg was feeling better, but it's throbbing now".

Shinji looked at the ground." I'm sorry, all I ever do is cause you trouble. I make terrible decisions".

" Last night is in the past now, let's just be concerned about surviving". Kaworu responded bluntly.

" But...there's no way we can both survive if I keep making faulty choices Kaworu!" Shinji shouted.

" Then follow your instincts...", Kaworu said quietly.

" What if my instincts are wrong?" They both looked at each other. 

" If you feel like you want to tell me something, then go ahead. I adore talking to you Shinji".

" Hey!" " Don't try to change the subject!" Shinji grabbed Kaworu's pillow and slammed it on him gently." I'm just perceptive is all. You always appear like you want to discuss with me about certain topics", Kaworu said taking the pillow off of him." So...why don't you?" 

" Isn't it obvious...?" 

Kaworu shook his head.

" Well..it's weird when two boys behave like they're... attracted to each other".

" But I am attracted to you".

" Knowing you Kaworu, you might not be attracted to me in that way...".

" Why is it weird?" Kaworu asked.

" Um...some humans don't like it when two guys are intimate with each other". Shinji was embarrassed and looked at the ground. 

" I believe love is love, and a person should be able to show affection for the ones they care about". 

" Ah. I understand now. I think the same way....but". Shinji sighed. 

" What's the matter? Are you interested in boys?" Kaworu teased.

Shinji's face turned red." What!? S-shut up!" Shinji shoved Kaworu slightly.

" I knew it", Kaworu scoffed playfully.

Shinji hit him with the pillow again." I don't like boys!" He exclaimed standing up on Kaworu's bed. He kept saying those words over and over again, Kaworu couldn't stop laughing. His foot had unexpectedly slipped off Kaworu's bed and he fell on Kaworu, who had fallen on the floor after. They both tumbled down hard.

Shinji opened his eyes to see they were locked with Kaworu. He had fallen on top of him, they both breathed hard. Shinji's face looked like a tomato. Kaworu was calm but fascinated as well. 

Shinji couldn't move his body at all. It was like he was paralyzed, he didn't know what to do to make the situation less awkward. Kaworu was amused by Shinji's diffidence. He leaned closer into Shinji's face. Shinji felt himself tighten. 

Kaworu had leaned close enough to where they could feel each other's breathes. Although Shinji's was hard from how fast his heartbeat was moving, Kaworu's breathe felt warm in a delightful way. 

Kaworu leaned even closer. He pressed his lips slightly on Shinji's cheek who still couldn't find himself to jolt his head away. This feeling had come to him so naturally, he couldn't drift away. It was rather just a slow peck, the kiss was short and small. 

Shinji's eyes were puzzled but shiny. Kaworu's kiss hadn't lasted long, he set his head back down on the floor. It was silence, a good silence. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

" You can get off me now", Kaworu blurted out. Shinji hadn't noticed he had rested himself on Kaworu. He felt relaxed, but the situation they were in was getting silly, he got off of Kaworu instantly. Kaworu got up as well. 

" Why'd you do that Kaworu?" Shinji whispered, his breathing still wasn't leveled enough." I wanted to know how it felt", Kaworu replied, he put his pillow back on his bed. 

" But...guys aren't supposed to do that to other guys".

" You didn't give me a good reason why they shouldn't". 

Shinji sighed unsteady." I'm gonna get some air". He left Kaworu's room and went outside. It was misty outside, and the blue sky that used to be there was now white because of the clouds.

Although it was cold, Shinji sat next to the clear pool of water and looked at his reflection." Although I liked it, don't kiss me again..". Shinji shuffled his feet uncomfortably." I like you...but you don't even understand what like means". Shinji splashed the water angrily. 

He couldn't get over the fact he'd just done that and he was only supporting Kaworu to do it again by not exposing him. This is all apart of being strong, is what he believed." You said follow my instincts...I want to be strong...so I'm gonna be strong". 

†††

The clouds had cleared up and patches of blue were showing. The sun also showed beautifully on the pool of water, making it shimmer. Shinji smiled, although he always let his emotions get the best of him, he regretted being angry at Kaworu. 

" It's not your fault. You didn't know and I reacted horribly". He sighed and threw a rock in the water." My instincts say that Kaworu is watching me again". Shinji did turn around, those red eyes of Kaworu's were exactly laid on him. 

When they met eyes, Kaworu got out of his seat and walked outside. Kaworu was standing over Shinji now." Excuse my behavior. I know I made you feel uncomfortable", Kaworu said in a simple tone. When Shinji looked up, Kaworu was frowning.

" I couldn't help myself...it's only an honest reaction". 

" Couldn't help yourself? I wonder how many of your emotions you've been holding back from me". 

" I've never touched lips to someone's skin before, it felt soothing...it was even more enjoyable because I experienced it with you."

" I don't want to talk about it anymore", Shinji admitted. Kaworu had nodded and he sat down beside Shinji.

" Sometimes humans aren't aware of most things...are you aware of your feelings Shinji?" 

" Stop talking to me...why do you keep talking to me? It's obvious I don't want to talk to you right now, you've made me feel a certain way I shouldn't, and now I can't get you out of my head...so just go away, I need to be alone", Shinji whispered. He hadn't noticed he said it out loud, Kaworu looked at him with no expression and got up and left. Shinji bit his lip to say anything else. 

" Did I mean that? I don't know...I'm not aware of my feelings. I'm feeling confused, upset, sorrow, and anxious all in one. This is making me irritated. I want to be strong but I'm not even strong enough to handle my sensations and I keep pushing away the person I care about the most distantly". 

" I wonder what Kaworu thinks of me now. He probably understands he's the only one that seems to understand me the most....is he staring at me again?" 

Shinji turned around..Kaworu wasn't looking out the window at all.

†††

A few hours had passed. The clouds have clearly disappeared. Shinji was tired of sitting." I'm so selfish, I want to talk to Kaworu now...or at least see him again". 

Out of the blue, Kaworu had walked outside, with a bow in one hand. He had a strap on quiver on his back. He was in a good mood again, he walked up to Shinji." You're always chattering about how you want to be strong. Archery is a strength. It helps you strengthen muscles physically and mentally. I'll teach you...if you still want to talk to me..", Kaworu said quietly. Shinji smiled." You always know the right thing to say". 

" I don't think I'm good at it", Shinji laughed slightly. He was following Kaworu through the forest. In the area Kaworu was taking him, the grass and plants were so gorgeous. They were a nice green color.

" Well, have you ever tried archery?" Kaworu asked.

" No...", Shinji mumbled.

They soon had arrived at their destination. There were huge trees filled with vines and some were growing the blue fruit Shinji had liked so much. Small patches of sunlight shown through the leaves, it was stunning. Kaworu took out in arrow and he had lined his body perfectly up with the target he was going to shoot. It was fruit. In a blink of an eye, he had shot it and the fruit had gone flying along with the arrow, it disappeared in a bush. 

Kaworu turned to Shinji." Now it's your turn", he said brightly. Shinji smiled admiringly." B-but I don't know how!" Shinji squeaked.

" Of course not, because I'm going to instruct you", Kaworu placed his body close to Shinji's. Kaworu's stomach was facing his back. Shinji's hand started shaking, he was so aflutter now." Just line your body up with what you desire to shoot at and release", Kaworu said directly into Shinji's ear. Shinji shivered excitingly.

Kaworu grabbed Shinji's waist and lined it up with the fruit Shinji was going to shoot at. He was focused now, he followed the orders that Kaworu had gave him -- who was still close to him, and was surprised he had shot the fruit. 

" Woah? I really did that?" Shinji looked at Kaworu. Kaworu was smiling at him affectionately." Did I do it right?" Shinji asked.

" Uhuh", Kaworu's voice was so comforting. Shinji blushed.

" Maybe I can do it on my own now". 

" Go ahead". Kaworu had climbed up a tree then rested there. He was just admiring the plants and insects around him.

†††

Before doing anything else, Shinji had practiced shooting the arrows, one after several. He had to keep on retrieving them so the stock wouldn't become short. There were only 39 arrows at least. Shinji turned around. Kaworu wasn't in his sleeping spot anymore. He was actually high up in some vines eating fruit. He looked like he was enjoying himself. " I want to be up there with you...". 

Kaworu had eventually swung down from a vine, although, he didn't touch the floor and raised a hand out for Shinji to take. Shinji was uncertain.

" What if I fall?" Shinji asked hovering his hand over Kaworu's.

" Then I will catch you...always". Kaworu's eyes glinted a bright red.

" Promise?"

"Promise".

Shinji grinned and grabbed Kaworu's hand. He had eventually grabbed his own vine, he was holding on tightly. He observed Kaworu had swung to another vine-like it was nothing." You're so cool Kaworu..".

" Come on Shinji. You can do it", Kaworu said, he was holding onto the vine steadily.

" Um...I don't know", Shinji wasn't exactly sure if Kaworu would catch him if he fell.

" It's alright Shinji. I'll catch you, I promised after all". Kaworu smiled.

" It's simple Shinji...all you have to do is swing to the other vine". Shinji swayed forward then backward, when he had enough momentum he released his hand and reached for the vine. Luckily, he grabbed it and held on tightly. 

" See", he heard Kaworu giggle. Kaworu had swung himself hard into the air and grabbed a higher vine." I bet you can't do that". He teased.

Shinji grunted." I so can!" Shinji shouted playfully.

" Then demonstrate it to me"." I will!" Shinji rocked himself strongly and heaved himself upward." S-see...", He groaned. He was hanging on eagerly at the tip of a vine. He pulled himself up more. He was higher then Kaworu now. 

Kaworu's eyes were widened with interest." Wow", he spoke. Shinji raised his chin triumphantly.

" But...", Kaworu spoke. Kaworu had swung himself farther to another vine, he repeated this. Swinging from vine to vine. Shinji had never been so impressed. He mimicked Kaworu's movements, soon enough, they were soaring through the air. Shinji had never had so much fun.

Although he hadn't noticed he missed one vine, he couldn't reach it in time and horror had struck him quickly. His heart skipped a beat when Kaworu had sharply grabbed Shinji's hand and he flew through the air along with Kaworu. Kaworu smiled at him. " Thank you. You're reassuring smile always helps". Shinji smiled back.

They had spent the rest of the day swinging from vines and relaxing underneath the trees. The sun had set, but the sky was a nice dark lavender and orange color. Kaworu and Shinji laid underneath the stars now." I'm sorry...", Shinji said quietly.

" It's fine, you were only expressing your emotions", Kaworu sighed.

" But...didn't it hurt your feelings?" Shinji turned to him. They were laying on the grass after all.

" Not at all. You needed space from me. Isn't that a logical feeling?" 

"Kaworu... I've told you this so many times, but you're amazing and a good friend...and I will be your soulmate until I die, I'll always be there for you...because you've been there for me". 

Kaworu faced Shinji." You're a precious soul Shinji. I will always keep you safe from harm's twisted path. Just remember and never forget that I feel the warmth around you ". 

Shinji averted his eyes. Kaworu rolled to his side, closer to Shinji." I meant that Shinji. You shouldn't feel disgusted by your sentiments. It's just a sign that you're growing". 

" Yeah... you're right", Shinji shifted nervously, but with a bit of excitement. He looked at Kaworu, who was still looking up at the starry dark sky. The creatures made soothing noises around them. It was another peaceful night. He sighed heavily." K-Kaworu....", Shinji said quietly. 

" Yes". 

" I think... I like you. At least, that's what I'm feeling right now". 

Shinji glanced at Kaworu. He was startled to see, those scarlet eyes were fixed on him. Kaworu smiled softly." I like you too". Shinji moved his body nervously.

" I feel a strange warm sensation coming. Only you can give me this feeling. This must be a special intensity ". 

Shinji could barely speak. There wasn't much to talk about anymore." I hadn't entirely confessed how I've been feeling. At least you understood Kaworu. You are incredible". 

" Hey, Kaworu?" The stars reflected on Shinji's glassy eyes. Kaworu turned his head to him slowly. 

" Yes?"

" You think everything happens for a reason?" Shinji exhaled. 

" Yes. At least, that's what I believe", Kaworu started to smile." Everything that is alive...or exists has a purpose to be here. Sometimes, you can't figure out your purpose yet..but just remember it'll come soon enough". Kaworu moved around a little. 

" Do you know my purpose?" Shinji's voice was small out of embarrassment.

" But you have tons of motives why you're still alive. One of them was to make me feel like I had a purpose". Kaworu giggled softly. Shinji avoided eye contact with him, he was anxious now." I believe our purposes were to make us both feel important. I'm important because I make you happy, and you're important because you make me feel alive".

" Wow...I don't know what to say". 

" I could continue on for ages, but it would probably be a waste of time. Everyone has infinite purposes to be on this Earth". 

" Hey um.. I'm getting tired. Can we go home?" 

" Of course Shinji".


	6. Chapter 6

That night, Shinji and Kaworu had gone back home safely. 

It was the 6th day since they've woke up in the new world. Shinji hopped out of bed energetically, usually, he'd be worn out. He spent most of the yesterday swinging from vines and eating fruit. Shinji sorta had a stomach ache. 

Then again, his suit was folded up at the edge of his bed. The urge to use the bathroom had stopped him from getting his suit. He walked to the bathroom, as soon as he reached for the door handle it turned. Shinji tensed and braced for impact. 

Shinji was met in the eyes with Kaworu, who had supposedly just got out the shower. Shinji's face turned a bright red, he shouted awkwardly." Ah! Kaworu!" He turned the other way.

" Excuse me", he said politely and walked past Shinji into his room. He was still rubbing his hair with the towel." Oh yeah sure!" Shinji squeaked. Kaworu had already closed his door. Shinji exhaled roughly." Ugh... I'm glad I didn't look down". 

After a while, he waited for Kaworu to finish getting dressed. He didn't come out, it'd been 20 minutes. Shinji got up and headed outside. It was pretty as ever outside. He sat near the pool of water once again. It was amazing how Kaworu and himself had ended up in this sorta situation... together. 

He found Kaworu in the same area... he'd saved Kaworu's life." I wonder what would've happened if I didn't find Kaworu...". Shinji stuck his finger into the watery out of curiosity. He was surprised the water was warm." I would've lived the rest of my life without him...or at least, I might've would've died long after I didn't find him". 

A leaf had fallen into the water near him, he pushed it further in the center of the pool out of boredom. He heard the footsteps of Kaworu approaching." Good morning", Shinji said softly." Morning", Kaworu said shortly, although he wasn't heading in Shinji's direction. 

" Huh? Where is he going?" Kaworu had made his way up the cliff of the hill that was supporting the waterfall. It didn't look like he was struggling to climb it either, which was impressive. When he made it to the top, he was almost standing over the edge and looked down. Shinji waved to him. Kaworu waved back warmly. 

Afterward, Kaworu jumped off and did a swan dive into the pool of water. The water barely splashed, how magnificent. He emerged from the water soon after, taking in a breath of air and swimming to Shinji. He crawled out the water, onto the shore and sat next to Shinji dripping wet. Although, there was a charming smile across his face. Shinji let out a laugh then covered his mouth in shock.

" What's wrong?" Kaworu laughed.

" Oh, it's nothing. It's just been a while since I've laughed...I got kinda spooked". 

" Hm. Nothing exciting or amusing happened in your life?" Kaworu asked, his silver hair glowed in the sunlight.

" Happened?" Shinji sounded offended.

" Well I was talking about your life-", Shinji interrupted Kaworu. 

" Not necessarily Kaworu. It was fun with my old friends, but I've never enjoyed being in the wild like this". 

" Is it because I'm with you?" 

" Actually it is. I probably would've stayed and rotted underneath the metal if I didn't have the motivation to find you".

Shinji looked a bit sad." I miss my friends...". 

" Yeah. It's upsetting when people who gave you the best memories, become a memory", Kaworu cooed. 

" How could you say something so blunt?" " Do you think they're actually dead?" Shinji frowned.

" Most of humanity might be in the afterlife, but you never know. I mean... I'm sitting here with you..there might be a 40% chance there are other survivors". 

" Do you think humanity will rebuild itself?" 

" If it decides to. More of us might die here. There's a great number of resources here for humans, but it's life-threatening. It's threatening because the world changed so rapidly, we haven't had enough time to adapt or evolve to its changes. You've witnessed those odd creatures and plants already, it's not hard to tell what comes in the future". 

" I guess I understand now". The only noises that filled the emptiness of the forest were the birds singing, the water crashing down the fall, and the wind brushing leaves away.

" Hey, can you swim?" Kaworu asked.

" I don't really swim", Shinji admitted picking a flower out the ground.

" No worries", Kaworu said calmly." I guess you can't do this challenge". 

" What a sec. What's the challenge?" Shinji asked uneasily.

" Oh no. It's not like you'll do it if I explain it to you", Kaworu taunted playfully. Shinji shuffled his feet anxiously." Fine, I'll do it... but I'm not keeping promises. What is it?" He huffed. 

" It's not complicated. Just jump from the fall".

" But that's s-".

" I'm not finished talking. The objective is to make the quietest and smallest splash when you collide with the water".

" Like how you did before?" 

Kaworu nodded his head.

" What do I get out of this?" Shinji said enthusiastically. 

" Nothing. It's just for entertainment". 

Shinji looked a bit disappointed." You're gonna rescue me if I drown right?" 

" I think it's conventional to save someone if they're drowning". Kaworu nodded his head. He looked very relaxed. 

Shinji got up and headed over to the path to climb up the hill. It was kinda hard, his fingers couldn't get a good grip of the slashes in the stones. He soon noticed Kaworu was following him, he passed him up and helped him climb the rest of the way." Aren't you gonna watch from below?" Shinji asked. 

" Eh, I rather get an excellent view from here", Kaworu shrugged. Shinji looked past the hill he was on now. There was a river flowing into a few sections then it formed the falls. It was nice and all, but he was nervous about jumping. Kaworu seemed alright with it though. 

" Take your time", Kaworu said kindly. Shinji hummed and nodded his head in agreement. He looked down the falls once more, taking another step forward, then another one. Panic shot through him when he felt Kaworu's hand on his back and lightly pushed him. 

Shinji's body stiffened, but he soon relaxed when Kaworu had jumped down with him. Kaworu was holding Shinji in his arms closely." You are scared, so I'll jump with you", Kaworu whispered into his ears before they both crashed into the water roughly. 

They rose out of the water afterward, both of them gasping for air." I didn't think...you'd jump with me... Kaworu", Shinji said in between breaths." You were shaking. Things are scary when you do it alone, but when you have someone by your side..it all seems like a dream", Kaworu said." I realize that now. You didn't seem frightened when I held you. It's like when a baby is crying and a mother approaches it to soothe it". 

" So I'm the baby?" Shinji asked with irritation. Kaworu laughed." You probably are. You seem tenser then me since we've been here, but that's not what I meant". 

" What did you mean Kaworu?" Shinji blew bubbles in the water.

" I meant I'm always the one to calm you down when situations get rough", Kaworu swam to the shore. Shinji was impressed he was still above the water, he swam to shore as well. They sat close to each other again.

" I guess so. I haven't been friends with someone like this before. All of this affection you're giving me, it's so new and I like it..then I've started to realize one of our purposes were to be together". 

" Yes, Shinji. That's very true. Two souls don't find each other by mistake or accident. Us being together is probably the best thing we could both wish for...a a friend".

Shinji was satisfied and happy to hear those words come out of Kaworu's mouth." It's more like a special friend", Shinji blushed. Kaworu's cheek slightly turned bright pink." It's like other people want me to be perfect when they don't even know that I'm hurting. I want..to be perfect enough..."

" Your life isn't yours if you care what others think about you", Kaworu said sternly." You don't know how lovely you are, to me you are perfect". 

" You're just saying that". 

" I'm saying it and I mean it truly."

" Alright, thank you so much". They were silent again. It seemed Kaworu had always found a way to start a conversation. Even when things were complicated between each other." My leg's feeling great. I think it's fully healed", Kaworu moved his left leg.

" Yeah, you've been moving around a lot. I figured you weren't hurting anymore", Shinji eventually said." I'm tired, I'm gonna eat then go to sleep". Shinji got up and went inside, Kaworu had followed as well." Is something the matter Shinji?" Kaworu asked.

" It's just, I feel really tired all of sudden...never of you...and I'm also hurting", Shinji confessed.

" Is there any way I can help?" Kaworu asked. 

" Ah, no", Shinji went into the refrigerator." This is a sorta good hurt, I just need to sleep for a while". He took a container of sliced fruit out and started eating it in his bed. Kaworu had been sitting at the table with his head rested over his arms. He stared at Shinji wonderfully. Shinji noticed but kept eating.

" Why are you staring at me?" He finally spoke, it was louder than he expected, since the room was quiet. The sun had also set as well. The lamp was turned on and the room was a little dark now. 

" Your eyes are the bluest of oceans and I've drowned in them more than you'd think", Kaworu whispered. It was almost unclear for Shinji to listen. Shinji almost spat out his food." Don't say such silly things!" Shinji shouted embarrassed. 

" I'm only being sincere", Kaworu giggled sweetly. Shinji laughed as well.

" It's just that you always say bizarre things. I like it but it freaks me out too", Shinji put a piece of pineapple in his mouth. 

Kaworu got up and sat next to Shinji on his bed." What?" Shinji looked the other way shyly.

" I just have a feeling, through it all, we will remain", Kaworu whispered." We will find a way through this dark. When you're lost, I'll find a way. I'll be your light". Kaworu moved his hand over to Shinji's. They intertwined fingers, Shinji inhaled shakily." It's alright. Don't be afraid of what your soul is truly thinking", Kaworu whispered softly." But I don't know what my soul is truly thinking...things are moving so fast". 

Shinji could no longer make himself eat. There were only a few remaining slices of fruit left anyway." I don't understand, why is this feeling still here? Can anyone tell me? Now, I need you more than you think..please stay...I never wanna stop making memories with you". 

They're fingers unraveled when Shinji got up to put his food away. He then turned off the light and sat next to Kaworu again. Shinji and Kaworu looked at each other...they connected eyes." You want to tell me something?" Kaworu asked tilting his head slightly. That marvelous smile wouldn't leave his face, his eyes started to shimmer in curiosity.

" Uhh...I don't know. I guess I've been thinking...there are feelings that can't be explained right?" Shinji asked. 

" Indeed. There isn't a word for everything. You'll figure out your feelings soon enough".

" How do you know?" Shinji spoke with doubt. 

" It's a surprise".

Shinji groaned and rolled his eyes." I guess I liked you more than I planned", he admitted. 

" Before, it wasn't hard to tell. Sometimes you flush when I say certain things or do actions that satisfy you", Kaworu leaned a bit closer. Shinji stiffened his body nervously." Sometimes I wish you'd stop running away from your problems and run to me instead". 

" Yeah", Shinji nodded." I think you'd make me feel better. You always know the right things to say. It's like you know my thoughts".

" Yes, I'm very perceptive!" Kaworu beamed. It was the first time Shinji heard Kaworu raise his voice. They sighed together in harmony remembering the good times they spent together." It's a strange world isn't it?" Kaworu's huffed roughly. He looked at the moonlight that showed through the window. 

" Yeah, the reality is a nightmare", Shinji looked at his feet. He shuffled nervously.

" Prove them wrong", Kaworu blurted out.

" What?" Shinji turned to him, they were sitting criss-cross on Shinji's bed now.

" Prove the people who thought low of you that you're stronger than them", Kaworu's eyes flashed a bright red it almost scared Shinji. 

" Kaworu....", He whispered in awe.

" Broken hearts and tears turn you into a stronger being and your mistakes do not define you. Stop trying so hard for people who don't care", Kaworu said bluntly, but this was only a small pep talk for Shinji. Shinji understood." Leave ' being weak ' alone. It's a good lesson to learn in life. Let go". 

Shinji sighed softly." Okay then Kaworu", Shinji nodded. It started to get cold inside the room. Shinji shivered." Do you want me to sleep with you?" Kaworu asked. Shinji's face turned red." Why!? Shinji shouted.

" I'm assuming you're cold".

" Yeah... it's just that-".

" I'm messing with you, just get some rest okay?" Kaworu ruffled Shinji's hair before he went into his room and closed the door. Although, the lights turned on afterward. Shinji emitted a long deep exhale with tiredness. He laid down, but he didn't feel like he could go to sleep yet. He drank some warm milk, moved around to make himself tired...but it didn't work." I wonder what you think when you see me. I wonder if I'm on your mind as much as you're on mine". 

Shinji reached his hand out and just looked at it for a while." I guess we might have different beliefs about what love means". Shinji sighed with rosy cheeks." You stayed with me like I wasn't a reason to leave". Shinji stared at the ceiling for a while." It sucks, doesn't it? Liking someone you can't have, seeing them every day, but knowing that they'll never be yours. All I can do is dream about how I wish he was really mine".


	7. Chapter 7

Shinji woke up suddenly, he had another nightmare. His heart was pounding hard, it seemed like it was gonna break out his chest. He was sweating as well. He pulled fewer covers off his face. He wasn't ready to wake up yet. Although, the sound of food sizzling and the pattering of raindrops hitting the shelter they were in, made him eager to know what's going on. 

Kaworu seemed to make breakfast once again and it was raining, so that's probably why he hasn't left the house yet. Shinji took the cover off of him and got out the bed. He was startled when Kaworu was still wearing his underwear. Just some plaid black boxers, nothing else." Good morning", Kaworu whispered gently." Uh, morning", Shinji sat down at the table and watched the rainfall. 

" Um, I just realized..you know those dogs?" Shinji asked looking at his reflection of the window. Kaworu was still focusing on cooking." Yeah... you're worried there's a possibility they'll arrive here?" Kaworu asked." I know you're perceptive but it sounds like you're reading my mind".

" Uh..yeah. I was just thinking that. How long has it been raining?" The rain started to get harder.

" About 4 hours. It was sprinkling before, and while I was outside observing it the raindrops were a fascinating temperature", Kaworu set some eggs and bacon on a plate." I'm stating that the weather is clearly different, the rain is hot". 

" It is!? But how?! Shinji slammed his hands on the table with disturbance." So that's why it's so warm in here".

"As I claimed previously, the Earth has shifted. Although it makes me burn with curiosity what I'll contact next...this New World is likely to cause problems for us". 

Shinji bit his lip and clenched his fist." Are you scared?" Kaworu asked, he walked over and handed Shinji his plate. He sat down in front of him, but he waited for his food to cool down. Shinji stayed silent, didn't touch his food either." I am", Kaworu noticed. 

Shinji looked at him." Although it may not be noticeable, I'm agitated", Kaworu said. Kaworu started to eat his food." At least, I'm not the only one who's afraid"." Um Kaworu, the food's great. I think...when society rebuilds itself, you'll make a girl really happy", Shinji said.

" So that's what you're thinking about?" Kaworu sighed softly and stretched in his seat." Well, I'm not sure. Finding a girlfriend is the least of my concerns. I thought I knew it all, found the one that makes your heart skip a beat, but I was wrong".

They both started to hear thunder and that's when they looked at the window." This thunderstorm is me right now. Did you like someone before me Kaworu?" They started to eat their food again. Kaworu finished first but he didn't put his plate away and just set it the side." I like storms. It reminds me that the sky screams too when things get rough". 

" It takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations", Kaworu said smoothly, he looked at Shinji. They stared at each other for a while." You mean...those kids back at my school?" Shinji murmured. Kaworu smiled affectionately. Shinji slightly blushed with a smile.

" Yes", Kaworu nodded." You've been through so much. I can't specify how it felt to be around people who completely despise you, but you've made it this far. You haven't broken yet. You're already substantial."

" But, I don't feel strong at all...", Shinji grunted. Kaworu ignored Shinji's response." A sweet soul in a world full of pain", Kaworu's eyes met with Shinji. Shinji wanted to speak, but whenever he opened his mouth and thought about how to respond, he just couldn't, it sounded wrong but felt right." If you don't get it off your chest, you'll never be able to breathe", Kaworu's eyes flared with red." I...I don't know what's right for me to say", Shinji shrugged his shoulders.

" Is it unimportant?" Kaworu asked.

" What do you mean?" Shinji responded. 

" I'm just suggesting this situation you're pondering about isn't principle because you shrugged your shoulders". 

" It's just that I'm happy with being alive and with you, but... somethings holding me back from doing what I was born to do", Shinji confessed. 

" You mean your instincts? What are you trying to do?" Kaworu asked quietly. 

" You don't understand. I can't explain it", Shinji looked at his feet shamefully. Lightning hit a branch and made it fall. They both didn't pay any attention to it." And in the end...it doesn't even matter.."." Because you don't understand. One day you'll realize how much I care about you. I'll show you. I can't be weak. I don't want to be weak. I won't be weak". Kaworu got up and put his plate in the sink, along with Shinji's." I just don't want you to hide anything major from me. You're the reason I believe in love. ", Kaworu spoke." It's not that I don't enjoy being alive, but my favorite part about being alive is being around you". 

Shinji eyed him wonderfully." You mean it?" He croaked. He couldn't make himself talk normally. There was so much exhilaration surging through his body, his hand was starting to shake in his lap. Kaworu sat back down at the table and nodded." Hey, Kaworu....?"Shinji mumbled. Kaworu hummed in response." Hm?"

"..ah..nevermind...I don't know what...", Shinji muttered softly, his voice trailed off. Kaworu looked really eager to know what was on Shinji's mind, Shinji laughed, his cheeks tinted pink." I just don't feel like I'm talking to myself anymore. You haven't forgotten about me...like the others". 

" You mean...your old friends?" Kaworu asked. Lightning struck once again.

Shinji hesitated to speak for a short moment." I don't even think they were my friends. None of them cared about me as you did", Shinji mumbled." Rei only wanted me to be close to my father, and Asuka only wanted to yell at me"." Why am I even telling you?" Kaworu got up from his seat and walked to his room. Shinji assumed he was going to get dressed. Although, it was still raining. Shinji decided to do the same as well, he got prepared to take a shower. 

A towel, a face towel, a bar of soup, and his suit. His suit was a bit dirty and battered, but it's all he had left to wear. He ran the water, stepped in cautiously, and began to wash.

††† 

" Kaworu...I-I don't even think I'm ready", Shinji stuttered, holding his spear tighter in his hands. They were walking through the forest now. The dirt muddy and the leaves still soaking of water. It was actually a bit slippery, Shinji was surprised Kaworu kept his footing so gracefully. They slipped past fallen trees and over boulders and collapsed buildings. Shinji kept his pace up, following Kaworu close behind cautiously, but shortly bumping into him after he halted." Look", he whispered pointing to the deer before them that was drinking water from a puddle." Are...", Shinji gulped nervously." Are you we...gonna kill it?" Kaworu hummed in response and nodded his head slightly. He held his bow firmly, the quiver strapped to him. 

" I thought you liked nature", Shinji said tensely." Yes, that's true, but ending animals' lives and in return them being born into something else is only a complicated cycle of mother nature. There's nothing wrong with killing this deer, I wouldn't dare waste anything the Earth provided us", Kaworu whispered harshly." I thought for once I could be in control of myself. I'm sick and tired of you telling me how I should act and what I should do. But...your criticism is always correct... I'm just too complicated and messy to make my own decisions"." Shinji... let's get to higher ground...", Kaworu's voice had broke Shinji's concentration on his throat. 

Shinji could tell Kaworu had sensed something else near." Maybe some dogs are nearby..". Kaworu put the bow between his jaws, and silently ascended up a tree, holding onto the vines attached to it hardly. Shinji was a bit relieved he wasn't the only one struggling to get up the tree. Afterward, there were over the deer, a bit high as well, not too far, there was another waterfall, and a river as well, leading down a never-ending trail of water. It was...scary." I better be careful". 

Shinji was shocked when the deer had been struck so briskly. It laid limp less in the blue sleek beasts he'd experienced before. Kaworu sighed in annoyance." Kaworu!" Shinji whispered a bit loud. Kaworu shushed him. Shinji groaned in displeasure." Why are you silencing me...just listen to me for once. You're not always right". Kaworu focused his gaze on the wild dogs closely, his breathing was even slowed and calm.

" We might have to get out of here", he finally said." Oh sure, and just starve", Shinji said quietly with a hint of sarcasm. Kaworu looked at him." Shinji...", he whispered gently. Shinji refused to look at him. The dogs hadn't looked dug into their prey yet, one dog was ripping a leg of the deer viciously and another dog held the deer in place, grasping its neck with its sharp teeth. 

" There's only three of them...we can take them if we try", Shinji said sternly." That's too much of a risk to take. We'll be doing more damage then needed. Let's just wait until they le-". 

" No way...we were here first. What's the issue with killing them, they don't provide us anything? They hurt people..they kill people...what's wrong with killing them?" Shinji tore a bit." I can do this. And even if I can't, I must try. You must know your place...that I'm not lower than you". Shinji prepared himself and leaped off the tree, Kaworu trying to reach for him before he jumped." Shinji!" He heard him shout in alarm. 

" I'm sorry. I've already decided what I wanted to do. I'll prove to you I'm more than what you imagine". While holding his spear firmly he aimed at one dog's head and pierced it perfectly." See that?" Afterward, the two other dogs snapped at him full of anger. Not only did he intimidate them, but they were also no longer interested in eating deer and focused on Shinji.

Shinji looked up quickly, it was fascinating how Shinji and Kaworu locked eyes. Shinji's eyes in disgust and annoyance and the other worry and anxiety." You don't have to save me Kaworu!" Shinji yelled. A dog had lunged for his leg, Shinji jabbed its neck, it yelped sharply." Then how am I supposed to assist you?" Kaworu whined. 

" You're not supposed to do anything for me!" Shinji swung at the other dog." I never asked for your help!"

ྉྉྉ

Kaworu shifted his position in the tree fearfully. He knew Shinji couldn't defend himself, not against them. Maybe, maybe it might be possible, but this time it wasn't a risk he was gonna take. After one of the dog's had bled out from its neck, there was only one left, it was the biggest one. He eyed Shinji full of distraught until he decided to charge at Shinji. Shinji was taken aback by how powerful the dog had been. 

It shoved him into a tree roughly. The pain had shot through his body he let go of the spear." What is the best option for me to make? There has to be some other way. If I jump down, Shinji will never forgive me. If I don't jump, he'll get killed". Kaworu shook his head in frustration, time was running out for him. The dog grabbed Shinji by the arm, Shinji squealed in agony. Kaworu felt like his voice was taken from him. He instantly dropped down from the tree, prepared to eliminate this beast. 

He was a bit late, the dog had flown Shinji over the edge of where the waterfall started. Kaworu jumped after him. Shinji had disappeared into the water, but soon after he had witnessed Shinji sinking to the floor of the body of water. He swam down deeper for him, wrapping him in his arms and swimming back up. It started to rain now, the sky had become smothered by clouds than ever. 

When they reached the shore, Shinji wasn't breathing at all. It made Kaworu even panic more, the rain wasn't helping either. At this point, Kaworu was rapidly pushing down on in the center of Shinji's chest. Although it didn't seem to work at first, Shinji coughed up water once. Kaworu tried once more, there was no response. 

When this solution didn't seem to work, Kaworu pushed Shinji's head back and opened his mouth and pressed his mouth onto his. He attempted to give Shinji a few breaths of air, he repeated the breaths for a minute before thankfully Shinji coughed up the water in his lungs. Kaworu patted his pack gently and began rubbing it as well. The rain was a bit hot now and it showered even harder. Kaworu grabbed Shinji's hand quickly, they went into a small boulder cave and sat there huddled together, soaking wet. 

Shinji started to shiver, he couldn't find himself to speak. Kaworu held him to his chest and tried his best to give him warmth."I-I-I-I'm...", Shinji stuttered. Shinji was cut off by Kaworu's gentle shushing." You don't have to explain yourself", he whispered." I wish it was a little silent. The raining outside is irritating". Shinji pushed himself away from Kaworu. Kaworu let go of him." I'm fine, I'm just a little cold. You don't have to hold me", Shinji seemed still disappointed. 

" Alright then...", Kaworu spoke." My apologies, even though I shouldn't, I always worry about if you're really okay. I'm aware you may not like that".

" It's not your fault", Shinji looked at Kaworu. His head was still facing the ground. Oh so suddenly, small tears started to roll down his face. Kaworu's sight was blurry and his eyes felt warm. He was surprised he touched his eyes but still let the tears fall." W-what is this?" Kaworu sniffled." This sticky substance...what is it?" Shinji looked at him.

" What..?" Shinji asked he was a bit concerned." This liquid coming out of my eyes...- he sniffled -...why won't it stop?" Shinji moved towards him. They were a few inches apart, their faces were close as well." They're called tears...and you're crying. People cry when they feel certain emotions like sadness or happiness? Why are you even crying?" Shinji responded. The tears were still flowing from his eyes." I'm not sure...", Kaworu admitted.

" How are you feeling?" Shinji asked softly." I can't recall..."." I'm just... really unsettled at this moment". Kaworu was shaking a bit." Don't you know...you could've died?" 

" I know...I just wanted to prove to you I'm not what you think. I just wanted to be strong for once. You always tell me what to do, I think otherwise I should decide on my own", Shinji had a small smile on his face and he wiped Kaworu's tears. Kaworu couldn't seem to make himself smile. 

ྉྉྉ

" It'll be alright... I'm okay now Kaworu", Shinji giggled a bit." Finally...now I can finally comfort you.."." I promise, I won't make any bad choices again", Shinji pulled Kaworu close to him, they hugged. Even though, they were still both wet. Now, the rain had sounded lighter, they could probably go home in a few minutes. Kaworu had wrapped his arms around Shinji. They stayed like this for a while." Seeing you so worked up, it reminds me of myself. How complicated I am". During the hug, they looked at each other." Thank you Shinji", Kaworu cooed.

" I-it's nothing really", Shinji said nervously. 

Kaworu laughed a little." But you comforting me, means a lot. Your existence is a blessing upon this Earth and I am so lucky to be alive at the same time as you". Shinji laughed as well." It's the first time you ever showed affection for someone isn't it?" Kaworu continued. 

" Uh..well..yeah...", Shinji mumbled." I just felt like you deserved it and...for helping me"." I've never seen you so upset before, I guess it shows you have feelings as well". The rain had finally stopped, although, the two didn't notice yet." Shinji?" Kaworu asked smoothly.

" Mhm?" Shinji answered. 

" Do..you want to remain like this a bit longer?" Kaworu asked." Yes", Shinji responded quickly." Yes Kaworu, you don't have to ask". Shinji held Kaworu tightly. 

†††

They had decided to go home after talking about all sorts of topics like sports, favorite genres, and music.

The lamplight flickered on and Shinji sat on his bed wrapped in a towel along with Kaworu. They were both drinking tea, green tea exactly, with a hint of lemon. There was also a portable heater on the side of the bed on HIGH. 

" Oh!" Kaworu blurted out. Shinji tilted his head at him." What?" 

" I just remembered something", Kaworu said getting up, he let the cold air in, and Shinji slightly shivered. Kaworu went into his room and returned shortly after with something behind his back, he was hiding it, but there was a kind smile on his face, it must be something good.

" What is it?" Shinji smiled a bit as well, removing his mug of tea from his mouth.

" Try to guess", Kaworu said sweetly.

" Eh...I honestly have no idea what it could be". 

Kaworu held out a black cassette player and it only took Shinji a second to realize it was his walkman." Ah! Kaworu! Where'd you find this!" Shinji shocked in awe, taking it carefully. The mug of tea was set perfectly in his lap, he tried not to spill it." Well, let's say I wander off at nighttime and happened to step on it, I fixed it again, it should be working correctly", Kaworu said.

Shinji set his mug of tea on the floor and got up and hugged tightly. Kaworu gasped a bit at first, but he smiled down at Shinji warmly. Shinji let go of him after a while." Thank you so much Kaworu!" Shinji shouted excitingly. Kaworu nodded his head. 

" I'm glad you're happy. Anything for you". He pulled the towel back over him and sat close next to Shinji. 

After a while, Shinji and Kaworu listened to tracks on his cassette. Songs like " Blue Legend " and " You are the only one ". When it had gotten dark, and their tea was gone. Kaworu pulled the towel off of him, sat up, and looked down at Shinji, who took his earbud out his ear." Hm?" He hummed.

" You should get some shut-eye. If you need anything knock on my door", Kaworu said about to walk away but Shinji stopped him in his tracks. Shinji had instantly reached for Kaworu's hand, Kaworu turned to him." His hand feels so warm..."." Hey um... Kaworu? Can you stay with me...? It's just for tonight, I don't feel tired yet", Shinji slightly blushed." We don't have to listen to music anymore, we can just talk". 

" Sure Shinji. I love talking to you", Kaworu chuckled and sat beside Shinji once again. Once again, they stayed up till dawn talking about all sorts of topics.


	8. Chapter 8

Shinji turned over and wrapped the cover around himself more, although he was surprised to feel something was holding the cover down. He couldn't pull the cover towards him, he forced himself to open his eyes. He was facing the wall, he tugged the cover once again. When he glanced over his shoulder, Kaworu was laying beside. He was sleeping like a baby, but it also seemed like he was about to fall out of the bed." I can't believe it... Kaworu's sleeping in MY bed. I wonder if he decided to sleep with me purposely". Shinji jumped a bit when Kaworu moved and finally rose from his sweet slumber. He looked confused about where he was, then he looked at Shinji and smiled slightly." Good morning...", Kaworu had said so faintly. 

" Right", Shinji sighed." How'd you sleep?" He crawled over towards and sat criss-cross in front of him. Kaworu was still laying down, he turned over to face Shinji." It was sufficient", Kaworu exhaled.

" You look tired", Shinji said.

" It's not that I'm tired. I feel really eager to explore our surroundings once more. But...I was having an excellent dream and then I woke up". Kaworu looked saddened." What was your dream about?" Shinji asked, trying to cheer him up at least.

" We were fighting an angel together" Kaworu smiled.

" Oh...do you remember any details about it?" Shinji asked. He honestly wanted to know more, although, he didn't plan on getting into an Eva any sooner.

" We fought together gracefully and won. I can't remember that much of it", Kaworu sighed softly.

Suddenly, Shinji's face had instantly turned red." Wait! Yesterday...when I fell into the river and drowned! Oh my God!" Shinji covered his mouth. Kaworu couldn't seem to figure out what he was yelling about." What is it?" He asked.

" Y-you...saved me b-b-but", Shinji stuttered. He was so flushed, Kaworu found it more amusing than infuriating." When I woke up, your...mouth was on mine...you technically kissed me", Shinji averted his eyes embarrassingly.

" I understand now. I guess it was a kiss. Was that your first kiss Shinji?" Kaworu asked smoothly.

"...I mean...yeah", he was looking somewhere else now." It was mine too. It felt pleasant...it made me feel tingly. I wish I could've enjoyed it a bit longer with you", Kaworu said.

" But...Boys aren't meant to kiss each other?" Shinji groaned.

" What's your issue with males brushing their lips together?" Kaworu asked uncertainly. 

" I just don't think it's right is all", Shinji tried to lie." I don't know why it's wrong either. I haven't exactly been attracted to any other boys lately, although...Kaworu is different in so many ways. He makes me feel essential".

" Well, I know for a fact, that's not how you precisely feel about it", Kaworu smiled smugly." Damnit, I forgot he was perceptive". Shinji blushed once again. Kaworu's eyes flickered a bright red." Do you like kissing me Shinji?" 

" It did feel good...", Shinji mumbled. Kaworu smiled." Do you want to try again?" 

" Maybe.." 

" Hey. What are we gonna do today?" Shinji asked. His cheeks were still a bit red, but he calmed down soon enough. Kaworu thought for a while." We can gather fruit. I think hunting can wait until another day", he responded casually. 

Shinji waited a few seconds to think about what he wanted to do." Aw...I wanted to try again", he admitted. Kaworu smiled." We can try when you want to. I just thought it'd be a little menacing, but it's obvious now you can manage yourself", Kaworu said. 

Shinji smiled warmly." I guess maybe it's too early for a kiss". Kaworu turned the other way and got out of bed, he yawned a little then stretched before heading towards the screen door and sliding it open. The fresh air smelled wonderful, the fresh scent of rain was a pleasant smell as well." It's beautiful today. Let's survey the forest. What do you say Shinji?" Kaworu asked looking back at him.

" Yeah. Let's go", he got out and started to make up his bed. Soon enough, they left their secure home.

†††

They were walking through the pathways of the rainforest now. It was even better today, more familiar creatures were visible. Shinji saw snakes and treefrogs, there surprisingly were rabbits. There were even macaws and other colorful birds in the canopy above." Oh, I just remembered...I lost my spear. Oh well, I'll just make another one when I get back home". Shinji then remembered, they had arrived back where Kaworu and he had learned to swing from vines. This is also the place where they gazed at the stars. 

Shinji found a spot of shade and sat down comfortably, taking off the backpack he was wearing, he handed it to Kaworu who took it after." Aren't you gonna help?" He asked. 

" Eh...my legs gave out on me. I'll be right there", Shinji replied. He watched Kaworu put on the backpack and swiftly climb up a tree, he had soon returned with more blue fruit and sat down beside Shinji." Hey, let's label this extraordinary fruit we've discovered", Kaworu suggested.

" Sure", Shinji took one out the bag and held it in his hands." I don't exactly know what to name it". Kaworu tilted his head and smiled." I'm assuming you came up with a name Kaworu"." Nightberry...it doesn't sound original, but this fruit specifically sprout when the moon is to its peak", he explained.

" How do you know?" Shinji grunted. He was only upset because Kaworu came up with a good name.

"As I stated recently, I wander in the forest at midnight sometimes. When I walk outside that time of day, I see the moon and it reminds me of you". 

Shinji took a bite out of the newly named Nightberry. He missed the bittersweet taste of the fruit a lot, and it seemed he might be eating this for a while as well. There was still food in the refrigerator, just not plenty of it." How does the moon remind you of me?" Shinji asked. 

" I have yet to find the words to describe the beauty of your face when you are asleep in my arms. No simile, no metaphor could describe the simplicity in beauty of the way your eyelashes rest on your cheeks, nor the surge of love I feel when I get to see you in the morning. When I find them, I'll tell you", Kaworu said casually taking a bite of his Nightberry." I guess I'm not that bad looking. Who am I kidding? I'm not beautiful or ugly"." I don't think I'm that attractive...", Shinji said shyly.

" I think the opposite", Kaworu chirped." Hey, Shinji? Are you satisfied?"

Shinji looked a bit confused. He kept eating his fruit. He soon realized what Kaworu was saying." I couldn't really ask for anything more but to be with you longer". 

Kaworu nodded his head and hummed." I like people with emotional and intellectual depth, people that speak with passion from their twisted minds", Kaworu said then he looked at Shinji." Someday, someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you've never seen, they'll look at you like you're everything they've been looking for their entire lives". 

" But Kaworu, don't you look at me that way?" Shinji asked." Why did I say that?" 

" Actually...you are correct", Kaworu buzzed. Shinji tensed his body." I like you a lot of Shinji. Two souls are sometimes created together and in love before they're even born. At least,   
I believe this warm affectionate subduing is love". 

" Wait, you love me Kaworu?" Shinji asked surprisingly. Shinji set down his fruit. 

" I am not entirely sure, but I never want this feeling to stop. I don't want to forget our memories. I want to remember them without any pain". 

" Then... I'll stay with you. You make me happy I'm alive," Shinji smiled, he had already finished his fruit.

Kaworu had finished the rest of his food and he decided it was time to venture some more...when Shinji's legs were feeling better. They traveled over creeks and then down rocky slopes, Kaworu made sure not to forget the path they'd taken. Kaworu noticed a collapsed apartment deluxe a few meters away from him. It was ripped in half and furniture had fallen out of it like a broken TV and coffee table, he could also smell the sour tang of blood nearby." I think we're getting closer to part of Tokyo-3 that had been demolished", Kaworu spoke. 

Shinji continued walking carefully down the rocky slope." You think we'll find any survivors?" Shinji asked. He also stumbled. 

" Searching for a remaining group of citizens is the least of my concern, but it doesn't do any harm confirming if there are people alive", Kaworu replied hastily." Also, I smell blood". 

" So that's what that smell was", Shinji seemed unsettled. They reached the bottom of the slope, Shinji started to inspect the area. He was disappointed that Kaworu didn't seem too interested in searching. He was leaning against a palm tree muttering something to himself, but soon he chose to look around as well. 

While Shinji had found a small ax in the bushes, he heard the clicking of a gun. He turned his head slightly, Kaworu had found a gun. The gun was odd-looking, Shinji couldn't exactly tell what it was, but Kaworu looked very focused on it." It's still loaded", He hissed." H-hey! Just what are you planning on shooting!?" Shinji panicked.

" Calm down, I know how to shoot and aim a pistol", Kaworu said, and he was aiming the pistol at a coconut high up in a palm tree." So it's a pistol". He didn't take the risk of wasting a single bullet though." It's just like archery", Kaworu said cheerfully." It is not!"

" It doesn't look like a pistol", Shinji mumbled. He was still holding the hatchet. 

" Well, this is an outmoded manufactured pistol, no wonder it looks so odd. I'm assuming it was made probably around 2006, I'm surprised Lilins still utilize them". Shinji noticed there was blood on the gun, he gasped. He looked around somewhere until he came to a patch of red grass, he guessed it was dried blood.

It was a 4-day fresh old corpse of an old man, something had torn through his body, he looked away with horror. Kaworu had finally taken notice of it and walked over." Must've been those savages we encountered, they didn't even eat him either", Kaworu sighed." Okay, you're scaring me Kaworu...". 

" I wonder...", Kaworu started." What if they're in the area". Shinji shuddered. 

Shinji tried his best to change the subject." What kind of gun is it?" He asked, his voice high pitched from fear.

" Calico M950", Kaworu said it instantly. He wiped the side of the pistol slowly and smoothly with his fingers.

" You sure know a lot about guns", Shinji said.

" Yes. The design of some guns are really intriguing, I studied plenty before and even practiced shooting rifles, shotguns, and other ones too", Kaworu chuckled." I even know the range of this gun....- he thought for a few seconds - over 300 yards. I see you found an ax". 

" Yeah, it was stuck in some shrubs", Shinji said." I don't think it's an ordinary ax though, it's smaller than usual ones I've seen before". 

" Good observation, it's an emergency ax from an aircraft", Kaworu clarified.

" That's what I was thinking. Maybe there's an airplane nearby. It could've crashed". Shinji and Kaworu began to search the rainforest, they split up for a while until Shinji had found an airplane that had fallen apart, it was nearly dug into the dirt as well. It was an airliner and seemed like some stuff had flown out of it, like seats and baggage." Kaworu!" Shinji called, Kaworu appeared behind some tall ferns.

" I see. It would've been smart to bring another bag with us", Kaworu said. He walked inside the collapsing aircraft and looked around. Kaworu had a discomforted look when he had entered, Shinji followed after. There were corpses scattered across the destroyed airline. Although they had decayed, the sight was still horrific. Kaworu didn't seem as frightened though, more or less concerned about what had occurred." All these people...they died in this crash", Shinji gulped." Do you think, when the fourth impact started...it was my fault this happened?" 

Kaworu put his hand on Shinji's back and rubbed it gently." I don't think there's any way possible it was your fault. Bad things happen sometimes, that's just how life's cycle is". Shinji smiled a bit." Hey, lets search through the luggage. Maybe we'll find some clothes that suit to our size," Shinji nodded and he fumbled with the lock of a briefcase, it opened up with a click. The first thing he saw was just a stack of clothes, he pulled some out, they were pants. They were way too big for him. Although, while he was digging through the briefcase he found a lot of money and paperwork. 

Since there was no need for money anymore, Shinji closed the briefcase, set it aside, and kept moving. He had made it through most of what was remaining on his side, Kaworu seemed to have found something he liked as well. 

" Shinji, are you ready to leave?" Kaworu asked politely. There were a few clothes folded up in his arms." Looks like we have the same amount." 

" Sure", Shinji smiled." Where to now?" 

"There are more buildings over there", Kaworu pointed to a section of destroyed structures that were once houses and stores." I just have a feeling there's something compelling over in that direction." Shinji laughed lightly." Hehe, then let's go already". 

†††

They had soon entered a crumbling old church. The ceiling had started to fall in, so the sunlight from outside shown brightly. The floors were dirty and dusty and the colorful windows that were in the church were shattered across the floor." Even though this place isn't in stable condition, Kaworu seems to like it a lot". Shinji could tell by the way Kaworu's eyes had reflected the rainbow colors on the broken windows of the church that it made him feel happy. 

Kaworu had walked around the church filled with awe, although Shinji on the other hand sat bored in a chair watching Kaworu's every move. Kaworu seemed to stride from one place to another, he talked out loud about his feelings about a single cobweb glistening in the sunlight to how the setting of the church had made him feel like was in a suspenseful movie. 

" You sure do have an imagination Kaworu", Shinji said affectionately. His voice had sounded louder now that they were in a hollow area." Ah, it's just there's so much I haven't encountered yet. I like learning new things". Shinji had blankly turned his attention to a dusty old box with records in them, he got up from his seat and walked towards them.

Although there was grime on it, he simply swiped it off, along with a record case he randomly pulled out. It was labeled " Fly Me To The Moon ", a song he listened to over 100 times and became one of his favorite songs to hear. Kaworu was soon leaning over Shinji's shoulder." What are you looking at?" 

" Oh- I just found some old records...some of these I'm very familiar with". 

" That's good. I found a record player. Let's play some music", he reached for the record Shinji was holding, dusting it off and headed towards the record player he had found. It was set on a round wooden table and seemed like it hadn't been touched for decades. Kaworu had cleaned it with a rag he found and plugged it into an outlet that still seemed to work. 

Afterward, he placed the record down and put the needle over it and it started to play." This brings back memories". Kaworu had sat on the table and listened to the melody of the song, he liked it a lot." You know, it's like the song is telling a story in some ways. The lyrics are magical and meaningful", Kaworu spoke. Although the song seemed to play over his words, Shinji had understood. 

" Yeah, I like this song a lot. The harmony of it is relaxing to me", Shinji said. 

" Hey, Shinji? Do you know how to dance?" Kaworu asked randomly.

" I haven't tried...", Shinji laughed nervously." 

" I haven't either. Let's try it together", Kaworu hopped off the table and walked towards Shinji grabbed his hand gently but a bit forceful.

" Oh-okay", he got out of his seat and Kaworu led him to an open area in the church where they could dance." But I don't know how", Shinji admitted. 

" I don't either...but I've seen Lilins dance on TV before. The one I saw was called slow dancing, I think it's beautiful", Kaworu said, his hands were firm around Shinji's.".. We're holding hands...". Almost instantly, Kaworu put his right hand on Shinji's right hip side and the other hand reached for Shinji's left hand." What are you doing Kaworu!?" Shinji squealed.

" This is the position the couple was in on TV. Now, place your free hand on my shoulder", Kaworu said smoothly. Shinji obediently put his right hand on Kaworu's shoulder, they were a little closer now. Then, Kaworu moved his right foot in between Kaworu's pair, Shinji did the same. Although Shinji has seen people on TV and in TV shows and movies, he knew what they were supposed to do next. They started to sway back and forth in circles perfectly. The motions were slow and smooth, all that could be heard was the tune of the music and the faint breathing of the two. Although, Kaworu seemed to be leading Shinji to follow his movements.

" Isn't this wonderful?" Kaworu asked delightfully, they're noses we're only inches away.

" Yeah, I'm having lots of fun with you Kaworu", Shinji nodded. Their movements became a bit quicker, Kaworu spun Shinji in a circle, Shinji twirled instantly." Nice one", Kaworu commented." I'm only following you", Shinji huffed, his cheeks were pink. 

While they moved at a quicker pace, it's like their motions were synced. Kaworu spun Shinji around him, Shinji followed and they met eyes once again. They both laughed." This is your first time but you seem like a professional", Shinji spoke.

" I'm only doing the movements that I remember. If we practiced together we could win a contest", Kaworu uttered.

" You really think so. I guess dancing is not so bad after all", Shinji said. Eventually, Shinji had tripped over Kaworu's foot and almost went down when Kaworu had caught him immediately. Kaworu's hands were settled on Shinji's back, he pulled Shinji up slightly, their faces were close together. Shinji blushed." What's funny is that this happened while the couple were dancing", Kaworu broke the awkward silence.

" Then what happened next?" Shinji asks, he was so embarrassed he couldn't move, so Kaworu and Shinji staid in the same position.

" The man leaned closer towards the woman, looked into her gorgeous blue eyes", Kaworu had leaned closer to Shinji, their noses were touching, Shinji didn't dare move." Then, the man reached down towards the woman's ear and whispered into it...I love you...", Kaworu had done the same. His nose grazed Shinji's cheek and he leaned down further until their chests were touching. He whispered those words softly into Shinji's ear that it tickled and made Shinji giggle slightly. 

So suddenly, Shinji had pushed Kaworu off of him and stood up straightly. He only did this because the music had stopped, the sweet song was over now." That was fun", Shinji said. 

" Do you want to dance to another song?"

" Sure."

" But it appears it's getting late anyway and the shelter is a bit far. Might as well go home now", Kaworu cooed." Then why'd you ask me?"

†††

Soon after, Shinji and Kaworu had made it home late but safely. They entered their home quietly. Shinji flopped on his bed, Kaworu had followed after with two Nightberries in both of his hands." Are you going to bed?" Kaworu asked handing a fruit to Shinji." Only if you are", Shinji answered, he took the fruit. They both started eating." I was terrible..." Shinji mumbled. 

Kaworu looked at him. He assumed Shinji was talking about when they were dancing." You did well-- even when you think it wasn't enough. Even if others thought it wasn't enough. You tried, and that should count for something. Do not belittle yourself Shinji", Kaworu said. 

" Hey Kaworu, do you think we'll survive? That we'll find help...," Shinji whispered, taking a bite of his fruit.

" It takes time to rebuild yourself piece by piece but have faith that it will happen. That while your journey may take longer, you will get there. Healing isn't linear, and it isn't a competition. The most important thing is to focus on things that you need and make you happy, and right now you need someone to make you happy. To make you complete...", Kaworu stared at the windows. It was pitch black.

"...I need you..", Shinji whispered, he had turned his head so he wouldn't have to look at Kaworu." I regret saying that".

" I know you do. That's why I love you", Kaworu and Shinji met eyes." What!?" Shinji noticed Kaworu's cheeks were a light shade of pink. That soft smile was on his face as well. " He means it?" " You love me?" Shinji asked quietly.

" Yes, Shinji. I truly and completely love you", Kaworu scooted closer to Shinji, their legs were completely touching." I...I love you too... Kaworu", Shinji said gently. Shinji placed on Kaworu. They stared at each other for a while." Now I feel you in my heart and in my soul. I feel it...I finally feel it. That part of me that was always in the dark, the part of my soul that didn't feel complete", Kaworu confessed.

" Yeah...I felt like no one cared about me at all. Even if I tried to get close to someone, there's always a way where I end up getting hurt", Shinji looked at his feet.

" That's why you isolated yourself from everyone?" Kaworu asked. Shinji nodded. Their fruit was gone now.

" Hey...um, will you sleep with me tonight?" Shinji asked." You can sleep in my bed!" 

" I'd like that a lot. Thank you Shinji", Kaworu said. He was about to get up when he finally thought about it." Let's wear the clothes we picked out". 

" Right". 

They both got up and changed in their respective rooms. Shinji was wearing a white t-shirt with black shorts while Kaworu was wearing a yellow long sleeve shirt with gray sweat pants. Soon enough, they were both tucked underneath the covers. The lights were off the moonlight only shown in the pitch-black shelter. 

" Do you really love me Kaworu?" Shinji asked staring at the ceiling.

" Yes, I love you Shinji. You're brave, loyal, strong-willed, rebellious, sweet, and a thousand words more", Kaworu said. Shinji looked at Kaworu, he leaned his face closer to his. He wrapped his arms around him. Kaworu's cheeks had become pink once again. Shinji nuzzled Kaworu's face.

" Shinji...that tickles", Kaworu giggled. They fell asleep soon after.


	9. Chapter 9

Shinji woke up slowly. It was very cold this morning. Although, the warmth of Kaworu soothed him. He opened his eyes with silver hair in front of him. He slanted into it, sniffing it slightly. It smelled of the sea and sand. Kaworu had been buried underneath his chin, sinking his face into his neck." Did I even mean what I said last night? That I loved you Kaworu? Did I just respond so quickly because I didn't want you to leave me?" 

Although the bed was cozy with both of them in it together, Shinji needed to use the bathroom. He tried his best not to wake Kaworu, it also seemed like it was 6 in the morning, the sun wasn't up. He slowly unloosened himself from Kaworu and went to the bathroom. When he returned, he sat at the kitchen table and looked out the window. A small tint of pink was illuminating the deep indigo sky." That's pretty, I wish you could see it Kaworu". 

At that moment, Shinji decided to watch the sunrise along with sliced Nightberries on a plate near him. Soon enough, the warm shaft of sunshine that shown in the room eventually woke up Kaworu." Good morning", Shinji smiled. 

Kaworu slightly had the cover over his face, but Shinji could tell he was smiling too." Ah...good morning Shinji", he said calmly, pulling himself up." Hey...remember that cavern we went to? Maybe we could go back, I wanted to explore it more", Shinji beamed.

Kaworu nodded." Well, you're correct. There is more than you think hidden in the cavern I was planning on showing you soon. We can go whenever you want, I'm feeling a bit drowsy".

" Sure. You can get some more rest", Shinji said with a comforting smile. Kaworu patted the side of him, for Shinji to lay there." Let's take a nap together, that way both of us will have enough energy to go", Kaworu said. Shinji nodded, finished the rest of the sliced Nightberry then laid next to Kaworu in the bed. The warm sunlight beaming on them made them fall asleep easier. 

†††

" Come on Kaworu, wake up", Shinji shook him gently. Kaworu fluttered his eyes open and looked at Shinji softly." Ah...you're ready to go?" Kaworu cooed.

" Mhm!" Shinji nodded." Let's go". Shinji had instantly sprung out of bed and got dressed in his damaged black suit. Kaworu had soon enough did the same, and they left their safe home. 

While leaving, Kaworu bought his new prized possession with him, his gun." You didn't have to bring that", Shinji grunted." It's for protection", Kaworu said.

" But guns make me nervous, they hurt people".

" I see, my bad Shinji". 

While they were walking there was no conversation erupting at all." I wonder what you're thinking about Kaworu. That's odd for you not to speak. There must be something serious in your head"." What are you thinking about?" Shinji randomly asked.

" I just want you to keep in mind that you matter. It just takes the right kind of person to see it", Kaworu said." Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them. You have to figure out who's worth your kindness and who's just taking advantage of you".

" I know. I guess being alone is just my thing, thank you for staying with me. I don't exactly know why you're still with me. Why you even bothered to be my friend in the first place". 

" I just thought you needed a second chance. You've been trying so hard trying to find your place in the world, and all the world did was chew you up and spit you out". 

" I'm just grateful that you're with me. I've never felt so excited before, I guess good things do happen when we're together".

Kaworu smiled." The struggles you are going through today are eventually going to become reminders to the future. It's going to remind you how strong you are and how you can handle anything this world throws at you". 

" Is it strange? I still feel alone even if I'm with you?" Shinji asked looking at him.

" But as long as you never forget me, I will always be with you..even if things don't go as planned. You are not as alone as you feel. The moon is alone, but it also finds a way to shine". 

" Of course. I'm just stressing too much. Nevermind then", Shinji smiled at Kaworu. 

" I only want you to know that I care. I don't mind listening to you vent, as long as you acknowledge that I care about you Shinji". 

" I know Kaworu. I care about you too". Soon enough, their little chat led them to the cove they had once experienced together. Although it was in the evening now, the cavern inside still seemed to look beautiful." The butterflies aren't here", Shinji spoke." Maybe they only appear at night. For now, we can explore some more", Kaworu said. Shinji nodded. 

They both started to walk around the mysterious cavern." Look Kaworu", Shinji had exited the cavern that led down a black rocky slope into a field of white flowers. Exactly like the one Kaworu had in his hair that one time. Kaworu had walked over." Ah right. Those magical flowers. Let's go", Kaworu slid down the slope steadily, same for Shinji.

" If we go into the flowers, won't we step on some?" Shinji asked." You're correct, but I want to lie down in them with you", Kaworu admitted.

There was a small patch of grass near the flowers that Shinji had noticed. It appeared Kaworu had just spotted it as well. They started carefully on their way to the patch of grass, deliberately avoiding the flowers so they wouldn't ruin them. Eventually, they were both lounged across the grass staring up at the cloudy but blue sky. Kaworu sighed calmly." That cloud up there looks like a lamb", Kaworu pointed at it. Shinji gazed up at the puffy clouds, indeed it looked like a lamb." Yeah, I like stratocumulus clouds", Shinji said. Kaworu studied Shinji.

" Gee, you know your clouds well", Kaworu said loosely.

" Uh, er- yeah, when I was in school, we discussed them a lot. I just happened to remember". 

" Then, tell me what those clouds are. The ones that look like swan feathers", Kaworu pointed up to some feathery looking clouds, although they were very high, Shinji was able to observe and finally spoke " Cirrus. Those clouds are called cirrus".

" I knew it. There's a lot of things clouds can form into if you have enough creativity. Like that one that looks like a warm blanket". Kaworu raised his hand in the air once again, pointing at a slightly square-shaped cloud." Oh! And that one looks like the Earth!"

Kaworu suddenly sat up and started to pick the flowers around him." Hey Kaworu! Why are you picking them!? Shinji shouted." It's a surprise", Kaworu cooed." I wonder what these strange flowers are. They look exactly like white daffodils, but the stamens and pistol of the flower are blue..so weird". Kaworu soon enough was holding something behind his back." Close your eyes", Kaworu smiled softly." O-okay", Shinji closed his eyes obediently. 

Kaworu placed something on Shinji's head." It smells sweet and feels soft", Shinji commented.

" Open your eyes". 

Shinji opened his eyes. He could tell at the corner of his eyes that he was wearing a flower crown, Kaworu had recently made." Ah! Thanks! I like it a lot!" Shinji shouted happily." Shinji? Do you know about the flower language?" Kaworu asked. Shinji shook his head. Kaworu started to pick the daffodils again, he was making his own flower crown now." It's called Floriography, the language of flowers. It's cryptological communication through the use or arrangement of flowers. For example, an acorn means " Nordic Symbol of Life and Immortality and a red carnation means ' My Heart Aches For You' and 'Admiration' ", Kaworu said looking up at the sky.

" Wow really? What about a daffodil?" Shinji asked.

" A daffodil means ' Regard ',' Unrequited Love ',' You're The Only One ' and ' The Sun Is Always Shining When I'm With You ' ".

" Is that why you made us flower crowns?" 

" Yeah, they symbolize the special bond we have. It's special...because you've never experienced any feelings like this with a significant other, am I correct?" 

" No...not at all. We do have a special bond because I haven't pushed you away". 

" That's right. Why were you so comfortable with me before?" Kaworu finished his crown and placed it on his head lightly. 

" Well...I...I don't really know. I guess it's because you're a guy, so you aren't as difficult to talk to. Girls kinda make me nervous and they're complicated...". 

" Before we were talking the whole night, you told me that a red hair girl named Asuka and Rei was in your class. This is just an assumption, but I believe you had tough times with them as well, huh?"

" Yeah! Asuka is always yelling at me for no reason and sometimes it's hard to start a conversation with Rei. But- I feel more comfortable around Rei in total". 

" Rei is the quiet type. Maybe that's why you like her. You like a little bit of silence sometimes". Kaworu laid back down. Shinji noticed he laid closer than before.

" Yeah, I miss the old Rei. But maybe, when we find the other Rei, we can teach her a few things". 

" I do have a strange feeling that The First Child is alive and out there somewhere. I'd like to reconstruct Rei's mind a bit, she is also another mutual that deserves happiness". 

They both started slightly laughed. At this point, they were looking at the sky once more. Shinji turned to his side, facing Kaworu. Kaworu still lay comfortable in the patch of grass." Yes, Shinji?" He asked." I just...I guess this feeling isn't wrong anymore. Oh well".

" It's nothing, I just want to...", as Shinji was speaking, his voice trailed off and he had leaned slowly into Kaworu's face, held one of Kaworu's cheeks and pressed his lips onto Kaworu's, Kaworu reacted only by shivering in excitement." This feels nice". Shinji eventually broke the kiss and looked at Kaworu eagerly." I just want to know how you feel about this".

Kaworu was a bit speechless, he caressed his cheek where Shinji had held it and blushed a bright pink." What does this mean?" Shinji asked." We are not just friends anymore", Kaworu said. 

" Well, we're not a couple either", Shinji spoke." Oh I know, we're soulmates ". 

" Yes", Kaworu smiled.

" What do we do now?" Shinji asked.

" We will survive". 

" I know, I just need to have a little faith in humanity. We will all survive in the end. The sun will rise, and we will try again".

" Not faith in humanity. You need to have faith in yourself. You can't control what happens to you, but you can choose how you'll react". 

" But, whatever decision I make feels like a bad one".

" In order to learn from your mistakes, you have to acknowledge them in the first place".

" Why do you keep lecturing me?" Shinji groaned. 

" I'm not lecturing you, I'm just giving you advice. You don't have to take it if you don't want it". 

" We'll never know when this story ends", Shinji muttered.

" Not until we get our happy ending, then the next chapter begins", Kaworu whispered.

" What a cliche". 

A few moments later, Kaworu got up from the grass and wiped himself off." Where are you going?" Shinji asked, sitting up.

" Just to have some fun, come on", Kaworu giggled. 

" Fun?" " Like what?" Shinji asked getting up fully.

Kaworu had instantly dropped and rolled down the hill of flowers." Hey, wait! Kaworu!" Shinji shouted after him. Shinji had tried to run after Kaworu down the hill, but he ended up tripping and tumbling alongside Kaworu. Shinji relaxed when he heard the joyful laugh of Kaworu. Shinji accidentally rolled over on top of Kaworu, who looked at him with dreamy eyes." Uh, sorry", he got off him quickly.

" It's alright", Kaworu said. Kaworu sat up and looked at the beach that was in front of them now." Hey, do you wanna swim?" Shinji asked, smiling at Kaworu nervously. Kaworu frowned." I can't", he responded sadly.

" Why not?" Shinji frowned as well. 

" Although the ocean may be beautiful to watch, I refuse to swim in it again".

" Are you afraid... Kaworu?" 

" Yes".

" Why?" 

Kaworu didn't say anything. Shinji shuffled his feet uncomfortably. The sun was beginning to set a bit." What do you want to do now?" Shinji asked.

" Whatever you want to do", Kaworu smiled again.

" ...but I'm asking you".

" Then, I don't know. I just want to be there for you. I guess I haven't had enough time to think about my own needs".

" That's okay", Shinji sighed. They stared at the sun glowing across the water." Thank you for loving me". Shinji's eyes shimmered. Kaworu stared at him passionately." Through rain, through growth, through change. Thank you...for still loving me".

" There's no need to thank me Shinji. These feelings flow naturally. If you need anything, I'm always available." I have a feeling that something isn't right".

" Um...Kaworu? We don't have to go into the ocean, but do you want to stay near the shore?" Shinji asked." It's just until the sun goes down. I wanted to watch the sunset with you". 

" Sure thing", Kaworu got slowly along with Shinji. They walked closely near the edge of the water, living tracks behind them." Kaworu? Um...do you have any parents?" Shinji asked.

" I don't believe so", Kaworu responded blankly.

" But everyone has parents", Shinji exclaimed.

" Not me".

" Did something bad happen to them?"

" I'm not sure"." Then you're just like me...no mother...no father...".

" Do you...remember your parents at all?" 

" No...", Kaworu sounded like his voice broke.

" I'm....really sorry. I only brought up painful memories", Shinji muttered." What should I do now? Kaworu looks so sad".

" I don't understand...", Kaworu talked underneath his breathe." I don't understand what it feels like...to be loved that way...I despise this emotion I'm feeling". 

" I don't understand either. But I do understand that you're lonely even if you're with me. There's a lot of things you must've been cut off from." Kaworu nodded slowly." Um...is there anywhere you used to live?"" Or is it that...you don't have a home either".

Kaworu looked up at the blue sky, then, he raised his arm and pointed at the dim moon that shown in the atmosphere above them." You used to live on the moon!?" Shinji shouted." It was only temporary. Although I've never been on Earth before, I learned many things on the moon".

" Like what?"

" Eh...there's too much to state. Just normal human culture. Like, exercising, folding up a bed, or even gardening...normal things".

" Please tell me if I'm asking too many questions. It just seems really interesting...up there in space".

" It is, but it gets unamusing furthermore. I get mostly all the knowledge I know now from digital demonstrations or books. Sometimes, up there I watched movies and TV, it's entertaining".

" You've never attended school?" Shinji asked with concern.

" No", Kaworu admitted." I wonder if Kaworu knows basic math or even his ABCs". 

" Um, do you know your ABCs?" Shinji joked.

Although Kaworu could tell he was joking he did not look happy." I'm not disabled Shinji", he glared at Shinji." I didn't mean to offend you", Shinji said sheepishly.

" But you say hurtful statements to me anyway", Kaworu said bluntly. Shinji cowered a bit." I'm not gonna lie, I forgot you had those feelings. How do I fix this tension between us". 

" You know, my guardian was Misato before...she told me the first person you think of when you stand in front of the ocean, is the person you're in love with. Before, the ocean was full of LCL, and the first person I thought of was Rei...", Shinji said. The sun appeared like it was going down." Is it because of her shimmery red eyes? It reminded you of how the sun hits the water and makes it shimmer?" Kaworu asked." I didn't think he'd be so understandable with this topic". 

" Yeah, you noticed as well? She was precious to me. I would've done anything for her, and now Nerv took her soul away", Shinji grumbled.

" If she was still herself, you would've considered her the one huh?" Kaworu asked." Thank you for understanding". 

" I probably would've, if she felt the same way".

" Do you still consider her? Even if she was herself?" Kaworu's tone was tense." I don't know...that's such a hard question. If I could have my old Rei back, I don't know what I'd do"." I'm not sure, you seem to care for me the same way she does...both of you are selfless when it comes to me", Shinji frowned. Kaworu clenched his fists in silence, Shinji didn't seem to notice.

ྉྉྉ

"

How much time have I spent? Stuck in that coffin? And during that time... she's been making you happy more than me...she made you feel like you achieved something for once... something I could've never done. Although, Ayanami, I am grateful for you taking my place when I was absent...but I didn't expect for Shinji to be this attached to you"." Um, Kaworu!?" Shinji slightly shook Kaworu, who snapped back to reality.

" Ah yes. Sorry, I was just...thinking about something...", Kaworu said. 

" Are you alright?" Shinji asked putting his hand on Kaworu's shoulder who looked at him pleasantly." Of course, I am. You are always with me. That is the only reason why I'm still sane". Shinji smiled brightly, Kaworu slightly blushed. Kaworu had slightly jumped when the seawater had reached his ankles. Shinji held him in place." Kaworu...it's alright. Nothing bad will happen to you..", Shinji whispered.

Kaworu fell silent. He was too afraid to speak. The tide went out and Kaworu had quickly moved further into the depth of sand." I want to go home", Kaworu sighed." I just want to lie underneath the covers for warmth and safety"." I'm sorry", Shinji muttered.

" It is not your fault", Kaworu's tone so soft.

" Kaworu...? Are you ever going to tell me what happened? You said ' trust me ' but you can't tell me your past or secret", Shinji grunted. 

" It's not like that..", Kaworu hissed." I'm just not...ready to tell you. It's strange...you open up to me, but I still can't force myself to show my true colors".

" I understand Kaworu. I didn't think you'd be so insecure about your past as well. It's alright, you deserve better, you know you do". Shinji hugged him awkwardly, Kaworu held him tightly." Thank you...". 

The sun had fully gone down, making the sky a beautiful deep blue color." What do...I want again? I know..."." Shinji, I want to lie down in the sand with you and stare at the sky", Kaworu said gently. Shinji smiled, he seemed happy." Sure!"

They both shifted close to one another and stared at the jet black sky above them." I believe the moon understands what it means to feel lonely, imperfect, uncertain...it is like a human", Kaworu whispered." When times are dark, it always finds a way to shine. The moon reminds me of you". 

" Is that why you like it so much?" Shinji asked. Kaworu slightly nodded." In total, the moon is prettier than the sun, plus, you can stare at the moon's beauty all you want, unlike the sun", Kaworu said. 

" That's a good point", Shinji exhaled lightly." Hey..um..is it bad that I don't want to move on from my past?" 

" You mean causing both impacts?" Kaworu faced Shinji." Eventually, in your lifetime, you'll have to move on. Things in the past can never be changed. But here is what you need to know about moving on. There is absolutely nothing that can heal you and erase your pain than letting go. By letting go, you will receive even more knowledge through pain and love"." You'll get there. You just need more time". 

" Do you think anyone will forgive me?" Shinji replied.

" No".

" Will you forgive me?" 

" Oh Shinji, you haven't done anything bad to me", Kaworu giggled softly.

" No, I mean...will you forgive me, that I have destroyed humanity?" 

" Yes". 

" Why?"

" Because I love you unquestionably, and I'll stay loyal to you no matter what we go through."

" Is that your purpose Kaworu? Don't you want anything else?" 

" I want to make you happy". 

" But I'm already happy with you. Now, what will you do?" I...I don't know. My wish has already been fulfilled and I was so blind to notice it. I can't possibly think of anything else I desire. I just want to be there for you, I want to watch you grow...".

" I don't know Shinji. I have no other reason to keep on living...", Kaworu's eyes turned foggy." I'm so confused".

" If I die, will you kill yourself? Is that why you refuse to let me die? If I die, you're afraid of losing me because you have no one else to experience these feelings with. Do you even care about me?" Shinji rose from his spot, along with Kaworu.

" Shinji, your imperfections make you unique. I find you to be a very interesting and powerful person stuck in a shell. I just want to help you come out of your shell a bit. So please... don't push me away anymore. I love you...no one else but you. I'm just afraid of spending the rest of my time alone without feeling these warm and soft feelings again when you go...". 

" A made another mistake... I'm just confused as much as you are. I'm sorry Kaworu. It's late. Let's just go home, and get some rest". Kaworu nodded and they dusted themselves off from sand." I think I misplaced my gun back up the hill. I'll go get it", Kaworu said and he jogged up the flower hill that had exited the cove.


	10. Chapter 10

Kaworu wasn't surprised he had woken in the middle of the night once again. This had been the fifth time he kept woke this way. He didn't know why...he didn't have a sleeping disorder and he hasn't had any nightmares but he seems to always wake up at this time of night. He stared at the ceiling of the shelter blankly then got out of his bed in absolute tiredness." What is wrong with me? Why does this keep occurring?" Kaworu ran his hand through his silver hair and sighed roughly, then he left his room and entered the area his partner was resting. 

The moon has shown partly through the windows and made the white broken tiled floors glow. Kaworu stepped further near the window and looked up at the moon, then he gazed at Shinji, who was sleeping peacefully, the cover hiding part of his face. Kaworu slightly smiled." That's good. You're sleeping well. I'll try not to wake you". Kaworu then strolled over towards the screen door, slid it open slowly, and then stepped out sliding the door shut behind him silently. He stepped onto the damp forest floor, damp from the morning dew, and he sauntered around the dim rainforest.

These casual walks around the forest weren't new to Kaworu and he appeared to like it very much. The way he could hear all the creatures breathing softly and the nocturnal animals were maneuvering underneath the overgrowth." This is a pleasant place to be. A place where I can listen to my thoughts and work through". Kaworu gazed upon an old brown owl who was feeding it's young a split mouse." I love places that make you realize how tiny you and your problems are". He could also hear the roaring of the waterfall near their shelter. He sat near the pool of water that flowed from it and watched the water dazzle like diamonds from the moonlight.

" I think the hardest experience we all endure in life is moving on and letting go. I cannot let go of how many times you've slipped from my grasp and denied that I loved you. I remember the first time we crossed paths". A silverfish had emerged instantly from the water than flung back down, making a slight splash." I caught you looking at me and I swear those three heartbeats I spent looking into your blue eyes, I saw everything I have ever dreamed of. You are so special. There's nothing wrong with you...there's something wrong with this world. I can only wish for the best...that I can keep living this way with you. I hope you aren't sad when I go...I hope that my death is a lesson for you and inspires you to be stronger". 

A few hours had passed and Kaworu had decided to go skinny-dipping in the water. Although it was cold, Kaworu adjusted himself to the temperature. It was nice, swimming underneath the surface, soon enough, Kaworu had been swimming for so long that the sun was starting to rise. The sky turned into violet, then pink, then orange, furthermore it turned light blue and Kaworu had decided he had swum enough and changed back into his pajamas. While walking back, Kaworu spotted Shinji outside the shelter, he looked frantic." You woke up earlier than I expected".

" You're up bright and early once again. Good morning Shinji", Kaworu cooed, although Shinji had already started running over towards him." Don't go out in the middle of the night anymore! I was so worried! I...well...I looked in your room and-", Shinji had been panicking.

" Thank you for your concern. But I wouldn't disappear permanently without informing you Shinji".

" I know. It's just...I don't like being alone...I always say I'm fine, but I don't even understand if it's fine".

" Sometimes some Lilins are better off being alone. It's not that they're socially an outcast or that no one wants to be their friend... it's just that other souls seem to be an anchor for them...for the goals, they're trying to achieve. Some people just like being a loner because no one can slow them down."

" That's not the type of lonely I meant. I just wanted to wake up to you sitting at the table, the sunlight making your face glow...and you saying " good morning " to me like you always do".

" Then next time, I'll surprise you", Kaworu slightly chuckled. Shinji smiled brightly." Alright, let's go inside, it's getting colder". 

Shinji opened the screen door and Kaworu followed behind. Kaworu made his way over to the refrigerator, which was half empty but remaining goods were left." Ah! I completely forgot! Let's go hunting today!" Shinji beamed.

Kaworu reached in a small container in a broken cabinet and pulled out two packets of oatmeal." If it doesn't rain today, we'll go search", Kaworu said". He put the oatmeal in a pot of water then turned on the stove and let it cook. Afterward, he sat down on Shinji's bed along with him.

" Your hair is wet. Did you go swimming?" Shinji asked." His eyes are identical to a puppy's".

" Yeah, when it was still dark, I took a quick dip to refresh myself". 

" Won't you get a cold? It was freezing outside". 

" I'm used to the temperature. It's colder on the moon". 

"... I'm hoping for more good days like this. I wish the days lasted forever. Memories are just a reminder... nothing lasts forever". 

" But don't you want things to go back to normal?" 

" Well, does it mean I won't get to see you anymore?" Shinji asked he was a bit antsy now.

" Of course you get to see me. Maybe life can be resurrected in another way". Shinji had pulled his cassette player from underneath his pillow and put one earbud in, at that moment, Kaworu got up to check on the oatmeal. He put a spoon into the pot and started to stir. Shinji looked deep in thought about the song that was playing." What are you thinking about this time?" Kaworu asked, mixing the oatmeal.

" Oh...uh..", Shinji snapped back to reality." It's just when...we were dancing...I liked dancing with you".

" We can do it again whenever you like. I like dancing with you too". 

" Are we...are we going to be together forever?" Shinji asked.

" I'll try...to make that possible. But, I don't think I can keep any promises". Shinji frowned sadly." But I don't want you to leave me...I want to stay by your side forever!" 

Kaworu turned the stove off, and he turned to Shinji and stepped over towards Shinji and sat down beside him, their thighs brushed." We both know there will be a time where fate will take its place. Besides, you will always be my soulmate", Kaworu whispered, he grabbed both of Shinji's hands and held them in his together. Shinji smiled, but this was a special smile, he showed some of his teeth brightly. Kaworu managed to smile back and blushed a light pink." But...", Shinji started and he gulped nervously.

" Loosen up a bit Shinji. Everything will be okay. You shouldn't worry about what happens in the future and just enjoy the time we can spend together". 

" I'm just scared that something bad will happen to us. I can't stop thinking about it...it's... it's spinning in my head like it's a...well..", Shinji tried to think of what to say." Visions? Dreams?" 

" You're having fanciful notions about the future?" Kaworu spoke seriously, afterward he had got up and walked over to the pot of oatmeal and poured two bowls for both of them. They sat at the table after and started to talk." Well, I'm not sure. They started appearing a few days after the impact, I ignored them at first, but they've gotten more intense it seems", Shinji took a bite of his oatmeal. 

" Why didn't you inform me?" Kaworu stared at Shinji fiercely." Or is that you didn't want me to bother asking if you were okay?"

Shinji stared at his bowl of mush." Yes...".

" Tell me...what did you see?" 

" It's been the same dream ever since. It's always about Rei...and it's like she's trying to tell me something...then that's when the dream ends. I don't know why all of a sudden I started getting these messages from her, but the fact that what she's trying to tell me is involved with what lies ahead frightens me". 

" It would be rational to pay attention to these strange dreams of yours. Maybe they might be important when the time comes".

Shinji had finished his meal." What was school life for you like?" Kaworu randomly asked. Shinji was quite surprised by the question.

" It was just normal, nothing really bad happened to me and nothing exciting either. I refused to talk to anyone and everyone refused to talk to me. Although I had my other two friends Kensuke and Toji, something still didn't feel right". 

" Now that they aren't near you what are you going to do?" Kaworu's eyes flickered a bright red and Shinji slightly flinched in fear.

" Well, I have you...I don't need to worry about them anymore".

" So you don't care about your friends anymore?" Kaworu sneered." How cruel. That's even cruel for you Shinji". Shinji shifted in his seat uncomfortably." There are so many things you don't understand. You never realize you have everything until it's gone"." That is why you feel so pathetic. You make defective choices and even I can't blame you how you feel so weak and powerless around others. Even if they are your instincts everyone is created with common sense. Although, I will not give up on you". 

" How could you say that?" Shinji felt a sting in his chest.

" Apologies if I hurt your feelings, but this is only the truth. You cannot be stronger if you wish to stay in the past. That's why I'll guide you".

" You don't have to"." That'll take some time".

" I'm only doing this because I care about you. Without guidance, you will get lost". 

" How could you care but not care for my feelings?" You threw me off guard, even I don't know the answer to that question...wait a minute..".

" Isn't this what Lilins call tough love?" Kaworu set his spoon aside, he had finished his bowl. Shinji didn't respond and only shot Kaworu a glance full of confusion and resentment." I'm just saying you need to take responsibility for your actions. Furthermore, I don't believe I can always fix your mistakes". 

" I know", Shinji sighed." I made a horrible decision, but you said mistakes were apart of learning".

" They are, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're good. Mistakes are supposed to be an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. In total, mistakes are important morals and serve a purpose in life". 

Shinji looked a bit upset." I'll try...I'm sorry I let you down". 

" You haven't disappointed me Shinji. I just wanted to have this conversation with you, it seemed like the right time", Kaworu slowly moved his hand over Shinji's. Shinji appeared to have relaxed a bit. Afterward, they both put their bowls in the sink and washed them. Eventually, they were dressed in their average black suits, prepared to head out into the wilderness once again." We're...exploring again?" Shinji asked, a bit nervous.

" Yes, there are still areas we haven't discovered yet. We should go further beyond the forest", Kaworu said tightening up his suit. 

" That's a little risky". Shinji fumbled with the zipper of his backpack. 

" But I thought you wanted to go hunting". Kaworu eyed him. 

" Uh- yeah...what am I saying? I'm ready to go". The two had left after both of them packed their backpacks with the last supply of food they had. Shinji had brought the bow and arrows while Kaworu brought his trusty gun. While they were trekking through the bushes Shinji decided to speak after a prolonged silence." Will you teach me how to shoot a gun?" Shinji asked." I'm afraid of guns but I want to learn how to shoot one to protect others"." You're growing so fast".

" Of course, I'll teach you soon enough". Kaworu observed the scenery surrounding them. Today was a wonderful day, a day specifically for exploring. Hardly any animals had been spotted after they left, it was an extensive hike. Shinji took a giant gulp from his water bottle." I'm getting tired...", Shinji groaned from behind Kaworu. Kaworu glanced behind himself slightly, still concentrating on finding prey." Very well, we'll take a quick break", Kaworu sighed. Both of them sat propped up against a tree. Shinji was still drinking his water and watching birds in a tree and Kaworu decided to close his eyes for a while." What do you think happened to the other animals?" Shinji asked. 

" I'm assuming those wild dogs were near this location before. That's possibly why there is less game here".

†††

" Ugh...I didn't think we'd have to walk this far. My legs are still sore"." I forgot you weren't used to walking long distances yet". They walked across a fallen tree resting over a flowing river. The water was so clear, Kaworu could see the bottom. Small fish and tadpoles were visible as well, and it wasn't hard to spot any dragonflies or mosquitoes near." I don't think we've been around this region yet", Kaworu murmured, pointing his gun at a frog resting on a stone. Shinji almost slipped but Kaworu had grabbed his wrist quite forcefully and pulled. They made it to the end of the huge tree, and Kaworu sighed heavily." What's the matter? You're scared I was gonna fall?" Shinji grunted.

" Whatever you believe", Kaworu said, they kept walking along a marshy trail until the land became denser. Kaworu let his grasp on Shinji's wrist lightly." I'll let go, I don't want to hurt you". Kaworu let go of Shinji's wrist, and then it was silent once again. Until both of them noticed something far in the distance." What is that?" Shinji asked squinting his eyes to get a better look."A white crumbled building, shattered windows, broken through screen door...smeared red brands".

" It's another Nerv base. Hurry, let's take a look", Kaworu said and he quickened his pace. Shinji proceeded with Kaworu to the shelter similar to theirs and stepped through the broken screen door along with him. Kaworu was a bit shocked to see the shelter had completely been torn apart. The walls were mildewed and a bit brown. Plants had already started growing through the cracks in the walls and floors and the shards of glass were scattered everywhere." What a mess. I can only predict what had happened here", Kaworu said troubled." Well, I'll look around for replenishments", Shinji said instantly moving a busted bed aside.

" Watch out for the glass". 

" I'm aware", Shinji mumbled. While Kaworu was searching through an old backpack, he heard a scream from Shinji who was backed up against the wall now. The tangy scent of blood had already filled Kaworu's nostrils and he raised his head quickly. There were red smudged stains behind the bed, and red paw prints too." What the hell happened?!" Shinji shouted.

" Lower your voice. The blood still seems fresh so the creature who did this might be near". Kaworu walked over towards the scene and scanned it." The tracks are similar to one of those dogs but something still seems off for it to be a dog". 

" I remember what the paw prints looked like when I was on a beach. There are different from the dogs in some way".

" So there's another predator we have to worry about. Just our luck"." And we don't even know it's appearance". Kaworu ran his finger across the paw print and smears of blood. They were still fresh as a bit of blood was on Kaworu's finger now.

" This is distracting, let's keep searching", Shinji commanded in a stern tone. Kaworu was quite surprised Shinji was the one giving orders. Kaworu had already finished going through the backpack he had found. It was filled with tools, like hammers, wrenches, screwdrivers, and duck tape." Oh! A flashlight!" Kaworu pulled it out of the bag and pressed the button to turn it on. It flickered on, although it was dim since it was bright outside." Great", Shinji said. 

" Maybe there are batteries around here too", Kaworu said and set the flashlight down and turned the bag over, everything that was inside eventually fell out. There were also warm bottles of water and a smashed granola bar." It's not a lot but it'll be useful", Shinji said, trying to lift the refrigerator that had tumbled over. Kaworu nodded his head and stood up, helping Shinji lift the refrigerator upwards and position it correctly. Once they were finished, there was food inside that had spilled and spoiled. Shinji held his nose." Repulsive"." I thought we were hunting", Shinji vaguely complained.

" I know, I'm just curious what kind of stock this place has. By the looks of it, I'd say there are more buildings similar to this one and the one back home. If we kept searching, we'd be lucky and find another". Shinji only sighed and tried his best to pick through the unused fresh nourishments. They placed the supplies into the backpacks they had brought and got ready to leave when there wasn't anything else important to take. Kaworu walked outside first and breathed in the chilly breeze. There were distant rustles of leaves, he spotted the bushes shift. His muscles had tensed when two unfamiliar bodies had proceeded out." Other survivors? Rei....". A familiar face he had seen before had belonged to Rei, the other was another female he had never took notice of before." So she is alive". The unfamiliar face...the girl with bright blue eyes and auburn brown hair had approached him quickly, a fast walk...a full sprint.

She was holding a machete in one hand, and her other hand balled in a tight fist. As she was only a few meters away now, Kaworu threw off his backpack then braced to catch the girl's movement. She lifted the machete and with a graceful aim she struggled to kick Kaworu in the stomach. He grabbed her leg and didn't make a move, Kaworu let go eventually. When Shinji took notice, he ran outside on the cracked white steps of the Nerv shelter." Kaworu!" He shouted. Before the girl tried to press the machete into Kaworu's chest, they both struggled to kill and defend. She couldn't tell who it was, on the left side of her injured eye, but she recognized that wail from anywhere." Idiot Shinji!" She snarled." You know Shinji?" Kaworu eventually kicked her off and scrambled up to his feet and ran inside grabbing his gun and aiming it impressively at the girl who got up as well.

" A-Asuka...", Shinji's voice was whiny as ever." I remember that name. This must be Shinji's old classmate"." What are you doing here!? And who the hell is he?" She demanded.

Kaworu stopped aiming at her, but he still grasped his gun. Rei had stepped inside the Nerv base as well, now all 4 of them were staring at each other." I can't believe you're alive", Shinji said happily but he hesitated for a minute." This is Kaworu...". Shinji motioned his head over to Kaworu who only stared tensely at Asuka. They both approved of each other's position and smiled fiercely." Kaworu Nagisa", he smirked.

" Asuka Shikinami Langley", she raised her chin triumphantly. Kaworu held out a hand to shake and Asuka had grasped it quickly and tightly." How interesting"." Sorry, we had to get to bad terms Kaworu. But the commander's pet and I have been searching for a compass. When I saw you, I wanted to make sure no one got in my way ", she started putting her hand on her hip." Have you seen the compass by any chance?" 

" We haven't located one yet", Shinji spoke." Why are you looking for a compass anyway?" 

" Well, it's not like an average compass. It's high tech, it's gonna take us to a Shoreline facility". 

" Shoreline?" Shinji repeated. 

" Shoreline. It's a community of people across the world that approach countries and assist them in times of crisis. They come in airplanes, ships, or helicopters and bring food, medicine, other supplies, and sometimes weapons depending on the situation", Kaworu said.

" Exactly what he said", Asuka grunted.

" That's great! Maybe we can come with you guys!" Shinji said excitedly.

" Hell no!" Asuka snapped. 

" I'm sure they'd be good help", Rei spoke faintly, everyone looked at her.

" Pfft...as if. Me and the doll make an accurate team", Asuka sneered. 

" She's correct. With more power, we'd have a larger chance of survival. It's better off we stick together...unless...", Kaworu murmured. 

" Are you still working for Wille?" Shinji asked cautiously.

" Actually...the other girl I was with...Mari. We left...things were getting too serious and complicated for us. Well, Wille tried to kill us. I heard them say it out their goddamn mouths! " You are no longer needed Second Child and Eighth Child. After the tests are run, that'll be the last day you see light "...then we escaped early in the morning. Now, we're on the run", Asuka groaned. 

" Do you think they'll try to kill us too?" Shinji squeaked. 

" Anyone who can pilot the Evas will be slaughtered. They said if we pilot an Eva another impact will start and it seems Wille doesn't want that, so they're gonna hunt everyone down and kill them", Asuka spoke deeply." Anyway, you two live around here?" 

Kaworu nodded, Shinji as well." We live in a base exactly like this one. It's not too far from here either. Maybe we can meet up another time and join you two", Shinji smiled calmly.

" Right", Asuka gazed at Kaworu pleasantly then glared at Shinji discouragingly." First in the morning, the same place here. Be ready, I'll take both of you back to my place".

" We'll be waiting", Kaworu smiled." See you later". Asuka had waved goodbye and left the collapsing shelter quickly, Rei as well, trailing behind her.

" So, we're really going with them", Shinji gulped nervously.

" You seem troubled by it. What's the matter?" Kaworu grabbed his backpack and put it on.

" What if it's a trap?" Shinji dazed.

" I assure you it isn't a trap. Remember, I'm perceptive...I can tell if one is lying very quickly. Don't underestimate me Shinji". 

" Okay ", Shinji whispered and grabbed his now heavy backpack.

They left the shelter and had traveled back to their base safely and unharmed. It had also started to sprinkle when they had reached their home. Shinji and Kaworu were damp." Good grief...", Shinji groaned." I'm freezing". Kaworu set their backpacks on the kitchen table and went through them again. Along with the flashlight he had used on their way back. Shinji had started to take off his moist suit and set it aside on the floor. He put on a fresh pair of pajamas a gray long sleeve shirt and black shorts.

" You're going to sleep now?" Shinji asked sitting on his bed. Kaworu nodded." We need rest or we'll feel tired in the morning. I don't want to keep them waiting... Goodnight Shinji". 

" W-wait...nevermind. Goodnight, sleep well", Shinji tucked himself into bed and stationed his pillow comfortably. Kaworu watched him for a bit before he entered his room and closed his door silently.


	11. Chapter 11

The bright and warm beam of the sunshine had woke Shinji abruptly. He rose up slowly, sliding the covers off his back and getting up, stretching without a hurry. The coziness of the shelter had made him even more tired, and he flopped back on to his bed." I should wake Kaworu. I forgot we had to meet Asuka today ". Shinji yawned and finally got up from his bed, heading to the bathroom. When exiting, he hesitated to push Kaworu's door open, it was cracked. Finally, he put his fingertips up towards the door and gently pushed it open entering. Kaworu appeared asleep, wrapped in his covers. 

" Kaworu? Are you asleep?" He whispered. There was no response so he approached Kaworu's bed moderately." What am I doing?" Kaworu was resting quietly upon his bed, as Shinji had slithered himself in the coziness of the covers as well. Kaworu didn't budge, so Shinji inched closer. Their faces were apart and Kaworu seemed so calm and lovely while he slept Shinji submitted into moving closer. Soft and gentle breathing had breezed Shinji's face he wanted to yield to these strong attractive feelings. He was startled when small tears started to form in Kaworu's eyelids and slid down his face. He mumbled a few words, Shinji couldn't quite catch them." Is he... having a nightmare?" 

Shinji situated far from Kaworu's bed just staring down at him worriedly." If he's having a nightmare I should wake him up". Shinji reached his hand out to Kaworu and brushed his fingers lightly across his cheeks. Kaworu finally arose from his sleep, and blinked at Shinji tiredly." G-good morning", Shinji said. Kaworu lightly smiled and shifted the covers off of him and proceeded to rise from bed in distress." You were crying...in your sleep", Shinji mumbled.

Kaworu hardly had turned to look at him." Is that so? Well, for the first time in forever...I think I actually experienced what a nightmare is like". Shinji crawled across the bed and sat next to Kaworu on his side." It was horrible. I drowned in a bloody sea. It wasn't like LCL, it was slimy and heavy", Kaworu shuddered." It must've been petrifying"." It's nothing to worry about. We should go and meet Asuka while we can", Kaworu beamed." Inside, I know you're hurting". 

†††

Kaworu and Shinji had eventually gotten dressed, packed their belongings in their backpacks, and said their farewells to their home. That one crumbled Nerv shelter they spent their time together in, it brought wonderful memories and tied them closer. A special and strong bond. A bond that can't be broken so easily. 

As Kaworu and Shinji trekked through the forest, Kaworu made quick glances at the canopy once in a while. Although it was a gorgeous morning, he was looking at the sky warily. Shinji eventually noticed." What's the matter?" Shinji asked padding alongside Kaworu, their shoulders brushed gently." The clouds. It'll probably rain in a few hours. The atmosphere seems a bit humid as well", Kaworu answered observantly." You can predict the weather as well. You really are awesome".

" How heavy will it be?" 

" Oh, it'll be heavy", Kaworu's eyes glittered." Also, I don't remember the way back to the shelter that well. If we aren't careful, we'll end up lost"." That's not good. I should've been paying attention to our surroundings".

" It'll be alright," Shinji said kindly." If we're lucky we'll stumble on it". 

Kaworu still seemed troubled but he hummed pleasingly and they trudged through some thick undergrowth. As the sun showed through the canopy, it made Kaworu's hair turn a stunning honey color and Shinji only seemed to gaze in amazement upon Kaworu's beauty. His heart pounded if it continued he believed it burst out his chest. As Shinji watched Kaworu unconsciously, Kaworu had instantly met his stare and had a smug smile." Has something caught your eye?" Kaworu said self-satisfied.

" Oh- yeah well. This is awkward to say to a guy, but...you're really...pretty Kaworu", Shinji smiled nervously. 

" You're adorable as well Shinji", Kaworu giggled. All Shinji could do was think the opposite. He believed Kaworu was much more superior than him. As they were walking, Shinji had ventured into the memories he had experienced a while ago. It seemed that Kaworu and himself were walking forever, and Shinji started to daydream.

×××

It was a chilly dark night. The moon, that was smothered by the dark gray clouds had shown mysteriously. The small twinkles of light that shown above the tormented red Nerv HQ, had seemed to spread for decades. While the flowers and overgrowth in the sinking building blew gently in the breeze, Shinji gazed up at the stars, his blue eyes reflecting the pretty image similar to a mirror." I wonder...". Shinji had sat up and stared hopefully at the ledge that lay before his eyes. He languidly stepped over to it and looked down. It was a huge fall, it would be tragic if he slipped off. As he peeked down, he slowly sat down on the ledge passively."...what happens after this...?" Shinji's legs dangled over the edge loosely, but it was strange, he didn't feel as afraid as he believed."...will I be too afraid to let go...?" A large gust of wind blew his direction and he shivered in the icy blow."...or when I let go...it'll all be over..". Shinji shook his head and stood up unsteadily. Although it might've been the best choice to get out this troublesome situation he was in, he was curious about how much had changed in his slumber. As he heard faint footsteps in the distant, a large blow of air hit him hard, and he stumbled forward, his heart had skipped a beat, and he felt like it was already over. What scared him more, was the loud paces that we're edging closer to him, two warm, soft hands had grabbed him before he could fall all the way. 

" You should be careful. It gets really windy up here", a gentle voice hummed in his ear. Shinji had recognized that sweet tone from anywhere."... Kaworu".

" I only wanted to see what it looked like...outside...at night", Shinji muttered while Kaworu pulled him up to his feet, Shinji shook him off.

" It appeared to me you were gonna jump off. I got scared for a minute". 

" I was...but changed my mind. How pathetic, I'm even afraid of death itself".

" I'm glad you chose not to. You have a bright future ahead of you, aren't you aware of that?" A small breeze made Kaworu's hair flutter.

Shinji seemed even more upset by the thought. He bit back his tongue, he knew he shouldn't snap at Kaworu. Kaworu was the only one who was willing to listen to him release his complaints about himself and the world. He clenched his fist so hard, that he felt like his hand could burst with scarlet liquid.

" I'm so lonely! And no one understands me! Truth is, I just think everyone wants to hurt me!" Shinji shouted with fury." Step after step I was searching for sunshine, searching for hope, but I don't have any left! I lay in bed, for hours, thinking where I went wrong! I don't blame anyone, I did this to myself! Everything is my fault and I hate myself! I wish things could go back to how they used to be...". Tears started to will from his eyes. As he wiped them roughly, Kaworu attempted to hold hands with Shinji, who refused and shoved him away. Although he was trying to escape back to his room, he stumbled against and a wall, and Kaworu approached him once more. 

" Despite the fact you think otherwise, this world needs you. I need you. Don't just exist, live. Because the heart is so sensitive to pain, humans also feel that to live is to suffer. That's why you tried taking your life away"." That doesn't change anything! You still don't understand!"." Listen, you're not the only one who's afraid. But are you really going to spend the rest of your life in fear?" Kaworu asked sternly. Shinji didn't answer, he cried silently.

" Is that better?" Kaworu had slithered his hand into Shinji's who didn't budge anymore and did appear to relax. Shinji's sniffles continued, but there were no more tears to discharge. 

" Your value is not based on what others think of you. A Lilin's soul is priceless", Kaworu whispered." If you're constantly trying to prove your worth, you have already forgotten your value. How people treat you, is how they feel about you. You are never going to be perfect in other's eyes. Stop trying, stop attempting, stop stressing". 

Shinji finally rose his chin up, and he looked at Kaworu with shiny and frightened eyes." Don't you feel lonely living in your own little world?" Shinji asked.

" Don't you feel powerless living in other people's worlds?" Kaworu responded. Shinji shut his watery eyes again and looked away." You're always closing your eyes like it hurts to look at things. Just look at me. Communicate with me. I want to understand you and help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong". Shinji grasped Kaworu's hand firmly, Kaworu simply released his hand after a few seconds." You should get some rest Shinji", he whispered." You seem... really tense".

" Y...yeah...I'm really tired", Shinji groaned. He raised his head and met Kaworu's kind smile." Do you mind walking me to my room?" 

" Of course", Kaworu nodded. 

They walked down the crumbling and collapsing hallway that led to Shinji's room." I wonder where Kaworu's room is". Kaworu had soon guided Shinji to his room. While Shinji entered his room, he halted and turned around to face Kaworu. Kaworu leaned suggestively in the doorway." It was fun today. Thank you", Kaworu said with a soft smile. 

"Yeah, let's play together again soon".

" I'll see you tomorrow then Shinji", Kaworu said and he attempted to walk away." Uh, wait!" Shinji shouted. Kaworu paused and gazed at him. 

" Er...Kaworu... I'm probably asking too much, but...can you talk to me, until I fall asleep?" Kaworu smiled pleasantly." It's just that...I haven't gotten used to sleeping in here and-". Kaworu stepped forward into Shinji's room, the door shut afterward.

It was dark, Shinji could only see the silhouette of Kaworu who sat at the foot of his bed, one leg crossed over the other. To a slight extent, Shinji lifted his head to peek at Kaworu, who surveyed him with interest. Despite how dark it appeared, Shinji could see Kaworu's red eyes perfectly." Kaworu has such pretty eyes... what's wrong with me? Kaworu isn't a girl". Then, an image of Rei had flashed in his mind, he realized it now." He has similar eyes to Rei, I wonder. Maybe they're related...".

" Shinji, why were outside at a time like this?" Kaworu broke the silence.

" It's not like anyone told me to stay put in my room. I also got lost...Why were you out there?" Shinji turned over and faced the wall.

" Just taking a stroll. I happened to find you walking around on my way back".

" You know...I don't really like being in this room. I didn't want to go back". Shinji stared at the wall blankly." I feel like I'm always being watched so I can't relax".

" But if you don't rest, you'll feel worse", Kaworu spoke considerately.

" I know that...but...". 

" You're so kind Kaworu. You don't force me, or tell me to do this, and to not do that. You always give me time to think. As for Misato and Asuka too...everyone's changed. But, no one's listened to what I have to say".

" It's because they are living with all their might. Everyone is desperate, that's why they harbor those feelings towards you".

It was silent again. Kaworu shifted and propped himself against the wall." Where do you want to go? Where do you want to go, when there's no purpose to be here anymore?" Kaworu asked. 

" Far, far away....", Shinji whispered, he dug himself into his pillow in a gentle manner.

" Are you trying to run away from your father?" 

" What? No!- I don't know", Shinji groaned. 

" We ignore truth for temporary happiness. Fake happiness is true sadness". 

" I can't help it...he's not a father to me at all! I never liked or wanted to be sad".

" But you're still afraid of what comes after. You rather run away then be hurt. The more wounds you have, the stronger you become", Kaworu spoke in a hushed expression." Whatever it is you're going through, I can assure you that you'll overcome it. Not everyone enjoys being sad over the past, but it's only a feeling. Just a phase that everyone goes through".

"..Kaworu, even though I've made a lot of mistakes, meeting you will never be one of them. Thank you", Shinji murmured, he shut his eyes slowly and dug into his pillow.

A few moments passed and Kaworu sat up from his resting posture. Believing Shinji was asleep, he wandered over to Shinji's side, pulling the covers over him. Shinji somewhat moved in his sleep but didn't wake. Kaworu smiled calmly and stroked Shinji's head with his hand gently. He left thereafter and the room continued to stay reserved. 

×××

When Shinji tripped over a tree root, that was the only aspect to make him come to reasoning from his memories." Hm?" Kaworu veered around to face Shinji.

" Um- nothing...I tripped!" Shinji said startled. Kaworu paused for a moment and admired a waterfall and a high mountain close by. Shinji stepped next to him to get a better look." It's gorgeous", Kaworu commented. Shinji stared at the beautiful scenery." Yeah", he said. 

" Let's climb it". 

Shinji looked at Kaworu instantly." Wait. What about Asuka and Rei?" He asked.

" It'll only be a quick hike", Kaworu said. 

Shinji groaned. He wasn't so sure, it was very likely they could get lost or left if they took too long." Alright...", Shinji sighed. Although Shinji was only hiding the obvious that he didn't feel like walking up the steep mountain. 

†††

Shinji lowered himself down the last few steps of jagged rock and began pacing after Kaworu who was staring up at the cloudy sapphire sky and grinned happily." Ugh...I'm all sore and sweaty". Shinji realized it was worth climbing the mountain to get the pretty view of the rainforest and Shinji picked his way next to Kaworu." Shinji? Do you remember when we were in the ruined Nerv headquarters?" Kaworu asked.

"Of course I do". 

" We were in your room one night, and I asked you where you wanted to go-", Kaworu began.

" I want to go somewhere far away from everyone", Shinji spoke harshly." A place where no one could bother us". Kaworu looked at him thoughtfully." We should have a drink", he said calmly. 

"Ah yeah!" The short, but rough hike up the mountain had tired Shinji. He was exhausted and hot and needed refreshment. Kaworu and Shinji dug in their backpacks for bottled water, luckily, it was still cold. Kaworu turned it open and took a few sips while Shinji had already drunk half the bottle." You were thirsty. Tell me if I'm working you too much", Kaworu took the bottle away from his mouth for air. 

"Working me too much?" Shinji repeated, hurt by Kaworu underestimating him.

" I didn't mean it like that", Kaworu addressed." It's just that you look like you're ready to drop out".

" Well yeah...you made me walk up here. It's not like I wanted to, but the view is nice". 

Kaworu lightly laughed." I thought you might like it up here. It's sorta brisk, but the forest is so satisfying to gaze upon".

The wind blew a patch of grass, and small brittle flowers, and Shinji stared at it intently." Hey, what are you looking at", Kaworu asked looking at Shinji until he noticed the lovely patch of grass and flowers." Flowers? You like them?" 

" Huh? Oh um...", Shinji thought of what to say." It's not that that I really like them or anything. It's just...to me these flowers seem so strong. Being able to grow from a small crack like this". As soon as Shinji finished, Kaworu slid past him and crouched to look at the little flowers. They're cheeks brushed, Shinji's heart pounded." I agree", Kaworu said softly." Just trying to live and never giving them up. No matter what the circumstance. I think that part of them is beautiful as well".

" You know...", Shinji spoke, it made Kaworu halt to touch the flowers." This kind of stuff is really uh...it's really girly, so... I feel a bit weird talking about it now". 

" Does that mean you don't like it?" 

" That's not what I meant!"

" You're saying that if one of us was a girl, there wouldn't be a problem?"

" I just meant that men don't usually talk about flowers...". 

Kaworu looked a bit irritated." I can't believe how society has formed itself. It's just a little flower". 

As Shinji had approached to touch the little thing, Kaworu had reached as well. They're hands sync, they touched together by accident. While Shinji nervously tried to pull his hand away, Kaworu grabbed his wrist and they held hands gently. This soon ended when a group of clouds had rolled in, smothering the sky, the sun. A glassy mist approached and doused the forest and the atmosphere smelled muggy. Kaworu examined the pale sky above and frowned disappointedly." Well, this is contemptible", Kaworu grunted. 

" Is it going to rain?" Shinji asked. The air felt heavy and damp now.

" I believe so. We should've searched for the other shelter like we were supposed to. I'll only hope that the rain isn't heavy". There was a small cave in the mountain. It was pitch black inside, which made Shinji hesitant entering it. Kaworu didn't seem to take any notice of it, although he might've, he appeared like he thought the cave wasn't suitable enough. 

There was a cliff and another section of a mountain that led down a muddy slope. Shinji observed it. There were vines surrounding and wrapped around the large sections of rock that shaped the mountain. Kaworu finally spoke, as soon as light raindrops had hit the bridge of his nose." Let's go. Before the rain gets heavier". Shinji nodded and grabbed his half-drenched backpack. He left the empty water bottle that lay near the ridge of the cliff and walked near Kaworu who had paused unexpectedly.

" Do you hear that?" He asked. The mild now rough raindrops that were dousing them made it hard to hear each others' speech, but Shinji understood enough." Hear what?" He asked loudly, he seemed a bit uneasy. In the distance, it sounded more clear. Multiple steps, they sounded hard and grew louder every step. Shinji's face started to burn, he was tense and troubled. There were many explanations of what could be heading their way.

The paces sounded like they were coming from where Shinji and Kaworu had entered which seemed even more apprehensive. Before Kaworu could shift his body and move over to the edge of where the other overhang had begun, there they were before them. Big, sleek, wet blue fur. Narrow and huge deep black eyes. Odd-looking and nasty slobbery mouths. Those wild dogs had stood before them, already appearing to be finished looking for a course meal. Kaworu had quickly maneuvered his hands into his backpack and pulled out his gun. When he tried reloading it, the gun jammed and Shinji could've sworn Kaworu cussed under his breath. 

" Shinji-", Kaworu whispered grimly. One dog had begun padding closer to both of them, Shinji stepped backward, one foot almost slipping down the edge of the cropped mountain. There were about 7 dogs, some of them were barking fiercely in the back of the intercept, while 3 were slowly creeping closer." I'm sure you've noticed, but the cliff behind us. You must jump over to it for safety", Kaworu finished.

" Wait, but what about you?" Shinji asked concerned.

" Do not worry about me. I'll be right behind you". 

" No way! I'm not leaving you!" Shinji dropped his backpack." Plus, I can't even jump that far". 

" Fine, but please promise me, as soon as I reach the overhang you'll jump". 

" I promise ".

Kaworu blinked understanding and he walked over to the limit of the ground and simply leaped over to the other side. He slipped at first but pulled himself up quickly. When he had finished, he held out a hand, long enough for Shinji to reach and that was the signal to jump. The dogs seemed to advance their way closer, so close it seemed on the hostile canines were about to lunge at Shinji." Jump!" Kaworu shouted from afar. Pressured and scared, Shinji obediently leaped, although it wasn't good enough. 

Shinji tried grasping Kaworu's hand, but their fingertips brushed and Kaworu's heart sank onto the floor. While milliseconds were running out quickly, Kaworu reached for a vine, and swung down bravely, catching Shinji in his arms. Kaworu hung on desperately. Shinji held Kaworu tightly. Although it was raining hard, Shinji was sobbing in Kaworu's chest. While holding Shinji in one arm, and grasping for life with the other. Kaworu reached his head and kissed Shinji's forehead." Do you remember what I had said?" Kaworu asked, his tone so calm, gentle, and soothing despite the situation both of them were in." What I had promised? Whenever you fall, I will always catch you. I will never break that promise until I die". 

The rain felt so hushed at that moment. Shinji lifted his face, his cheek smothered with mud. Kaworu and Shinji butted heads affectionately." I...love you Kaworu...".


	12. Chapter 12

†††

Shinji stalked next to Kaworu tiredly. It had already begun to rain harder than when they were on the mountain. Now stuck in the middle of a storm, with no resource of heat than themselves, Shinji became miserable." A-are we lost?" Shinji asked." We most likely are. It'd be a miracle if we happen to find the other shelter", Kaworu shivered. Thunder had boomed heavily and Shinji gazed up an active dark grey sky." 1...2...3...". Another rumble of thunder occurred and Shinji finally realized." The thunder grew louder. Must be 3 miles away", Shinji commented. It seemed like Kaworu had already noticed since he staid silent. 

When they reached a deep and marshy clearing, Kaworu was a bit hesitant in entering." Should we go around?" Shinji asked. It was likely they'd get stuck, so Kaworu nodded and they found a detour of thorn bushes, but it seemed like the best option. After stumbling through tangled creepers and slippery overgrowth, Kaworu and Shinji had surprisingly discovered the Nerv shelter they've been longing to find. Excited and relieved already, Shinji paced ahead of Kaworu and entered the shabby haven. 

While Kaworu was slow making an entrance, Shinji tried his best to maneuver around the shelter without stepping or bumping into something. Making wet tracks behind him, Shinji resorted to the old smelly sheets of the broken bed to dry him. Kaworu tailed after him, grabbing a musty cover and proceeding to dry himself." Maybe Asuka and Rei never came", Shinji blurted out. Kaworu turned to him, drying his hair and throwing the cover somewhere else on the floor." I'm sure they got lost in the storm as well", Kaworu reassured." Probably so...I should stop worrying". 

The strong smell of the decaying body in the room bothered Shinji very much. It was also appearing to get dark and soon enough it was night. The moon still wasn't visible which made Shinji uncomfortable even more. While both of them were sitting on the uneasy bed, more or less, Kaworu was resting, Shinji moved closer, resting his head on Kaworu's lap and listening to the heavy patters of rain. 

Shinji was satisfied when he felt Kaworu's hand slide through his and caress his cheek. Despite the fact that Kaworu and himself had been soaked in the rain, Kaworu's hand was surprisingly warm." Shinji, change position a bit. I want to lay down", Kaworu whispered. Shinji relocated himself to make room for Kaworu who laid behind him." Yikes! It's freezing!" Kaworu moved his hand above Shinji's hip who casually lay still. Although he was embarrassed, face already flushed, he just laid still." Shinji? Are you cold? That's troublesome. I wouldn't want you to get hypothermia", Kaworu said." Actually Kaworu you are right. We've been out in the rain for half an hour. It's possible we might get sick"." Well yes", Shinji whispered."...but, not that cold. I'll be fine". 

Lightning clashed with a tree causing a branch to collapse into a large puddle and make it splash. Although, it really seemed the rain was getting lighter. As the small gusts of wind blew through the burst windows and busted door, Kaworu had drawn closer to Shinji to where his chest was pressed against Shinji's back and Shinji shivered by how cold it was." I guess this is okay. Kaworu's only cold...". Then, Kaworu had moved his head past Shinji's shoulder, and his breathe made Shinji's neck hair tingle." I wonder if he's even sleeping". Eventually, Kaworu's hands had found it's way to Shinji's stomach. His touch was so gentle, it was a miracle that it made him hot. 

But, this sort of affection made Shinji feel good as well. Shinji raised his head slightly, so now both Shinji and Kaworu's faces were leveled. Shinji's lips were inches away from Kaworu's cheek who appeared to be fast asleep. Despite the dirty rain smell, Kaworu smelled wonderful." Such a sweet... pleasant scent...I hope it'll make me have good dreams". Shinji maneuvered himself around to face Kaworu. Afterward, he closed his eyes and entered a deep pleasant slumber. 

†††

Shinji woke from the slight movement of Kaworu stirring. With the heavy scent of rain filling his nostrils, he got out the crooked bed in disgust and groaned tiredly. Kaworu crawled out as well and stretched his sore muscles. Suddenly, and surprisingly, Asuka and Rei trailing behind had followed entered the shelter. It was also strange that Asuka appeared to be in a pleasant mood, and Rei still distant always. 

" Oh, Asuka. Sorry, we kept you waiting. We were on our way but we got-", Asuka interrupted Shinji. 

" Yeah yeah whatever", Asuka blabbered. While she stepped inside, she realized it had smelled awful." Ugh! What is that fowl order!?"

" It appears that we had gotten soaked in the rain", Kaworu spoke up. Asuka turned her attention to both of them, preferably Kaworu." Right! Both of you smell like a wet dog!" Asuka shouted. She approached Kaworu in a viscous demeanor but Kaworu didn't seem bothered or phased." And you! When we get back to my place, you're taking a shower!" Asuka pointed her finger in the center of Kaworu's chest, gazing up at him fiercely. Although, Kaworu only seemed more amused and playfully responded." Whatever you say Asuka". 

His response had threw Asuka so off guard she almost flushed and aggressively had stomped out the shelter. Rei had stepped forward to speak." Shall we leave?" She asked quietly. Shinji nodded and Kaworu as well. Soon after, everyone was trekking through the marshy forest." Hey Asuka? Why didn't you come yesterday to meet us?" Shinji asked.

" Isn't it obvious? Pfft...even a moron like you wouldn't have realized it. It was because of the storm. It was too heavy to travel here", Asuka grunted." I guess that makes sense". There was an awkward silence for a while before Kaworu paced closely to Asuka who looked a bit uneasy by his presence.

" What does this shelter of yours look like?" Kaworu asked charmingly. Shinji, a bit jealous by how well Kaworu and Asuka were getting along, trekked close enough to eat hustle their conversation." W-well, it's really big. There are three bedrooms, Mari and I are sharing one, then there's the other room for Rei and...a room that hasn't been taken yet", Asuka stumbled." There's also a big kitchen, a few bathrooms, and the place seems untouched".

" That sounds brilliant!" Kaworu beamed happily. 

Asuka smiled slightly as well." Hm. Well, we're not staying for long. You know, because of Wille and all".

" What will happen when we meet Shoreline?" Shinji asks curiously.

" While I hate having to rely on anyone, we'll be kept somewhere safe and served a warm meal probably. That's the rumor I heard", Asuka said shrugging her shoulders. Everyone climbed over a crushed white car, there seemed to be passengers inside as well, but they had already met their demise." But what will happen after? Will we stay there forever? What if Nerv finds us? What if we never find this compass? So many questions...". 

It seemed the forest started to edge off into a valley blooming with small yellow dandelions, and Asuka appeared to be in a more confident mood as well. The base must've been near. They exited down a slope full of overgrowth that led to an overpass which was a rusty red train track. Then, in all it's beauty, there it was, the other Nerv foundation. It looked more modern than the one Kaworu and Shinji had lived in. 

It appeared to be stable, newly built, just a few vines growing around the structure. The windows were a bit foggy, but still clear and there was a sliding door, which means technology and electricity seemed to work here as well. It was tall, seemed to be two levels, which also meant there were in fact stairs. 

Asuka quickened her pace and slid the glass door open roughly. Everyone had entered inside, and unexpectedly there was a pleasant aroma waiting inside. Shinji studied the interior and design of the building. There were exactly stairs in the far back of the room, indeed there was a kitchen, Shinji could also see the door of a bedroom. In the kitchen, Shinji noticed a familiar face. It was Mari, she appeared to be cooking a meal which explains why it smells good in here. 

But what bothered Shinji was that she seemed to be injured in her right leg since she was wearing crutches. 

When Mari noticed everyone was present, she turned around steadily and smiled brightly. At first, she was a bit shocked, gaping at Kaworu who had appeared to show the same expressions." Ah right", Mari sighed adjusting her glasses." I had forgotten you went to retrieve them". 

" You're Mari right?" Shinji asked, a bit confused. He swore he's seen her before. From the battle, they had at Central Dogma, and another time before that. Mari nodded." And that voice...and the smell seems familiar from anywhere. Shinji...".

†††

After a few hours had passed, everyone seemed to have gotten comfortable. Mari had brought out a map of Tokyo-3, well, before the fourth impact, and everyone had discussed what had occurred and what had happened to the Earth. Everyone had been assigned important roles as well, Asuka claiming she was the one in charge. Rei was in charge of cleaning, making sure electricity was working, food supplies and water shortages were in line. Asuka stated she and Kaworu would be responsible for bringing back food and water and other resources they could find which already showed favoritism among all of them. Since Mari isn't able to move around as much, Shinji had taken her duties. Shinji patrols around the area of their arm, just on the lookout for anything important or even Wille. 

Although Mari was disabled for a while, she was still able to do average duties around the house. Mostly cooking or preparing meals, but she also had a stash of weapons underneath her and Asuka's bed. Mostly guns. Some were found scattered around the forest and others were stolen from Wille. 

Meanwhile, everyone had been enjoying themselves outside the base. Rei had been crouched down in her own space, staring intimately at a clear pond. Mosquitoes and flies zoomed past and around Rei, but because of her disoriented personality, she didn't seem bothered. She grabbed a twig slowly and poked a frog as it hopped quickly and sprang into the overgrowth. Amused by the frog, Rei set the twig down into the water and paced after the frog into the forest. 

For the past 20 minutes, Asuka and Kaworu had been practicing sword fighting, although they weren't real swords, just metal rods, the battle seemed electric. Asuka dove for Kaworu, a big and vicious leap, although, it didn't seem to stop Kaworu from defense at all. He struck Asuka's rod hard, causing the momentum to cause the rod to vibrate making Asuka's grip loosen. Asuka swung again, and Kaworu dodged, sliding underneath the swing and hitting her rod again. Asuka furious that she hasn't hit Kaworu, she repeatedly aimed for him, but no matter how fast she swung, Kaworu seemed to predict her rapid movements and dodged. 

Shinji watched from beside a tree, he was munching on an apple." It's just amazing. How they both continue to spar with each other...and it looks like Kaworu is winning! I wish I had some experience, it seems fun, I wanna battle Kaworu...I want to impress him". Suddenly, Asuka had struck Kaworu's rod and it went flying landing on the grass. Kaworu watched it and quickly turned to Asuka who now had a frightening smile on her face, approaching him." I've got you now!" She yelled. 

Asuka was determined to hit Kaworu. Kaworu didn't exactly show any sign of fear and only prepared his next move." He's so strategic". Asuka began to strike her rod down, but Kaworu had grabbed it spontaneously. Anger surged through Asuka, but she was shocked when Kaworu lightly pulled the rod from her hands and booped her nose. She fell backward, landing on her bottom awkwardly." You fell over, I win", Kaworu giggled. Asuka's cheeks slightly tinted pink and she got back on her feet." I obviously let you win, you didn't have your rod so it wasn't fair! But next time I'm not holding back!" Obviously flushed, Asuka protested and cursed at Kaworu who only seemed entertained by her fury.

Jealousy filled in Shinji's stomach as he continued to nibble his apple and stared at Kaworu secretly." Since when did Asuka and Kaworu get so close? Kaworu hasn't spoken to me since we've gotten here...". He dropped the core of the apple onto the grass and began to progress over towards the two." Hey Kaworu! You were great! How'd you learn sword fighting!? You were so cool!" Shinji shouted excitedly. 

" Swordsmanship? I happened to be a fast learner and imitated what I saw on the television", Kaworu responded.

" Can you teach me?" Shinji asked. 

Asuka eyed him fiercely." Idiot-Shinji, so desperate to learn sword fighting only to excite Kaworu. Don't you ever seem to do things for yourself? You haven't changed, not one bit!" Although her words seem rather harsh, Asuka was telling the truth. Shinji didn't want to learn sword fighting just so he could defend himself or his friends, but only to grab Kaworu's attention and admiration.

ྉྉྉ

About to retaliate to Asuka's scornful comments, Mari had called Shinji over about his duties from inside the base, and obediently he hurried over. Asuka glared as Shinji rushed off, then she turned her attention back to Kaworu." It seems Idiot-Shinji is about to patrol the border, we should survey the valley as well, we might find something", Asuka advised.

Kaworu nodded." That sounds accurate". But, there was also something else pestering him." Although Shinji may make a lot of mistakes Asuka, he's efficient in learning new things. I believe he'd make a prodigious apprentice. Would you mind mentoring him? You appear to know him better than me since you're only...childhood friends".

" Let me think about it. Just the sight of that airhead gets on my nerves!" Asuka boomed. 

" Then why'd you accept him to come along if he annoys you so much?" Kaworu asked concerned, mostly defending Shinji's rights. 

" Ah- well...". Asuka shuffled her feet nervously.

" If Shinji isn't welcomed then he and I won't be staying much longer". 

" Alright alright. You don't have to get so serious. Look, I just think he's difficult and helpless, I never said I didn't want to help the guy", Asuka breathed. 

" That's great! Thank you!" Kaworu smiled happily.

Asuka shared the smile as well." Also Kaworu, why'd you ask me to mentor Idiot-Shinji all of a sudden?" 

" I don't think I'll be able to live alongside Shinji forever. That's why I put my faith into you, please make him happy, he's been through too much trouble", Kaworu had grasped Asuka's hands in between his.

" Of course, I promise. When you leave this Earth, I'll try to make sure nothing bad happens to him", Asuka nodded.

Kaworu and Asuka gazed at each other. It seemed a fierce bond had formed between the two.

Kaworu let go of Asuka's hands and Asuka watched as Shinji and disappeared past some bushes." Let's go now, Shinji's already left".

" Mm". Kaworu agreed and before leaving they were offered guns by Mari. 

†††

Traveling was hard labor and it felt even worse pacing around in the sun. Kaworu's muscles were aching, and sweat soaking his face. The suit he was wearing was obviously black and absorbed even more heat. Asuka seemed tired as well. She staggered a bit, Kaworu glanced at her concerned." Do you need a break?" He asked. Kaworu handed her a canister of ice-cold water that he had brought along the trip. Asuka eventually took it since she was dehydrated.

" Heh, don't use me as an excuse why you're tired", Asuka huffed taking a gulp from the canister. Sweat was forming at her temple, and her face was clearly distressed." Oh, I had drunk out of that. I assumed she would waterfall. I guess it'd be better off not telling her".

" Well, I wouldn't consider walking any longer...it's not healthy for your body", Kaworu responded bluntly. For half an hour, they had been trekking through the red LCL stained valley and had grown dead beat. There was a place of beautiful wildflowers and tall palm trees that Kaworu seemed interested in resting at. He quickened his steps, following the sandy and red-stained trail that led to it. Shocked by Kaworu's separation, in the end, Asuka chose to follow him, only curious to know more information about him. 

The scenery was beautiful in the new area of wildlife. A mouse had dashed in front of Kaworu as he continued to step onto the fresh green blades of grass." This place is so satisfying to gape at. Filled with fresh air, plants, animals seem to run freely around". 

Sooner or later, Kaworu had been laying down on a warm patch of grass. Asuka had been playing with her fingers, sitting on a decaying log. Sometimes she glanced at Kaworu, just confused at his relaxed and settled nature. Kaworu seemed to be enjoying himself a lot." Kaworu?" Asuka uttered suddenly. 

Kaworu popped one eye open.

" What are you to Shinji?" Asuka asked." I mean...are you even his friend? You seem really close to him...and Shinji likes you a lot". 

" Shinji refers to me as his " special friend ". I don't believe he's put anyone in that rank of status except me, so I feel honored". 

" Hm". 

" Aren't you gonna get upset?" Kaworu asked.

" About what?"

" I'm not doing my duties like I was ordered to", Kaworu caustically spoke.

" Eh", Asuka shrugged." You get a pass. You're kinda charming". 

" So, I get a pass because I'm good-looking?" Kaworu laughed.

" Hehe. You're the only one who seems to get me out of my bitchy mood. I like you". 

" Well, I wouldn't say your feisty attitude wasn't appealing in some ways. It reminds me of Shinji...he gets so defensive, it's enjoyable", Kaworu turned over and laid on his back, staring up at the canopy.

" Ugh! Don't get me started on Idiot-Shinji!" Asuka groaned, then she corrected herself.

" Why do keep calling him that burdening name?" 

" Because he is an idiot! Causing two impacts and wiping out humanity! Most of this crap is his fault!"

" Now I understand why you despise him so much. Even though I dislike gossip, aren't you aware Shinji has difficulties making choices of his own?" 

Asuka gazed at Kaworu silently, she wasn't familiar with that fact.

" He caused the Fourth Impact only to redo his mistakes for everyone, specifically me, challenging to change himself, when all along he's letting others change him". 

" Am I too hard on him?" Asuka sighed, trying to realize her flaws.

" He told me you yell at him for no reason. At first, I believed it, but you only seem to scorn him when he does something faulty...in your own little way. I just don't think Shinji understands how affective his actions can be on others". 

" Don't you just want to yell at him?"

" I would never".

" I know that, but don't you want to?"

" I guess there are times where everyone goes to the limit. Shinji is a bit stressful but I would risk it all to see him improve himself". 

" You spoil him too much".

" I do. But it's worth getting his admiration in return". Kaworu slipped out a giggle. Kaworu rose from his peaceful slumber and dusted off the grass and small insects off his grimy black suit. Asuka watched him and assumed they were getting prepared to progress their duties.

" Do you mind if I check up on Shinji, I'm sure he's located somewhere around the area?" Kaworu asked, which made Asuka at loss of thought.

" I'm sure he'll be fine on his own", Asuka gestured her hand like she was swatting a fly. 

" I assure you it's never fine". 

" It would've been nice to get to know each other better, but go ahead...", Asuka huffed resentfully. 

Kaworu shot a pleasant glance before he departed himself from his ally and descended into a community of vegetation and...mosquitoes. He was certain to find Shinji somewhere among the overgrowth and creepers of the Amazon. Asuka and he hadn't traveled that far, just through a long red valley of dried LCL and he sorta felt guilty leaving her by herself. 

The rainforest Asuka and Kaworu had been situated at had bordered off into a collapsing city which seemed a bit easily recognizable. It must've been the torment of Tokyo-2. Some buildings were smothered by crimson, but some were also starting to peel off most buildings which were fascinating to Kaworu. He stumbled upon a large body of water, some buildings had been submerged in it, and moss and weeds had sprouted near it. The water was clear and pretty like most of the sources he spotted around here. 

He watched as the water rippled, carrying scraps and leaves with it. It showed his reflection, silver feathery fluffy hair, piercing sharp scarlet red eyes, fairly pale and soft skin. Uncommon features, but that's what made him himself. It was startling how quick he was able to release tiny droplets from his eyes. Confused, he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and looked at his reflection again. 

It was strange how Kaworu had actually thought about what his parent's appearance must've been. Maybe that's why he was crying. Such a horrible human emotion to feel. That's what he resented about humans, the substances of some sensations were unexplainable. And he also has to live with a fact that he's been lonely and miserable all his life until now. Only until he gets put into this situation where he has to pilot the Eva for the sake of humanity. For the sake of his purpose. For the sake of Shinji's happiness. How human he is, crying at the slightest glimpse of his own face. Soon enough, his breakdown was put to an end when he heard scrambling around a collection of crumbled buildings and sprouting undergrowth. 

A bit interested in who it could possibly be, he approached the top of demolished structures. His reckless footsteps had caused bricks to fall from one building and some seagulls which were perched near him flew away. He blinked inquisitively at Shinji, who was wearing a backpack that must've been filled up. There was also his walkman in one hand and the other a machete, specifically the one Asuka had on their first encounter. 

Before long, Shinji had realized Kaworu had been staring at him." Oh, Kaworu! How long have you been there?" Shinji responded excitedly. 

" I was looking for you. It's just my luck that I happened to find you", Kaworu smiled proudly at Shinji.

" What's on your mind?" Shinji asked. 

" You", Kaworu response is sudden and Shinji surprisingly blushes." By the way, since our age has been frozen since the Second Impact doesn't this mean we're full-grown adults now".

" You're right", Shinji said and he counted something on his fingers." That means that I'm actually 28". 

" Then I'm only a year older than you". 

" It's still amazing how we're this old, but nothing seems to change about ourselves". Shinji gazed at his hand for a while and made a fist. A bit worried about something, he looked at Kaworu and gently placed his hand on his cheek." Were you crying again?" Shinji asked. 

" I'm not sure why. It's just recently I've been feeling unsettled about something", Kaworu replied." I need a day or two to just relieve myself". Shinji frowned. There must've been something interesting about that rock Kaworu seemed a stare at blankly. Then, he looked back at Shinji and lightly smiled." What have you been up to?" 

" Just...boring assignments. I wish I had a more interesting job at least. I have to walk around for so long, and it gets scary and lonely sometimes", Shinji exhaled." Shouldn't you be with Asuka?"

" I wanted to spend time with you instead". 

" O-Oh..but there's really nothing to do. It's bothersome". 

" But everything seems better now. We're provided with adequate food and shelter. It would be spiteful to desire more. I'm honestly happy", Kaworu smiled. Shinji nodded in agreement." Are you still having visions?"

" Well, not recently. I've been getting good sleep". Kaworu looked down at the mixtape in Shinji's hands and his smile lit.

" Shinji, let's listen to one of your songs". 

" O-okay, sure".

They sat down near a rocky shore of crystal blue water, and the sun and stunning blue sky had reflected. If you had imagination, you could picture the leaves levitating over the water. Kaworu and Shinji had specifically picked out a song to listen to, it was called " Ryoute Ippai no Yume " which was also called " Both Hands Full of Dreams ". It was a sweet and slow melody, peacefully harmonious, it could even be played as a lullaby. 

Kaworu appeared to be resting his head quietly on Shinji's shoulder who couldn't seem to relax. He kept glancing at Kaworu nervously, every breath he took was shaky and hot. Maybe it was because of how close Kaworu was, Shinji struggled to stay calm. As soon as the song had ended, it shifted to another song which was " Blue Legend ", Kaworu had already fallen asleep. 

†††

Night had stroke soon, and the moon rose and clouds started to bunch. The stars twinkled, shining their way for the surviving pilots. It was very quiet, it was a perfect night. Asuka was making tea, the teapot whistled throughout the shelter annoyingly. Rei was cleaning the shelter quietly and sometimes gazed out the window. was asleep. Mari was asleep thankfully, Shinji had been taking watch duties seriously since he was outside on the roof, and Kaworu lay half-sleep on a futon. 

Shinji and his room had been located upstairs since Mari had been injured and couldn't come up here. Apart from Kaworu's leveled breathing, the noise was faint and it felt lonely again. A major feature about the room was that there was a trapdoor that led to the roof, followed by a ladder. Kaworu huffed roughly as he got up from the futon and climbed the loose ladder that led up the trapdoor.

Goosebumps appeared over his skin, as he opened the latch and felt the frosty breeze hit him. Not bothered by it much, he progressed up the ladder more, then closed the trapdoor when he was done. Afterward, Shinji turned his head to look at him, then gazed back at the moon which was starting to turn crimson." A prophecy of an apocalypse", Kaworu cooed in the darkness." The lunar eclipse". 

" It's just a myth", Shinji retorted.

" The sun will turn to darkness, and the moon to blood before the great and dreadful day of the Lord comes", Kaworu repeated the verse from the back of his head.

" Isn't that a verse from the Bible?" 

" It's important to study other cultural beliefs". The moon started to illuminate a brighter red." But aren't we cemented in an apocalyptic world?" Shinji staid silent since he didn't know how to respond." Earth's technological civilization is collapsing or should I say collapsed". 

" I'm still worried if we'll all die in the end, you saw those monsters back there". 

" I've told you this repeatedly, we'll find a way".

" I want to be true to myself, but I don't know how. I always feel scared. Scared if I can't find my own happiness. I'm tired of this never-ending pain". 

" It can't be...is my consideration and affection not enough for your happiness?"

" I-I don't know!"

" Shinji do you love yourself? Back then, you said you hated yourself. Saying you weren't capable of change but Lilin change whether they like it or not. Haven't you witnessed the progress you've made these past days? you're stronger than before". 

" I'm stronger?" Shinji looked at his hands.

" Yes. You try to take care of yourself and others..even if it isn't noticeable, you're kind-hearted. You aren't afraid of the consequences. You're bold". Kaworu manvuered over to Shinji and sat next to him." Shinji, am I distracting you?"

" I wouldn't say distracting...".

" Are you tired? If you are, we can switch spots and you can rest".

" No Kaworu. This is a responsibility I need to take seriously. Plus, maybe this is a way for paying my debt for causing two impacts". Kaworu smiled and leaned closer to give Shinji a hug, who glady wrapped his arms around him.

" Goodnight Shinji...", Kaworu whispered. 

" Goodnight Kaworu".


	13. Chapter 13

It was the usual busy morning, and the 5th day since Shinji and Kaworu had joined the 3 female Eva pilots. 

Although his duties had been half-done, Shinji had chosen to help Rei with cleaning, but mostly his favorite part of cleaning was the way Rei had started to show her own personality again. She enjoyed chatting with Shinji about plenty of topics. Even though Rei still appeared like an emotionless doll, she was completely capable of feeling human sympathy. Shinji had also noticed today that she was laying down underneath the safety of a tall tree watching some birds. 

Asuka had also seemed rather calm since Shinji's stay. It was unpredictable and unexpected at the least. Kaworu had also appeared to enjoy her appearance almost unlike everyone else living here. Mari's legs were getting better as she hasn't used her crutches in a while and just paces around the shelter with a cane. 

While sweeping around the white marble floor, Shinji realized Asuka and Kaworu had returned from their expedition. They had vanished since early in the morning, possibly 3. Asuka said it was urgent, she had spotted a herd of caribou crossing the red sheet of LCL. It also appeared they managed to catch one. A plump female caribou laying outside in some grass.

" Gee, I could use a nap!" Asuka whined stretching in her glossy red plugsuit. She plopped herself on the couch, which still hasn't been cleaned yet. It wasn't soon enough until she fell asleep. Tossing the broom somewhere, Shinji dashed upstairs after Kaworu." I'll greet Kaworu! I missed him so much!" Carelessly bursting the door open, he charged at Kaworu and tackled him playfully onto their futon. They landed with a HUFF then laughs and giggles started to fill the room. A surge of immaturity still rippled in the two." I missed you so much", Shinji said cheerfully. 

" I know, I'm sorry I kept you waiting. Asuka and I had to bring back food", Kaworu explained. Shinji lay on top of him, caressing Kaworu's cheek then moving his fingers up to his feathery hair. 

" Rei's getting better", Shinji whispered.

" I can tell. She's a bit more talkative than usual. Earlier we watched a butterfly lay eggs and she seemed fascinated by it plenty". Shinji manvuered himself more on top of Kaworu." Is there something you desire Shinji?" Kaworu smirked. Shinji trailed his hand over Kaworu's chest.

" I've just been thinking about something lately", Shinji mumbled.

" What is it?"

" It's embarrassing, I couldn't tell you", Shinji flushed.

" If you aren't comfortable with telling me, it's alright Shinji". Shinji smiled and rested his head on Kaworu's chest." But Shinji, I have something to tell you".

" What?"

" Close the door".

†††

A few hours had passed and Mari, Rei, and Asuka had been gathered at the kitchen table. The shelter had the odor of cooking meat and fine spices. Mari had decided to cook some of the caribou meat, preparing a stew. Asuka had also managed to find the compass to locate Shoreline. The bad news was that it was broken.

Asuka tapped her finger impatiently on the table. She had a sharpened Bobby pin in one hand, poking and prodding the wires to work. One of the wires was tangled with the others, causing the compass to lose most of its signal. Rei had also tried to get it working a few times but failed. 

" That's it!" Asuka yelled viscously. She prepared to smash the compass on the floor, but Rei had abruptly grabbed her wrist and took the compass." You shouldn't break it. It's still to good use", she spoke softly.

" Don't touch me you toy!" Asuka snorted. 

" Now now girls. The sun is at its peak and dinner is almost ready. We'll discuss the compass later", Mari uttered, stirring the stew which was placed in a large spot." Also, haven't the boys been a bit quiet?" 

Asuka nearly croaked." What do you mean as quiet?" 

" They've been upstairs for a long time. I'm getting hints".

" Hey doll, would you get those two and bring them downstairs?" 

Rei nodded her head and got up from her seat at the dinner table then she approached the stairs and proceeded. When she had come close to their room door, she knocked mildly. There was no response and she knocked again, then she heard moving on the other side of the door. She stepped back, predicting someone would open the door. It was Shinji."...Uh", Shinji rubbed his eyes." Rei? What's up?" 

" The second child has commanded you and the fifth child to come downstairs for a feast", Rei said. 

" Yeah, I'll be downstairs in a sec. Kaworu's still asleep though". 

Rei didn't retort and she headed back downstairs. Shinji, Rei, and Asuka's bowls had already been fixed and the sweet aroma of the stew had risen in the air rapidly. Shinji was downstairs shortly after in his dusty black suit." Wow! It smells great!" Shinji sat at the table.

" Aren't you gonna wash your hands?" Mari asked. 

" Oh right", Shinji couldn't help but detect sarcasm. Shinji had quickly gone to the bathroom to cleanse the filthiness of his hands then returned to his seat." Oh yeah, I forgot to say that Kaworu is resting".

" Is the fifth child alright?" Rei took a bite of her stew. Everyone stared at Rei shockingly.

" Eh...he told me he's just been tired lately. Maybe from how much he travels every day...it would be kind if he could have a break once in a while". Shinji poked his stew, a little hesitant in eating caribou meat. 

" A break? We're out here fighting for our lives and you think a break would be nice!" Asuka spat.

Shinji sighed." You might wear him out". 

Asuka grunted ready to throw her bowl of soup at the moron in front of her. Everyone had silently begun to eat their meal, Mari had watched or rather had gotten bored and felt bare." Thank you, the meal was good", Rei said. It was surprising she had decided to eat.

" Yeah, it was great! Thanks!" Asuka beamed.

" Right thank you. It's been a while since I've had a warm meal", Shinji smiled. 

" Eh. It's whatever. We're in this mess together ", Mari grabbed everyone's dirty bowls and utensils and put them into the sink to wash later. She was hungry now so she began eating her fill, she also made sure to leave extra for Kaworu for when he wakes. 

The sun was still up, and there was plenty of stew left for seconds but everyone had changed their plans. Shinji had gone back upstairs to his room, Asuka returned to her room too and Rei went exploring while it was still bright. So then Mari had decided to take the rest of the day off too.

While upstairs Kaworu was still asleep, tucked underneath the blankets. Shinji had quietly stepped in. It was sudden how the door had closed and made a large BAM. It woke Kaworu up instantly as he had woken from a nightmare." Oh sorry", Shinji spoke. 

" It's fine, I needed to wake up anyway", Kaworu yawned, sweat still formed around his face.

" Since you're awake now, there's a bowl of soup downstairs if you want any", Shinji addressed him. Then he sheepishly looked at the floor." You s-should put some clothes on though". 

" Right, I forgot", Kaworu ran his hand through his hair and got up from the futon. Shinji had instantly whipped his head around, cheeks starting to burn. As Kaworu had gotten dressed in his suit, Shinji had struggled not to peek. Not that he was curious, he's already captured Kaworu's naked figure. It was just amusing. He peeked once, catching a glimpse of Kaworu's backside then averting his eyes at the door again. Once Kaworu had announced he was fully dressed, they exited the room then the shelter itself.

†††

Everyone was gathered downstairs by the dinner table of course. Asuka glared down at the compass disappointedly. Mari and Kaworu were fidgeting with it with pins, the wires were tangled and they were starting to rip too. It was a difficult job, trying to connect the stubborn chip so the signal could connect. Then, the compass sparked, Kaworu and Mari jolted back, it started to smoke." Well, that's a wrap", Mari sighed. 

" It's like you don't care at all! That's our only ticket to safety!" Asuka snarled. 

" Calm down princess", Mari yawned and set the pins down. They had been working with the compass for half an hour.

" It appears we've only broken it more. We need a new chip, or there's no way it'll work properly", Kaworu spoke, rubbing his top lip with his finger.

" Pfft. Sounds like a load of bullshit", Asuka grunted.

" I'm listening", Mari smirked.

" Well, just think about it. Aren't there other civilians seeking Shoreline's safety? If they're searching for Shoreline doesn't that mean there's more than just one copy of the compass?" Kaworu explained. 

" I never thought of that. If we can get our hands on someone else's compass, then we can get a chip...", Asuka said.

" But how will we get another chip? There doesn't seem to be any survivors around here other than us", Shinji uttered.

" Maybe Wille has a copy. I mean.. they know exactly that our destination is Shoreline if they use a compass they can easily find us there", Kaworu said.

" He's saying we should take the copy Wille has", Rei butted in. 

" That's impossible", Shinji said.

" Not impossible, just a bit risky", Asuka said. 

" Good. I have a plan then", Kaworu smirked. 

Everyone leaned in to listen to Kaworu. 

" We board onto Wille's ship and switch the compasses. By the time Wille lands again we'll escape and locate Shoreline ourselves", Kaworu explained." It sounds simple, but it could also take our lives by one little mistake". Shinji shuddered.

" I agree. I also have something to inform". Mari nodded." Shouldn't we have a little part to play in this scheme? I say we should take more from them" 

" We should kill them!" Asuka snarled. She slammed her fist on the table. Kaworu slightly flinched.

" How greedy. If we do more damage we'll be asking for more trouble". Kaworu shook his head.

" Oh calm on! For crying out loud they're the ones trying to slaughter us! If we keep them alive we'll never be safe!" Asuka boomed. Kaworu sat stiffly in his seat.

" Maybe...if it's appropriate...we attack. There's more of them than us. Including most of Nerv's associates", Shinji murmured.

" You've got a good point puppy boy", Mari sighed." Plus, those scumbags don't deserve any of my bullets. It's settled, we'll bring weapons but we'll use them if needed". Shinji opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, then he cringed in his seat when Asuka glared at him. 

" I know I'm being greedy but I really want some of their codes put onto this harddrive", Mari slid the small chip onto the table. Kaworu's eyes flashed." Kaworu you'll be the one to switch the compasses". Mari slid a large map of the ship onto the table." The compass should be kept in the commander's office. If I'm not mistaken there's a computer there, but it has high security that I'm not even able to hack into yet. But you'll be able to handle it". 

Kaworu nodded." I'll try my best". 

" We should also take their weapons", Asuka noted.

" I'll be in charge of that", Mari said." Asuka, you'll cover everyone and alert them. You'll stay in the camera room and tie the guards up. Make sure to lock the door. If there's someone approaching the room, there should be an alarm somewhere in there and make it go off". Mari then turned to Rei and Shinji." You two will be in charge of raiding Wille's supplies. The supply room is the left of the entry and past the corridors. If you follow that hallway there you'll likely get lost so I advise you don't go there unless you know what you're doing".

" This is a lot to take in", Shinji exhaled.

" You can stay home if you want", Asuka smiled.

" Really!?" 

" No, dumbass". 

" Isn't this a little insane?" Shinji whined.

" Look Shinji. This isn't a game. You need to grow up or you're going to die or get someone else killed", Mari claimed. Kaworu sighed. Although he wanted to defend Shinji, Mari was right. If Shinji made another mistake, all of them could get hurt or worse.

" It's alright Shinji", Kaworu rubbed his back." Try not to feel pressured. I'm grateful for your assistance". 

" I know...", Shinji mumbled. 

" So, any questions?" Mari asked. 

" What if they don't have the compass? Or what if there's is broken as well?" Kaworu asked. 

" Then we'll abort the mission". 

" What if they never land? And if they find out the compass is missing they'll think somethings up", Shinji said.

" It's likely, but we can't be too sure", Mari said sternly.

" Alright", Asuka yawned and stretched in her seat." I think we've discussed enough". 

" Yeah, the sun's going down", Shinji said. 

" Let's make s' mores!" Mari blurted out.

" S' mores? At a time like this?" Asuka grunted.

" Yep! It's just to bring everyone closer". 

" Fine, whatever". 

†††

It was pitch black now, except the bright ember that stood in front of the pilots. They were huddled together by the warm fire on some logs that Asuka and Kaworu had worked hard chopping earlier. While Rei was observing a beetle, and Asuka and Mari were chattering about food. Shinji appeared unsettled by the recent plan.

" Hey, Kaworu?" Shinji asked. Kaworu coughed a bit and took a gulp of his water bottle. 

" Mhm?" 

" Are you uncomfortable with taking such a dangerous position?" Shinji asked.

" I'm not bothered by it. It's a responsibility I can handle". 

" I guess it's just me. I'm a little nervous I'll mess something up. I hate it. I'm still blind over the fact we'll sneaking into Wille's ship". 

" I'm sure you're not the only one. Even though Asuka's daring I'm positive she's irritated as well. Try not to worry too much. It'll be a while before we find their ship anyway". 

" Okay". Shinji finally opened the small package of his juice boxes straw and punctured it through the hole. Soon, Mari passed out marshmallows and everyone grabbed a stick and started roasting them. All but Kaworu who looked at Shinji after he received his marshmallow." You just put your marshmallow on your stick and put it up to the fire. Also...try not to drop it", Shinji said assisting Kaworu.

" Kaworu do you even know how to make a s'mores?" Asuka sneered.

" Leave him alone, he's foreign", Shinji scoffed. 

" It's fine. I take no offense. Asuka will you show me how to make this s' more?"

Asuka rolled her eyes." Let me see your marshmallow". Kaworu handed her his stick with the half-melted marshmallow then prepared Kaworu's s' more for him. Afterward, he stared at it and glanced back at Shinji." Just bite into it", he responded. 

Kaworu did as he was told and his eyes had mirrored the flames in front of him." It's sweet!" He cheered. At this rate, he stuffed the s'more in his mouth and Shinji choked on his water. Mari and Asuka stared amusingly and the beetle Rei was intrigued by had scattered away eventually.

" Kaworu be careful!" Shinji shouted." Chew your food!" 

" Can I have another!" Kaworu pleaded. 

Shinji looked at Mari, in which his eyes could read not to give Kaworu another. But Mari smirked and gave Kaworu her s'more.

" Kaworu, shouldn't you wait a sec? You might get a stomach ache!" Shinji exclaimed. Kaworu wasn't paying attention, he had devoured that s'more as well.

" Do you want another?" Mari giggled.

" No!" Shinji yelped.


	14. Chapter 14

A damp and muggy smell had entered the shelter, mostly because it was raining once again. Apart from the bitter scent of cooking stew, the shelter was alive. Rei was cleaning, as usual, a matter of fact, folding everyone's laundry. Asuka was on cooking duties this time and warming up the leftover buffalo stew from yesterday. Mari was sprawled on one of the couches playing on a Nintendo 3ds for the past few minutes and Kaworu and Shinji had been located upstairs in their bedroom. 

Shinji rubbed Kaworu's forehead softly. Kaworu opened his eyes deliberately and gazed at Shinji." Are you alright?" Shinji asked, still soothing his head. Kaworu tried to answer, then covered his mouth so he could cough." I think you're sick".

" Maybe just a small cold", Kaworu said hoarsely. 

" I don't know about that. You're burning up. You have a fever". Shinji caressed Kaworu's cheek. Kaworu coughed once more." Stay in bed and rest. I'll bring you back some water". 

Shinji rose from the futon and exited the room. Rushing downstairs and almost bumping into Rei." Excuse me", he uttered. Asuka glanced at Shinji for a second as he hurried to open the refrigerator.

" What's the matter with you? She asked. 

" Kaworu isn't feeling well. I'm just bringing him something to drink". Shinji grabbed a water bottle from the bottom shelf.

" Does he have the flu or something?" Asuka sipped a mug of tea.

" Uh...just a fever", Shinji responded. 

" I hope he's alright". Asuka turned her back to focus on cooking again. 

Shinji ran up the stairs immediately and opened the door. Shinji sat down and set the water next to Kaworu's pillow." Thank you", Kaworu whispered. 

" You don't have to thank me. This doesn't favor or anything", Shinji's eyes gleamed." Get some rest". Shinji lowered his head and kissed Kaworu's forehead. Kaworu smiled and closed his eyes. Afterward, Shinji had gotten dressed like he usually did, and prepared for his duties." I guess I should get ready...or Mari will be upset. I wonder how I'll be able to do this? A two-day expedition through Tokyo-3 and Tokyo-2 sounds insane! It's basically suicide, I can't handle this on my own". 

Shinji closed his room door silently and walked downstairs slowly." But if I show weakness everyone will judge me and I'll make them worry. I feel so cornered...I wish you weren't sick Kaworu, then I wouldn't be so afraid right now". Shinji mistakingly bumped into Asuka who whipped her head around furiously." You're ready right?"Asuka crossed her arms. 

" Y-yeah. Just give me the word", Shinji spoke softly. Mari appeared from her bedroom and approached Shinji." Just to get things clear you'll be searching around Tokyo-3 and Tokyo-2 for Wille, if you find their ship, head back here as soon as possible", Mari spoke bitterly." You'll also need this. Try not to lose or damage it. It's valuable". Mari handed Shinji a map. It appeared to have the locations he was supposed to visit.

" I'm sure you guessed by now but you'll also need a gun", Mari handed him a small black handgun. Shinji almost dropped it. Mari snickered." Hope you come back in one piece!"

" W-wait!?" Shinji yelped. Asuka frowned." You're just gonna send me out there alone?"

" What you can't handle a little heat puppy boy?" Mari sneered. 

" That's just wrong. What if I die?" 

" There's absolutely nothing we can do about it. It can't be helped. But here's another great idea, we can always let Rei go instead"." No way!"

" Or Rei and I can go together...", Shinji gulped. 

Mari and Asuka looked at each other. Both of them were confused about whether they should allow it or not." Then who'll do the cleaning?" Asuka grunted. 

" I promise! Rei and I will clean everything when we get back!" Shinji clapped his hands together. 

" Gee, you really are a puppy when you beg", Mari giggled." I can't stand saying no to that face".

" Make sure you keep your word", Asuka said. 

" Mhm!" Shinji nodded. Rei had set the broomstick down since she had previously been sweeping and paced next to Shinji's side. Mari had handed her a gun as well.

" You may leave now", Mari dipped her head. Rei did as well.

" Be safe", Asuka looked at Shinji and waved. 

" Uh- yeah...bye", Shinji waved back and left the shelter. Rei followed behind him.

They had traveled past a long flowing and followed it according to the map. Along the way, they took breaks to eat and rehydrate. Shinji randomly had asked." Rei? Do you feel like you have a purpose?" 

Rei was silent and halted. She gazed at Shinji who turned himself around to face her." I'm not sure if you understand", Shinji mumbled. 

" My purpose is to follow commands", Rei spoke softly. Shinji frowned. He stepped over some sharp stones. They padded along a mossy red road.

" Don't you want to rebel sometimes?" Shinji asked. 

" What good comes to rebelling?" Rei asked. Shinji lightly smiled." Progress". 

" W-well...you get to think your own thoughts", Shinji swatted a mosquito." Enjoy things you like doing...like watching birds and frogs". Rei seemed surprised. Her eyes had lit a bright red and Shinji's smile grew." Do you know what like means?" 

" A favorable feeling or desire", Rei responded she trekked alongside Shinji, their shoulders brushed. 

" Now you get it! It's kinda like finding something you enjoy doing", Shinji beamed. For a heartbeat, Shinji swore he saw Rei smile, even if it was a small smile." Like a hobby".

" Hobby?" Rei tilted her head. Shinji also tripped over his feet.

" Yeah. Like hiking, fishing, or bird-watching. You like those types of things right?"

" It makes me feel good", Rei nodded." Rei appears to like nature a lot".

Rei halted again. Shinji did too and turned to her." What's the matter?" He asked worried a bit. Then Rei looked at the Earth floor and Shinji did so too. There were red stains scattered around the dirt and plants there was also broken glass." Is this LCL?" Shinji asked. Then he recognized that horrible odor from anywhere. 

" No, it's blood. It's still fresh, most likely a day old", Rei bent down and smudged a finger over it." Although, I believe it isn't human blood".

" There must've been people in this area though right?" 

Rei nodded and stood up." Let's keep going, we can retreat whenever you want". 

" I'm fine, let's carry on". 

They proceeded through the horrific forest." Maybe those dogs are around here somewhere, I better try my best to protect Rei and myself"." Rei? Do you know about those dogs in the area?" Shinji curiously asked. 

" I've heard about them the Fifth. I'm sure you're aware we should be cautious". 

" Fifth"." You mean Kaworu told you. You should call everyone by their actual names Rei". Shinji put his arms around his head and neck. His appearance seemed dull in the fog." You can call me Shinji". 

" Shinji...Shinji", Rei repeated his name silently to herself and looked at the cloudy sky." You're so mysterious Rei".

" Rei, do you like Kaworu?" Shinji asked. Rei and Shinji had started to walk through a shallow pool of water. Far ahead of them seemed to be a warehouse and a sphere water tower.

" Kaworu?" Rei seemed confused.

" The Fifth....", Shinji sighed.

" Kaworu makes me feel nice too", Rei spoke gently. Shinji smiled and grabbed the map out of his backpack. He observed the sections of land they could pass through to get to Tokyo-2.

" That's good. Kaworu is someone you'd want on your side", Shinji spoke smoothly. He looked at the limited route to take to Tokyo-2 and squinted his eyes in annoyance." Hey, if we go past the warehouse and water tower, we'll be near Tokyo-2. I'm sure they have Nerv bases there, maybe even Wille if we're lucky".

Rei turned to face him." Do you want to search the warehouse?" 

" If we can manage to get inside. It's possibly locked".

" We might find information about Wille or Nerv. It's worth a try". 

Shinji nodded." Let's do it". The warehouse and water tower were a few miles away. They trekked over the red-stained LCL earth and around some buildings that collided with some trees and a river. Their journey was followed by hills with rabbit holes in them and pine forests and orange and yellow-leaved oaks." Kaworu. I'm not sure what you are doing right now but I'm losing my mind over you". Shinji stepped over some more broken glass along with Rei. 

Shortly they arrived at their destination, and Shinji had observed the entryway inside which was a brown red-stained door." I'll look around to see if there's another door", Rei said. Shinji nodded in response. There were also two garage doors, they looked broken and rusty. There might be no way inside. Rei had reappeared from the side of the warehouse.

" There's no Nerv sign on this one, I believe it's Wille's but we'll never know".

" How will we get inside?" Shinji asked. 

Rei looked at the door and tried budging it open." It's not locked, there might be something blocking the way". Shinji approached to her side and helped push the door open. The door suddenly started to open, and debris crumbled on top of them. One more push had appeared to do the trick and Rei and Shinji tumbled inside." It's dark", Rei whispered. The only light that beamed in the cold depths of the warehouse was the foggy mist outside. Rei reached for her flashlight in her backpack. Shinji did too. Now the warehouse was ignited with light.

" I'm surprised these still work", Shinji exhaled." Hey, let's look for a light switch". Rei nodded in agreement.

Shinji hovered his hands around the walls of the warehouse. Rei stood by the entry to make sure the door didn't close on them. Then, she decided to place her backpack down to hold the door. Shinji had soon found a light switch. He flicked it up and only a single light had flickered on, he noticed there were several more and tried cutting them on. Only two more had flickered on eventually and the others had hardly shone a light. 

" Great", Shinji grinned." We can use this as a shelter for now". Since the winds were starting to get heavy, Rei closed the door and turned her flashlight off. A mouse scattered across her feet. She flinched." Hm?" Shinji turned to Rei.

" Nothing", she responded." Do we have sleeping bags in here?" She reached in her backpack, a few things had fallen out." Oh...".

Shinji had looked at the gun and other tools that had fallen out and reached for them. Rei crouched to the floor quickly and tried grabbing them. Shinji and Rei had brushed fingers." S-sorry!" Shinji brings his hand back. 

" Don't apologize for it", she grabbed the gun and matches that fell. Shinji grabbed the ammo that had fallen out. Rei kept searching through her bag." I only brought a blanket".

" Oh, I brought a sleeping bag. If you want I can sleep with the blanket". 

" I couldn't accept that offer Shinji". Rei shook her head.

" I'll be fine, it's not that cold in here".

" Thank you". 

" Your welcome Rei", Shinji voice echoed." I'll make a fire".

" In here? What if everything catches on fire?"

" It won't". Shinji reached in his backpack pocket for a pack of matches. Then he gathered driftwood that had surprisingly made its way in the warehouse and old newspapers and cardboard and tossed them into a trashcan. Eventually, he started throwing lit matches into the trashcan which caused a big fire.   
" It was bigger than I expected".

Shinji sat down near the fire wrapped in the blanket. Rei had made it to his side and laid out the sleeping bag." Do you think everyone is alright without us?" 

" Kaworu is probably worried about you the most". Shinji looked at her for a moment then at the stained red stone floor.

" Yeah...I bet he's thinking about me now". Shinji looked at the fire. Those sparking colors had reminded him of Kaworu's eyes and that fierce personality Kaworu had let him, witness. Shinji's cheeks flushed.

" You miss him don't you?" Rei looked at the fire as well.

" Probably too much". 

" Hm. It's something I can't seem to understand yet. I don't know who I am or what I am? I dislike these feelings". Rei gazed at her hands.

" You're Rei Ayanami". Shinji smiled.

" Who's Rei Ayanami supposed to be?" 

" Honestly, Rei is a happy girl who really just leaves a positive impact on everyone she meets. Whether it be a smile, a laugh, a changed heart". 

Rei's cheeks turned pink." Thank you...Shinji". 

" You deserve to hear it". 

They're silent for a while." The sun's probably down. Should we rest?"

" Yes". Rei had slipped into the sleeping bag and laid down. Shinji had gently rested his head on Rei's legs.

" Goodnight. Sleep well", Shinji uttered.

"....". Rei was silent." I guess she still doesn't know traditions like this". 

†††

Shinji had woken from a single drop that hit his forehead. He opened his eyes slowly then more drops hit his face and he shot up in fright. It was only the rain that was seeping through the ceiling of the warehouse." This place seems so old, I bet it could collapse any second now". Shinji turned to see the fire was put out and he wasn't laying on Rei anymore." Rei must've put the fire out just in case". He got up and was shocked by how freezing it was in here. A second ago he was toasty and warm." Now I'm fully awake. How will I even be able to sleep again? Unless I huddled close to Rei". But then Shinji shook his head, he wouldn't dare. 

The lights had still been on, but it seemed most of them had gone out as well. Electricity and technology were most likely dull around this area. Shinji sighed and looked into his backpack for a granola bar. Then he heard the rumble of thunder. It must've been storming once again. He sighed heavily this time. 

ྉྉྉ

Asuka laid on her and Mari's bed in her sleepwear uncomfortably. There appeared to be something troubling her mind a lot. Her face was scrunched up and her eyes bright with fiery than ever. Her aura even seemed off. Mari had emerged from downstairs and opened the door." What's wrong with you princess?" She asked. 

" I'm not in the mood", Asuka grunted.

" Seriously, you're starting to bother me. What's the matter?" Mari sat on the bed. She wore a black tank top and pink shorts. While Asuka wore a white t-shirt and black sweat pants." It hurts when someone doesn't want you, but it hurts, even more, to keep chasing someone who won't stay", Asuka groaned.

" What are you talking about!?" Mari whined. 

" Nevermind... it's nonsense".

" Let me guess. You like Shinji".

" Maybe". Asuka stuffed her face in her pillow. 

" You shouldn't have to guess whether or not someone cares about you. Honestly, I think Shinji is terrified of you".

" This...this isn't about stupid Shinji".

" Kaworu?" Mari looked at Asuka wistfully. 

Asuka was silent and dug her hands into her pillow.

" Of everyone, I least expected it would be him. He's kinda weird".

" I don't care what you think about him. I just want to know how I'll be capable of getting closer to him. It's like I could know him for a year and still feel like there's no connection".

" I'm no love expert. How should I know?"

" I just thought you would know! You're supposed to assist me!"

" Well...I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you! You'll just have to figure it out on your own. We're grown-ups after all. Growing up means finding a way to interact with others while distancing pain". 

Asuka looked at Mari with bewildered eyes." How could you say that?! After all, we've gone through together!"

" Shut up! There's no reason for you to love someone who isn't going to love you back!" Mari hissed. Her eyes started to conduct tears and Mari had run out the room. Asuka felt a sting of pain in her heart. It must've been true what Mari stated, Kaworu didn't love her. She'd only been stuck in the illusion that he truly did." Why am I even thinking about this? It's only going to make me more upset. Why do I have to like him? What do I even what from him? Is it because of his looks? he's a man that Idiot Shinji could never be...someone that I had dreamed of...that I wouldn't become like mother who constantly dated men while father was absent... I'm gonna become stronger and better than her in every way, and make the world my dolls. We'll see then...". Asuka turned off the lamplight and tucked herself underneath the covers. 

" Maybe I should go apologies to Mari. Whatever I said to her made her upset. No...I don't feel like seeing her face". Asuka threw the covers off and exited the room. It was dark, there was no moon out either and rain had poured over the shelter horrifically. She had decided to enter Kaworu and Shinji's room so she headed upstairs. Kaworu's door was open and she opened it more to enter." I'm only checking on Kaworu since he has a fever. Nothing wrong with that".

The first thing Asuka saw was Kaworu's head sticking out the window." Hey, you should be resting", Asuka said. Kaworu slightly turned his head to look at her. A single glance then back at the window. A few seconds passed then he spoke in a low hoarse tone, Asuka felt bad for him." My nose is clogged. I can't breathe correctly". Kaworu then coughed." I'm also worried about Shinji and Rei. Where will they sleep? How could you two just send them out there alone? It's dangerous. Aren't you a little concerned?"

" Yeesh, so many questions"." Look it's not really my fault. Mari would've done it but Shinji's been doing so well with his duties Mari decided it would be best for him to continue working". 

" That's a horrible excuse", Kaworu scoffed. Asuka looked at him in resent. Something she's actually proud of till this point." If they end up dead I might dispatch of both of you".

" Excuse me?" Asuka's voice grew louder.

" I might be ill. But I'm capable of doing way more than everyone combined. I was trained by Seele after all". 

" What are you saying!? Are you slow or something!? Asuka shouted.

" I thought Shinji might've told you by now. Didn't you know? Since I was born I've been living on the moon underneath Seele's surveillance, along with Mari".

" Mari?!" Asuka shouted.


	15. Chapter 15

" Mari!?" Asuka shouted." What does any of this have to do with Mari!?" Kaworu was silent for a moment." What did you do to her!?" Asuka approached him aggressively but then Kaworu spoke. 

" Listen closely", Kaworu uttered. 

×××

The irritating ticking of the clock in the lab room made the apprentice snap the tip of his pencil in annoyance. What was even more aggravating was the flickering of the light in the room which had constantly attracted insects in. The boy couldn't even focus right on his work without a simple interruption. Then there was always that camera that spooked in on him. 

Sometimes it was turned off by one of the Nerv's assistants. But the chance for the camera to be turned off was likely. It was like this from the beginning, he was always being watched. Kaworu had always felt ashamed when changing clothes. But he never told anyone or showed that he was uncomfortable. 

At the moment, Kaworu was writing a summary of a book he had recently read. That's what one of the Nerv assistants had ordered him to do. There was another snap of led as soon as he heard the beep of the camera turned back on. Kaworu sharpened his pencil once more and proceeded with finishing the summary. 

Just in the room above him were Fuyutsuki and Gendo gazing at him solidly." Kaworu has always been a fast learner", Fuyutsuki spoke." I remember it must've been just yesterday that he was learning to speak English and Japanese".

" Indeed. He'll make an efficient pilot soon enough. Order will take its place", Gendo responded, staring at the camera screen hard." Hopefully, he'll cooperate with Eighth".

" Ikari, you can't be serious about sending that reckless girl here. At least give Kaworu more time sir, it's only a suggestion. I wouldn't dare go against your orders". 

" The Eighth will arrive in the shuttle later on and proceed with her training here. Kaworu will be ready to practice with her in two more days or maybe less". Gendo was silent after a while. Fuyutsuki fell silent as well, not knowing where to begin. Whether he should retaliate or not. 

" One of the assistants...what's her name again? Right, Sumire. She claimed after Kaworu was finished with his summary she'd give him a 50-word spelling test", Fuyutsuki spoke." He'll have to memorize some challenging words. I'm sure he'll ace it".

" He has no choice".

Kaworu had completed his summary and took the second sheet of line paper and paper clipped it to the previous page. Suddenly, the lab door had swung open and Kaworu glanced at the pretty lady. 

A young woman, most likely in her early 20s had walked into the room. Dark skinned and black glossy hair kept in a neat ponytail and shiny blue eyes. She appeared very tall too." I'm finished", Kaworu spoke and handed the woman his papers. 

The woman took the papers and looked through it firmly then without glancing at Kaworu she asked " What was the book about?"

Even though he felt exhausted Kaworu still had the strength to smile." The book is a novel about a man who's wife and daughter were murdered. After their death, a black cat begins following him around and drives him to insanity. The book was quite interesting and realistic"." Fool. I'm only telling her what she wants to know". 

" Excellent". Sumire reached her hand to Kaworu's hair and patted his head gently." You can take a break whenever you want". Kaworu's eyes widened.

" Really?" He appeared puzzled. 

" Mhm", she nodded her head." Just don't go anywhere where you're not supposed to be". Kaworu lifted from his seat and proceeded to exit with the woman." By the way, make sure you're back by 3 on the dot. You have a spelling test".

" Another one?" Kaworu seemed deeply displeased, but he smiled to reassure himself." I need the practice anyway". 

Kaworu had hurried away from the lab instantly after Sumire entered another room." What I hate about that room is that it's always bright and feels empty. There's no music to listen to and no company at all. Sometimes the woman comes and talks to me, but it still appears to be not even". Kaworu paced down a wide hallway to where the garden was supposed to be. The garden was big and spaced out. It recently had been built and plants had been put in the week before. It was Kaworu's only escape to think for himself. They also...had a piano. 

When Kaworu had played that piano he could see through the glass door of someone watching him play or listen at least. He always attracted someone to the door. Then he found out he enjoyed playing or at least playing for someone. They didn't even have to praise him for his work. He just did it because it was soothing to play and listen to how his fingers could press every key and could make a melody out of it.

Today he planned on attempting to play Quarter Mains by himself. Quarter Mains was specifically a song to play as a duet. But being so lonely and bored he stepped over to the piano seat and sat down. The seat was adjusted correctly for his height. He placed his hands over the keys where he was supposed to start and closed his eyes. He had already memorized all the notes, well, the notes he was supposed to play. Then while he was moving his fingers over the keys, the song had sounded so incomplete he stopped himself from continuing." What a pain". He checked the clock on the wall and sighed. By the time he had finished playing it was already 3 so he sat up abruptly and rushed to back to the lab. 

Sumire was waiting there for him. She sat on the desk where he was previously working." Your late", she stated with a paper in her hand. It was most likely his spelling test.

" I apologize", he said and took a seat.

" Ready for your test?" She asked him 

Kaworu looked a bit taken aback. He closed his eyes and thought for a minute." I'm completely unprepared and tense. What if I misspell a word? Will they lock me in a room of solitude again?"

"Kaworu?" 

" Affirmative, I'm ready". Kaworu snapped back to reality.

" Good. Let's begin then", Sumire smiled. She lifted the coffee she had brought into the room and took a sip." Your word is accommodation". 

" Easy". Kaworu gulped." A,C,C,O,M,M,O,D,A,T,I,O,N. Accommodation". He spelled the world quickly. 

" Correct". 

†††

Smoke had floated into the vents and the bubbles of coffee being made echoed through the office. Sumire took a few puffs of her cigarette before exhaling it out. Gendo stood drinking coffee along with Fuyutsuki and Sumire had sat on a desk enjoying her break." That boy is something else. He got all 50 words on his test correct. No stumbling, no mistakes at all", Sumire said. 

" It's just as you expected Ikari", Fuyutsuki spoke. He took a gulp of his creamed coffee. Gendo drank the rest of his coffee and set it in the sink. Gendo smirked.

" The Eighth should be arriving in a few minutes. Retsuko reported it earlier." 

" How adorable", Sumire smiled." I bet they'll become a little couple". 

" Nonsense. Kaworu has no experience with love and I'd like to keep it that way". 

Sumire had frozen a bit and took her cigarette out her mouth." I think he's at least curious about it. You know when I observed him from one of the monitors he's always watching romance genres".

" It'll have to be dealt with", Fuyutsuki spoke." If those types of emotions get in the way of Kaworu's training we'll never get him in contact with Shinji in time". 

" We'll just limit the time he spends with the girl to prevent any conflict", Gendo responded.

Sumire sighed." What's gonna happen to him after the plan is a success?"

Gendo was silent. Fuyutsuki looked at his coffee blankly. Sumire rolled her eyes and put out her cigarette." I see. Feelings like those might be complicated for the kid anyways". 

Gendo left the small office." When your break is over, please go retrieve Kaworu. We'll need him immediately". 

Sumire nodded and grabbed her bag before exiting the office along with them. She proceeded to Kaworu's bedroom, high heels clicking on the marble white floor. Then the door to his room had slid open after she inputs the eye scan and keypad lock to open it. Kaworu was eating his bento at his desk area." Hm?" He turned to face Sumire.

" Finish up. You'll be meeting someone today", Sumire ordered. 

" Okay", Kaworu looked at his bento. His door closed and he began eating again. Soon he got up and threw his food away in the garbage can Nerv had provided him. He walked towards the door and knocked lightly so Sumire could open it. The door slid open for him so he left out and Sumire and him walked together down the hall. 

" We're going to the arena where your Eva is still being set up. There's a girl there waiting for you", Sumire smiled at Kaworu." If you're curious you know that pink Eva model we have in the training arena. That's what she'll be training in. We need to run tests on her since she's gotten into a few accidents in Britain". 

" Britain? So that's where she's from? How interesting". 

" We're here". Sumire opened the wide door of the arena, and near the pink model Sumire had noted earlier was the girl, two other adults, and Fuyutsuki. He had forgotten their names. Sumire and himself approached the girl." Hello. I'm Mari, Mari Makinami Illustrious", the girl said, she held out a hand for Kaworu to take. The girl seemed about the same height as Kaworu. Mari was a brunette with twintails and had bangs parted to the side. She wore a school uniform Kaworu hadn't been familiar with before. And, she had a stench of LCL.

" My name is Kaworu. Kaworu Nagisa", he grabbed her hand gently and they shook hands. 

" Both of you will be training together, so it's important you two get along well", Fuyutsuki said.

" We'll get along just fine", Mari smiled. 

" Excellent. Hideki, Midori, I'll trust Mari and Kaworu's knowledge in your hands. Sumire, you'll be coming with me". Fuyutsuki and Sumire had left the arena room afterward.

" Mari and Kaworu, go get dressed in your plug suits", Midori, a pink-haired woman had said. She held a clipboard in one of her hands, there must be a procedure they're going to go through first. 

Kaworu nodded his head and went to the men's changing room along with Mari going to the opposite one. After they were changed they were sent to their respective entry plugs and that's where the first test had begun.

Kaworu and Mari had been located in their test entry plugs alone and submerged in a pool of LCL." Make the entry plugs deeper", Midori ordered watching the test subjects on a big screen.

" Roger. Inserting entry plug", Hideki muttered." Direct hydro-transmission system connection prepared". 

" Plug fixed in place. First stage connection initiated. Filling the entry plug. Connecting main power". 

" Commencing secondary contacts. A-10 nerve connection, normal. Set the thought configuration to Japanese. All preliminary contacts established". 

" Bi-directional circuits are open. Synchronization rate of Kaworu is at 92.3%!" Midori seemed shocked." Synchronization rate of Mari is at 79%!"

" Psst hey", Mari whispered to Kaworu. Kaworu had been concentrating for a while, he popped on eye open." Isn't today your first day? How were you able to get such a high score?" 

" Truth is I can set my synchronization rate to anything I desire", Kaworu cooed. 

" You're lucky. Maybe training is gonna be easier for you. It took me half a year to get such a high percentage with my Eva, we have a special bond you know". Kaworu smiled at that fact." How old are you?"

Kaworu froze a bit and closed his eyes. A worried frown was made upon Mari's face." Come on, you remember your age right?" 

" I'm 15", Kaworu whispered." I think".

" Then, you're only a year older than me". 

" Wait what are they saying?" Hideki asked from the other side of the monitoring glass.

" Ugh the volume for the audio speaker must've turned off by itself, wait a minute", Midori grunted crouching down under a desk full of wires. She pulled out a phone and used it's a flashlight to see what the problem was." Here we go". She pressed a button and untangled a few wires before the audio speaker had turned on fully and projected the conversation. 

" Where are you from?" Mari asked she closed her eyes. 

" From?" Kaworu seemed more confused.

" Yeah...where were you born?"

" Born?" 

" Oh no....", Midori said faintly." Synchronization test is over!"

" Oh, the test is over already, that was short", Mari began whistling. Kaworu appeared distraught. 

†††

Sumire and Kaworu walked through the hallways to his bedroom." I heard from Hideki and Midori that you did well on your synchronization test. The day after tomorrow your Eva will be prepared for piloting", Sumire said.

" That's good. I may not show it, but I was getting impatient", Kaworu lightly laughed.

" Did you enjoy Mari?"

" She's tolerable". 

" Mari's going to continue her training today. I suggest you observe her while she trains. You might just learn something".

" Alright".

They arrived at Kaworu's room and Sumire scanned her eye and inputted the code to the keypad." Get some rest". Kaworu nodded and stepped into his room." It feels like I've been in this room for decades. Even every second begins to feel like an hour. It depresses me just to know how alone I truly am in here. Being isolated from the world". Kaworu flicked his light off and sat on his bed.


	16. Chapter 16

Asuka shifted through the backpack slowly putting objects out and in repeatedly. She seemed to be double checking if all the supplies they needed for the mission was in order. Kaworu strolled pass handing Asuka the broken compass. She gazed at Kaworu's eyes just to try to read his intentions. He had a slight smile on his face." Thanks", Asuka whispered. Kaworu looked at the ceiling wearied then at Asuka who was zipping her backpack up.

" I'm sorry about last night. I panicked", Kaworu spoke. Asuka froze but then continued with her motive and placed her backpack beside the stairs. Kaworu's eyes followed her movements." I felt Shinji wouldn't come back and I got upset very quickly. I shouldn't have taken my emotions out on you. So just know it wasn't your fault for what happened". 

" I understand". Asuka finally said but she didn't look Kaworu in the eye. Probably afraid of what would appear in them now. But she did turn to gaze at Kaworu only because she felt guilty herself. Kaworu's sincere smile was on her. She almost blushed." I forgive you. Maybe if it was Mari in Shinji's situation I would've felt the same way". Kaworu coughed." Are you alright? You should be getting more rest".

" I know, I just hope Shinji and Rei would return already. With me being so stressed it's hard to get any shut-eye". Kaworu wiped the rim of a cleansed mug with his index finger full of boredom. 

" They might come back today or tomorrow. There's nothing to worry about. Rei will protect him". 

Kaworu stared at Asuka then smiled calmly. Mari came downstairs with a large black ransack. There must've been something heavy inside." What's that?" Asuka asked. 

" Guns", Mari answered. Kaworu's mood had lit." Tons of em. More than we'll need". As Mari unloaded the bag she had sat snipers, to handguns, pistols, and shotguns down on the kitchen table. Most of them were stolen from Wille, others were grimy like they were found from the waste of the LCL." Pick one suitable for you", Mari commanded.

Asuka gazed at the guns for a while then picked up two handguns and observed them." These seem to fit me well". Asuka pointed them forward." Bang! Bang!" 

" Safety's not on", Mari quoted. Asuka quickly looked at the guns." Kidding". Asuka glared at Mari.

" I should slap you!" Asuka boomed. Kaworu looked at the set of guns and grabbed a large rifle." Isn't it a little heavy?"

" Not at all". The gun was chipped a bit, but it was glossy and black." It's strange, but larger guns make it easier for me to aim". 

" This bad boy's mine", Mari said. She held a dark brown camo ACR rifle in her hands, it had a pink sticker on it, almost peeled." By the way...you ever teach Shinji how to shoot?"

Kaworu shook his head then coughed." I haven't had the time to". 

" Well teach him as soon as he gets back. You know what I mean...".

" So, as soon as we get updates from Rei and Shinji we'll leave for Wille?" Asuka asked.

" Something...like that", Mari looked at the floor then adjusted her glasses." I'm still thinking, there's really no rush but at the same time Shoreline could possibly leave us if we don't go by then". 

" How about when they get back, we'll discuss the plan then leave first thing in the morning". Asuka and Mari nodded.

" They might not see it coming. They're usually more alert during the night so good idea", Mari said.

" Eh we can't be too sure", Asuka rolled her eyes. Kaworu coughed once more.

" Go get some rest Kaworu. You can't be sick if you're coming", Mari signaled her eyes upstairs to Kaworu's bedroom. 

Kaworu was stiff then he sighed." Right". He set his chosen gun down on the table then Mari had ushered him upstairs after he hesitated. 

" I'll bring you tea!" Asuka yelled from downstairs. Afterward, the kitchen was silent, and there was an awkward aura in the air.

" So....", Mari was counting ammo in her head. 

" Kaworu told me", Asuka uttered. Mari looked blank and realized what she was talking about finally. 

" Oh". She responded. There was nothing she could say about it." It never should've happened. It was a mistake". 

" I'm...I'm sorry". Asuka fidgeted and she sheepishly stared at the kitchen sink. She couldn't look at Mari, and she hated being so apologetic. She hated being soft. 

" Don't be. It has nothing to do with you". Mari started cautiously putting her firearms away.

" No, I'm sorry for butting in your business...and last night. I hurt you and myself. What happened was stupid and I won't let it happen again. We all have boundaries...and that's okay". Mari smiled a little. 

" Oh, your highness!" She burst hugging Asuka." I forgive you! You're so sincere!"

" Let go...do it or else!" Asuka shouted. Tugging Mari's pigtails but it was useless, Mari was stuck to Asuka like a magnet. Eventually, she gave up and groaned. 

†††

Rei patted Shinji's cheek softly and Shinji opened his eyes slowly. Then he rose and stretched." Ah~ that was great. Even though I slept on the concrete", Shinji spoke. His voice louder in the warehouse. It was also freezing and damp since the fire went out. Shinji got up and folded his blanket. 

" I put it out", Rei said." The fire". 

" Good looking out Rei", Shinji nodded. 

" Hm.", Rei hummed and got up as well. She started to fold up the sleeping bag." Will we be looking for Wille now?" 

Shinji clenched the blanket. He was unsure, they haven't made progress yet and Asuka and Mari will be upset if they don't come back with any information." Yep", Shinji gulped 

" It alright if you're nervous", Rei noted and put the sleeping bag back into her backpack. Then she put on her backpack. Fixed her suit and gazed at Shinji who was putting away the blanket." She's perceptive like Kaworu. I'd better watch out for her too". 

" I-I know...", Shinji forced to say." We should go now, search everywhere for signs". 

" Let's have breakfast first", Rei said.

" You're hungry right?" Shinji put on his backpack and turned to look at Rei. 

" Not really, I just want to have breakfast with you". 

Shinji gasped softly." Well...that's fine then. We can stay longer". Shinji and Rei had settled down in a clean area, and Rei had brought a towel and a bottle of water, so eventually when Shinji found a wooden tray, she wiped it off and they placed food and small snacks on the tray to eat. Rei had leftover warm-cold stew and spicy chips while Shinji had brought Yakitori which was cut grilled chicken slices on a skewer and macadamia nut cookies." This is really not breakfast". 

" Yes, but it feels nice". 

" You know Rei. You're extraordinary. You're not like the others". 

" Why am I not like the others?" 

" You're just very relaxed and calm in any situation. I find that brave", Shinji ate his cookie." I mean, you're like Kaworu in some ways. You could also be mistaken for siblings". 

Rei's cheeks turned pink. Shinji realized it and the atmosphere became awkward." I just seem that way, but really I am afraid because I don't know my identity. That's what always seems to make me down". 

" Well....you're Rei".

" I don't want to be this Rei". Small tears fell into her lap." Everyone keeps calling me that. I don't want to be labeled as ' Rei '. I don't want to pretend I'm Rei anymore." 

" Hey", Shinji put his hand on Rei's shoulder." It's alright. I won't call you that anymore. Do you want a new name?" 

" A new name?" Rei finally lifted her gaze from her lap and stared at Shinji.

" Yeah. Would you like me to choose one for you?" Rei nodded. Shinji would do anything to make Rei smile, it was worth it." Rin ". 

" Rin ". Rei repeated her new name so she could memorize it. 

" Rin will be your name. Rin Ayanami?"

" Yes, I like that name a lot. Thank you, Shinji". After they were finished eating, Rin and Shinji put away their platters, and then they were set to leave the old warehouse. They headed South to Tokyo-1, which was the location Kaworu and Shinji had been located in before. Eventually, Shinji and Rin happened to make it back to the old shelter but Shinji's old home had shifted drastically. There was no longer life in that area. Shinji walked close up to the lopsided and crumbling building. He was unable to enter since it was in bad condition now." This is the place Kaworu and I had lived before you guys came that day".

" It seems like it collapsed a few days ago", Rin claimed. 

" You're probably right, it looked better than this before". Then Shinji turned to the waterfall and pool of water. There was no waterfall and the pool of water wasn't it's pretty shiny clear appearance. It was muddy and dark. Shinji sighed." This place has so many memories and now it's just a burden". 

" Let's go. There's nothing here for us", Shinji grunted. Rin wanted to speak, but Shinji's statement must've been correct, plus he seemed in awful mood now. They continued trekking through Tokyo-1 longer than they could remember. The sun was at its peak now, and air seemed fresher around here...full of life and overgrowth.

Shinji had unexpectedly led himself to the vines and trees where Kaworu and himself had swung from. This brought back good memories. Shinji looked up and noticed a few nightberries above him. Eager to taste it, he had attempted to climb the tree.

" Shinji, you shouldn't climb that branch, it's-".THUD. Shinji had struck down the tree." That branch was loose". Shinji got up and shook himself off. He rubbed his shoulder and groaned." Shinji what are we doing?" Rin glanced at the sun.

" I don't know. This isn't my kinda job at all. I'm rather confused myself". Shinji pulled a juice box from out his backpack sleeve. Then Rin had pulled the map from out her backpack which Shinji could've sworn was in his. Then, afterward, there was a rumbling noise. Rin looked around, Shinji noticed and did too. It was coming from the Northside of the rainforest." What's that sound?" Shinji asked. 

" We're about to find out". The obnoxious noise grew louder and that's when both of them noticed the large ship soaring through the air. Rin quickly grabbed Shinji's wrist and pulled him underneath a large fern, and watched as the ship flew over them." It's Wille". Shinji pulled binoculars out of his backpack and observed the ship.

" If I'm sure, there are a few entry or exit ways in the Ship from this angle. There's a huge latch underneath the ship, probably for unloading and loading cargo. Then there's a few doors on the right side of it". Shinji had gone on with describing the ship and once it was out of their sight, he put his binoculars away." That'll probably be enough information for Asuka and Mari".

Rin nodded. The ship had left for East which was in Tokyo-2's direction." They're headed to our home. We gotta go quickly". Shinji realized this finally and grabbed Rin's hand.

" Then what are we waiting for!? Let's go!" Shinji boomed. They sprinted through the forest growth, Shinji almost tripping over a log. They were both urgent to make it home in time.

" If Wille finds out about our hiding place it'll be over", Rin spoke. 

" That's probably what happened to that shelter back there. They're scanning out buildings and destroying them for the sake of finding us", Shinji said. Rin leaped clumsily over a rock.

†††

Asuka sat up from the couch and strolled over towards the stove to take the tea out the kettle since it was whistling. After turning it off, another sound had seemed to occur. A hard rumbling noise, it seemed suspicious. Asuka blinked a few times, just to see if she was going mad, then it got louder, closer, and seemed heavier. It was a few yards away from the shelter." Holy crap! Wille!" Mari had yelled from upstairs and then all hell had broke loose.


	17. Chapter 17

Mari made her way upstairs quickly. Asuka was still panicking downstairs. Mari bust open Kaworu's door that happened to be sleeping. Mari shook him awake instantly as she entered, he shot his eyes opened, a worried and concerned look crossed his face." We gotta go. Wille is right outside", she whispered to conceal herself. Kaworu got up and his black damaged suit was already secured on him. Mari glanced at him and he nodded in return that he was prepared to leave. They quietly stepped downstairs. Suddenly, the kitchen window had opened and Asuka, Mari, and Kaworu whipped their heads around in alarm. It was only Shinji and newly called Rin. They both slipped inside slowly. Kaworu had eagerly made his way over to Shinji. Asuka hesitated to halt him." Are you alright?" Was the first question Kaworu had for Shinji. Kaworu put his hand on Shinji's shoulder gently. 

" Yes, I'm fine. No need to worry", Shinji sighed and slightly lit a smile for Kaworu to assure him. 

" What about Re-", Shinji spoke over Kaworu.

" she's not Rei, she prefers Rin". Kaworu hummed.

" hey! Nows no time for shits and giggles! We've got to make a plan", Asuka huffed. Kaworu and Shinji nodded. They were all silent, time was running out. Mari opened her mouth but soon enough she was silenced by Kaworu.

"Let's get captured purposely", he uttered. Shinji and Asuka looked at him in shock, believing he'd gone crazy. But Mari nodded and smiled, she must've understood.

" There's really no other way out, we're surrounded. And if there's proof left that we've been thriving here, they'll think twice before going to search for us in the forest. If we get caught on purpose, maybe there's a little chance that they won't kill us on sight. Possibly interrogate us". Mari had explained.

Asuka seemed uncertain, she shook her head then scratched her hair." No one else has any ideas. It's worth a shot". Then everyone had tensed as the screen door was bust open, glass shattered across the floor. 3 Wille shoulders, armored and coated in dark blue and black camo had entered the room, along with a stern-looking Retsuko, older and shorter hair, and the small assistant Shinji had met before, Sakura. His friend's younger sister. 

All 4 pilots looked in shock, except Rin who blankly stared at the threat." Found em", Sakura reported into a wocky tocky she was holding. The 3 soldiers stepped forward, approaching the pilots aggressively.

" handcuff them", Retsuko spoke, her tone is firm. One of the soldiers had grabbed Asuka and threw her furiously against the wall. Same for the other pilots. These weren't regular handcuffs either. They were made of steel, and it appeared if you'd try to break loose, you'd be shocked. They were led two by two by one, Asuka was being guarded alone, outside and brought into the Wunder, which had been improved with a tall staircase leading into the entrance. Shinji hesitated until the soldier had prodded his body with the tip of his rifle. Shinji and Kaworu met eyes for a heartbeat." I've never seen Kaworu's eyes so red. How frightening. I'd hate to be on his bad side". 

After entering the Wunder, they walked down long hallways. Retsuko and Sakura weren't located behind them anymore. Asuka sent Shinji a glance, her eyes read, ' they're probably searching the shelter '. Shinji sighed in response. The lights in the hallways started getting brighter, which irritated Shinji's eyes, brought him back to horrible memories of hospital lights. He looked at Kaworu again, he appeared to feel the same way. He looked shocked, started blinking his eyes over and over again." What trauma have you been through?"

Shinji's thoughts were blurred when a wide door had opened, light almost blinded him. Everyone had entered the room, it was a tall big white room with hospital resembling lights, making Shinji and possibly Kaworu more anxious. There were also two black speakers located in the corners of the room. Two soldiers had left while one stayed, and then a pink-haired girl and black haired boy Kaworu had recognized opened the door, followed by Misato." Where were they found?" Misato asked, assuming one of them would answer. She glared at Shinji, then Asuka and Mari. Her eyes went past Rin, and her eyes stopped at Kaworu and they glimmered in curiosity.

" They were found in No. 04. Any other reports will be claimed by Retsuko and Sakura", the pink-haired woman spoke. Misato hummed.

Kaworu returned her stare with guarded narrowed eyes. She slightly smiled but it changed to a serious frown. Rather then a ' who are you ' to Kaworu, she asked." Who is this?" Shinji, Asuka, and Mari looked at Kaworu. The pink-haired girl narrowed her eyes at Kaworu." Kaworu Nagisa. The 5th child, and pilot of Mark 06". Kaworu slightly jumped, Shinji could tell his muscles were tense." But for what reason? Does Kaworu know the pink-haired girl by any chance?" 

It appears that way. Kaworu's grinding his teeth. Like there's information he's hoping the pink-haired lady will not spill. He opens his mouth but shuts it. Sweat forms on his pale skin. Shinji's never seen Kaworu so nervous and anxious." He'll have to be dispatched of too, there's nothing that can be helped. Thank you for the information Midori"." Midori". Shinji memorized the name.

The black-haired boy finally spoke." It's Sakura. She's sent me a report. It's best she speaks to you in private about it". Misato nodded her head, stepped forward. Her heels clicked on the marble floor." All of you...all of you will be sent to separate dorms to share until then. When enough research and background history is collected, you'll be terminated." Misato scanned the pilots. Shinji gulped when Misato's cold eyes were on him."Also, you can make my job easier by not attempting to escape. We have cameras everywhere, hidden too... and they're always on and observed. We have lock pads with passcodes and face scan authorizations...anything you try will be declined. If you're caught outside your dorm you'll meet your demise on first sight. You'll be fed every 6 hours, and your dorm has access to a bathroom".

" Any questions?" Midori asked. Everyone was silent, Shinji sheepishly looked at his feet." So we're prisoners"." I didn't think so".

" Midori and Hideki", The two younger adults looked at Misato." Lead them to their respective dorms...oh and give them some comfortable clothes to wear". 

Misato left the room, going out the door on the left. The soldier pointed his gun to the right door, and the pilots took the note to progress to it. Midori and Hideki led the way to the dorm rooms. When they arrived there, Mari, Asuka, and Rin's were put into a dorm and in front of them were Kaworu and Shinji. There were both face scan authorization pad and lock pad. Hideki and Midori scanned their faces and the doors slid open after it beeped and a red light turned green. They all entered their dorms. Hideki unlocked Kaworu and Shinji's cuffs with a keycard and same for Asuka, Mari, and Rin's. Afterward, they were handed white slippers and white soft clothes. 

After the door slide close, Shinji and Kaworu instantly looked at each other." What are we going to do? Are we going to die here?" Shinji asked. His eyes look tired. 

" No Shinji", Kaworu exhaled, he unfolded his clothes and proceeded to take his suit out. Shinji faces the wall. 

" How are you so sure?" 

" You just have to believe yourself sometimes and hope for the best. You can't do this alone, and that has nothing to do with how strong you are". When Kaworu was fully dressed, Shinji looked at him. Kaworu was dressed in the white slippers, white pants, and a white t-shirt." You didn't go through all this for nothing. Just to die here. Remember your purpose". Kaworu sat down next to Shinji on the bed and rubbed his back. Shinji blushed at Kaworu.

"What?" Kaworu stammered.

"It's just strange, how we're still able to find light in such a dark place. How we could die any minute".

" But time moves slower when we're together, even if our demise was around the corner it would best to spend our last breathes together."

" How painful".

" Yes, what a pain. There's still so much I want to do and see and experience with you". Kaworu leaned into Shinji's neck, taking in his fresh scent. He smelled like toothpaste and soap. Strange. Shinji held Kaworu's head softly in his hand. Kaworu gently started plastering kisses on Shinji's neck. Shinji groaned in response." Hehe, stop Kaworu. Aren't their cameras in here?" Shinji squealed.

" Who cares". Shinji lightly pushed Kaworu off of him as soon as Kaworu had proceeded into nibbling his ear. Shinji squealed higher." Stop! Seriously!" Shinji's face grew hotter. Then, there was a knock against the door, Shinji and Kaworu unraveled from each other. Then, the door slid open and there was yet another familiar face Kaworu had recognized from anywhere. 

" Hello. Shinji and...Kaworu", a tall dark-skinned lady in her 30s has entered the room. She had long glossy black hair tied in a ponytail. Kaworu stood up. The lady and Kaworu stared at each other for a long time. Kaworu approached her slowly, then quickly stepped into her arms. They hugged tightly and close, Kaworu was buried in her chest." Do you remember me?" She asked. 

" I couldn't forget you...ever". Shinji gazed at them." Whoever this is, she must be close to Kaworu". Kaworu finally let go of her, and looked at Shinji." Do you know who this?" Kaworu asked.

" You must be Shinji? Am I correct?" The lady asked looking at Shinji. 

" That's me". Shinji awkwardly smiled.

" Nice to meet you. I'm Sumire. Sumire Nagara".

" She used to be my mentor. She helped me learn most about human culture and traditions. But..". Kaworu stopped." You're on Wille's side".

" Ugh. I hoped we wouldn't have to come to this".

" But there's no avoiding it, you're on our enemies side. What decisions you make are up to you, and the same for us".

" If something bad happens, just know that I apologize for it and I care about you deeply. I should probably go now, anyone could get ideas", Sumire said sadly before exiting the room. The door slid open and shut. Kaworu looked at Shinji.

" What this time?" Shinji asked confused.

" It's nothing, I'm just as confused as you are". Then there was silence. Shinji had changed into the white clothing he was supplied and flopped onto the bed on his back with a big huff. Actually, the room was small and had a white and silver wallpaper. It consisted of a bunk bed. Kaworu slept on the top and Shinji had already claimed the bottom. There were also two small windows that appeared stable, they were made with bulletproof glass so it would be hard to break it.

×××

Mari was proceeding down the hall with her school bag, which consisted of her school work and her plugsuit. Today was the fifth day of her training on Tabgha base with her prototype Eva along with Kaworu. She was on her way to the training area which Gendo had ordered her to go to. He had also told her to train with Kaworu, but she'd rather be alone and unbothered by him. 

As she walked past the garden room, she heard the melody of a piano and the rhythm of the beat was fast and heavy. It sounded quite impressive. She had less than 10 minutes before she'd be late for training, so she peeked through the glass windows on the door and narrowed her eyes to get a better view. It happened to be Kaworu playing the instrument, and quite professionally too. 

She began to lightly smile, she enjoyed his playing. But right then when he lifted his head and met eyes with her, till then she felt annoyed and frowned and attempted to leave." Would you at least stay a little longer?" Kaworu had called. Mari halted, she didn't make it past the door yet. She turned her head to the door and opened it but didn't enter." We'll have to go to the training area in a few more minutes. I don't want to be late".

" We'll have enough time to play", Kaworu made up an excuse.

" I won't be playing". Mari uncomfortably moved her eyes here and there across the garden room." How long have you been playing?" 

" Only 7 minutes". 

" No, I mean....how are you so good? How many years have you been playing?" 

Kaworu looked at his fingers on the keys." One year...", He whispered." I've been practicing every chance I got and I've become very skilled with my talent". 

" I wouldn't call it talent, you're just very hard-working. Anyone could play like that if they wanted to". 

" Won't you just try and play one song with me?" Kaworu asked. 

" No. Time's running out, I'm about to head over there". Kaworu sighed and lifted from his seat. Setting the case over the piano keys and strolling over towards the door. Mari and Kaworu continued down the hallway together.


	18. Chapter 18

Shinji had surprisingly slept peacefully in his new and probably permanent bed. He faintly heard the movements above him, assuming it was Kaworu stirring for the day. Kaworu had eventually climbed down his bunk and Shinji could feel Kaworu's fingers combing through his hair. Shinji attempted to pretend to be asleep but Kaworu had eventually noticed. 

" Sumire will be bringing us breakfast in the next hour", Kaworu moved his hand down Shinji's cheek. Shinji opened his eyes slowly.

" Breakfast?" Shinji asked." At least we're still being fed". Kaworu tilted his head in curiosity. 

" Come on Shinji, wake up", Kaworu slapped his cheek lightly. Shinji still appeared drowsy." It won't be long until she comes. Earlier she had arrived with good news". Shinji rose up from his sleep and yawned. Kaworu greeted him with a light nuzzle on the nose and Shinji smiled. Kaworu slightly coughed. 

" Good morning". 

" Morning. Sumire told me they'll be running assessments for us".

"Assessments? What about them?" 

" They'll be running some tests...maybe drugs and maybe they'll ask more questions...Sumire was very hesitant about telling me everything". Shinji looked at his hands which were set neatly on his laps. Kaworu could sense something was wrong.

" That's...so scary. I feel uncomfortable".

" You'll be fine. Sumire said they won't do anything too severe to us. It would be wise to believe her". Kaworu lifted Shinji's head up gently with his hand.

" I don't know, it sounds overwhelming. Needles being poked into me, hands prodding my body, and that same white ceiling I experience almost every time is scary. In the end, I don't know anything!" " I feel I'm gonna die here". 

" Don't weep Shinji. I told you you'll be fine, we'll get through this together, Rin, Mari, and Asuka. We've gotten this far so don't lose hope". 

" I don't think I have any more hope", Shinji covered his eyes, tears were escaping." Hope hurts". 

" No no please don't cry". Kaworu held Shinji's small thin body." I promise...", Kaworu hesitated. He wasn't sure he'd be able to keep this promise." I promise you that they won't hurt you, and it won't be scary...just close your eyes, try to think about nice memories we did together....block out the world. It'll be over soon". 

" F-fine", Shinji grunted.

" Good", Kaworu softly smiled. Soon enough there were footsteps that they both could hear down the hallway, whether it was for them or not, the thought was suspenseful. Sumire had entered the room and they both sighed in relief. She appeared to be a nice mood, two bento boxes were held in her hand. Kaworu coughed. 

" Good morning Sumire", Shinji spoke gently.

" Good morning Shinji. How are you feeling".

" Stressed...but hungry too", Shinji laughed nervously. Sumire giggled and handed them their bento. They instantly had started eating. 

" I prepared them myself. I don't exactly trust my acquaintances fixing your food", Sumire said. 

" It's good. I haven't had a real meal in a while", Shinji smiled awkwardly." This lady is so nice. I feel embarrassed!" Sumire gazed at him worriedly. Kaworu ate slowly and quietly, he appeared in his own world.

" I've gotten more information on the test", Sumire sighed, there was a paper in her hand. Kaworu stared at her, very stiff almost inhuman. Sumire handed Kaworu the paper first, he was silent." They'll only be running simple tests. Like if your ill, have a disease, broken or fractured bones, sores, bruises, or cuts. Just easy things, they'll also be putting the DSS chokers on you after it appears the past one had gotten off Shinji".

" I helped him with it. Destroyed it", Kaworu held back his cough.

" Are you alright Kaworu? I'm very worried you've been hacking and coughing a lot", Sumire explained.

" Just a cold, I've had it for a while", Kaworu shrugged and took a bite out of his food." For a while...".

" For a while", Sumire mocked." I'm looking forward to seeing your test results Kaworu. Hope you get better. If you need anything, there's a phone near the bottom bunk on the left". Sumire left afterward. 

" This feels more like a hotel than a prison", Shinji thought out loud.

" Sumire's just very kind and generous. She's making things easier for us. If it was anyone else they would've fed us slop or spit in our food". Shinji nodded in agreement." Are you wondering how we'll escape?" Kaworu whispered quiet enough the cameras couldn't track anything. 

Shinji understood what he was doing."....yeah". 

" It's probably unlikely, but maybe Sumire could help us".

" You'd think she'd actually turn on Wille?" Shinji took a bite of his food.

" I'm not sure what she'd do for us, specifically me. If she still cares about me that much like she used to or not".

" Before we can even plan anything we should contact Asuka and the others". 

" Great idea. Maybe during the assessments or afterward we'll have a short period of time to talk to them".

" But we don't exactly know how we'll escape". 

" That's okay, the girls are probably coming up with something right now too". Kaworu coughed into his arm. Shinji had set his bento box down on the floor, halfway done. 

Suddenly, there was a loud thud, and large bump, the ship had collided with someone. The impact caused Shinji to slide hard next to Kaworu who dropped his bento. The other bento box slid against a wall and spilled. Afterward, they had landed and there was an awkward silence. Shinji regained consciousness." I didn't realize we were airborne"." Sorry", he uttered to Kaworu who was still staring at his spilled bento. Kaworu sighed. 

" I don't mind that much, I didn't have the appetite". Kaworu had got up, went to the bathroom to grab a tissue, and cleaned him and Shinji's mess up. While Kaworu was still getting the remaining pieces up, Shinji looked in shock out the window. Kaworu turned." What's the matter?"

" We're in another forest....but it looks like a headquarters". Kaworu padded over and looked out the window as well.

" You're correct. I think this is where we'll be taking our tests". Shinji gulped." Just remember what I told you Shinji"." I'll try to stay strong".

Kaworu and Shinji sat back down. Seconds later before they could erupt a conversation about escaping, someone had slid the door open and an older looking Maya had appeared. Behind her of course were three guards, and the black-haired man Hideki." Nagisa and Ikari, come with me", she had commanded. 

Kaworu and Shinji had obediently risen from the bed, were handcuffed by one of the soldiers, and were prodded out the room with guns. When exiting their room, Asuka, Rin, and Mari were all located in the same hallway, heading to the exit of the Wunder. Shinji and Kaworu followed behind. Once again Kaworu was on ease. At the end of the hallway and a few more turns, Maya and the other group were greeted by Sakura, Retsuko, and Misato.

" Take them down Hall D-4, D-5 is under maintenance", Retsuko had spoken. Maya nodded in agreement and she made a sharp right. The two groups traced behind her. Shinji was capable of getting close to Asuka this time." What's the plan", he had murmured silently. Asuka kept looking straight.

" There's not enough time to explain", she answered in a short whisper." Keep your mouth shut unless you want more trouble!" 

" Silence!" Went a guard and jabbed Asuka in the back with his rifle. She groaned in response. Shinji could tell she was ready to pounce on the guard.

They proceeded down the staircase from the Wunder, they were in a small warehouse now, with other vehicles like a Jeep and large long black van logoed with Wille. Other Wille members and soldiers have gathered around, some discussing paperwork and documents and others examining the rogue pilots. 

Shinji gazed at his surroundings, they were also located in an unfamiliar giant rainforest with tall radio towers and telephone poles. Surprisingly there was also a small section of the forest where there were construction workers and large blueprints on a wall, looked like an Eva. Kaji and Makoto and an unfamiliar bald man were typing something on tablets, appeared to be some type of coding. In the area near it was a prototype of what seemed to be a new Eva. It was confusing for Shinji." If they don't want us to pilot anymore Evas then why make more". 

Maya had led the group to a large tall white building, very modern looking like one of Nerv's shelters. Shinji looked in awe of how big the building actually was. They were detoured to separate rooms, once more. Except for this time, it felt like a solution. Shinji was put into his own room, away from Kaworu. 

His anxiety had gotten worse, there was no way he could stay sane now. The guard closed the door behind him and locked it, there was no face identification or codes on these doors. They were manual for some reason. Although Shinji was accompanied by a small cold bed with one single sheet and a camera in the corner of the room. Shinji sat down on the bed uncomfortably and stared at the ceiling. 

ྉྉྉ

Kaworu was the last pilot to be escorted to his new room. Maya and Hideki were behind him, the other guards had disbanded to their break." Cute ain't he?" Hideki sneered. Maya narrowed his eyes at him. 

" Quit messing around", she scorned." The day after tomorrow you won't have to worry about him anymore". Kaworu pretended not to listen. They were progressing to the door at the end of the hallway which Kaworu assumed belonged to him." Don't mind him. He's a perv". Kaworu sighed distressfully. 

Kaworu was unlocked from his cuffs and released to his new room. He could've sworn Hideki gave him a mischievous look before the door closed. Not worrying about it, he sat on the bed and dozed off.

×××

When they had arrived they were greeted by Sumire surprisingly." Good morning...Kaworu and Mari. Hideki and Midori are both absent today so I'll be filling in for them. Are you prepared for this morning's sync test?" 

" When will we do something a little more interesting?" Mari asked in a whiny tone. 

" Um...", Sumire looked at a sheet of paper on a clipboard she was holding and scanned it." Probably soon. The sync tests are only to verify how compatible you'll be with your evas. Once you'll be capable of keeping a good streak we'll move on with combat training". 

" Great", Kaworu commented.

" Mhm. So let's get started". Sumire, Kaworu, and Mari had entered the training area. They sent to their separate rooms to change and then fully prepared to go into their test plugs.

" Good luck", Kaworu noted to Mari. Mari wasn't paying attention for a second she gazed at him.

" Whatever", Mari rolled her eyes. They were inserted into their plugs and afterward Sumire started writing notes on a sticky note.

" I'm making you guys deeper alright?" Sumire said through the monitor. Kaworu and Mari said okay. After they were submerged for a few minutes, Mari had suddenly started singing, a sweet melody too. Kaworu peeped at Mari for a few seconds. " She has a beautiful voice". As soon as Mari had noticed Kaworu's eyes were on her she opened them too and they made contact.

" You have a pleasant voice. How long have you been singing?" Kaworu asked. 

" Since forever. It soothes me to sing...and it helps me concentrate easier". 

" What type of classes did you take in Britain? Just a little curious how school was like out there". 

" Photography and ceramics. But I also like archery. Nothing unusual". Kaworu smiled." What?" 

" It sounds fun out there". Kaworu closed his eyes to concentrate again.

" Yeah it's fun but it can be a bore after a while. But there's plenty of things to experience". 

" Keep conversations to a minimum, you two are supposed to be focusing on synchronization", Sumire had spoken through the monitor. 

" Do you have pictures?" Kaworu whispered. Mari nodded.

" Sure. You can see a few I took myself". 

" You guys did well. The test is over", Sumire had said. Afterward, Kaworu and Mari had exited their plugs and changed back into their normal uniforms. Mari had dug into her brown leather schoolbag after.

" The pictures are in here, wait a sec", Mari said. Afterward, she pulled three photos out, they looked stunning even from afar. One picture was the scenery of a creek, another a city, and a small picture taken of some pastries. Kaworu smiled.

" They look professional", Kaworu remarked. 

" Oh please", Mari sighed. Mari and Kaworu had exited the training area." I don't think they're that great". Mari had nervously laughed. 

×××

The door had opened again and Kaworu met eyes with 2 unfamiliar faces. They handcuffed him and nudged him out of the room.


	19. Chapter 19

They led him down a long hallway. He felt like it could go on for ages. At the moment he was ignoring everything around him. Like he couldn't make sense of anything anymore. He looked sadly at the cuffs around his wrists, they were similar to the DSS choker in some way. Other Wille workers had rushed past, busy about their new tasks. 

Soon enough Kaworu had been led to another unusual room, it appeared to be a waiting room. He looked to his side and all worries had disappeared. Mari, Asuka, Rin, and Shinji were all seated in the corner, they appeared restless but now relieved. Kaworu was commanded to take a seat, so he took one next to Shinji. After the guards left the tension in the atmosphere was gone." They'll be thinking about getting rid of us the day after tomorrow", Kaworu whispered. Mari nodded.

" I've already heard. We've got to decide what we'll do and quick ", Mari uttered. She looked disappointedly at the wall. Shinji kept quiet as he felt like any speeches from himself would be unhelpful or annoying.

" I say we use Sumire against Kaworu", Asuka blurted.

" There has to be some other way than that", Shinji couldn't help his mouth." That's absurd!" 

" It's alright", Kaworu gestured for Shinji to settle down." Either way, I know that Sumire is going to have to turn against Wille. Whether she likes it or not. Although, instead of tricking her we should try to convince her at least". Everyone nodded in agreement. 

" That's just a bit of it, but there has to be some way we can sneak off from those pesky guards without being noticed by the cameras", Mari said rubbing her chin.

" It's risky but we should give it our all at once. The information about us may be more important to Wille then our lives, which is why they didn't shoot us when they came in contact. While we're being escorted in or out of our dorms we should try fleeing from the guards and escaping", Shinji explained. 

" Wow, something actually useful from you. I'm impressed", Asuka sneered. Shinji groaned." Anyway, if we do happen to get a few yards away, where would we go?" 

" Hmm?" Shinji thought for a few seconds until Rin spoke with her soft voice. 

" Even if a few of us had gotten away, there might still be time to free the others who haven't". 

" We'd need a code or someone's face to open those doors...so it would be smart to use one of the staff", Mari said.

" I agree", Kaworu stated. 

" Like...take someone hostage?" Asuka asked.

" Just for a while". Mari answered uncertainly." Whether we kill em or not depends if they pick a fight". 

" Glad that's solved. How will we know if the ship's landed or not?" Shinji asked. 

" Great question. We'd need a few people to steer the ship since the ship's piloting mechanism only works with a team. Luckily for all of you, I learned quickly how to pilot a few positions, but then again we'd have to use at least two of the pilots if we're in mid-air". 

" Which I'm assuming is a big problem".

" Yes, we'd have to time this right for the sake of all our lives". 

" If anyone...myself or Kaworu should be the one to initiate this plan. One of us can catch the guards while they're in the elevator. There's a camera in each elevator but it would already be enough time to assault them". 

" What if it doesn't work?" Shinji asked worriedly. 

" We have to cross our fingers and hope it doesn't!" 

Suddenly the door from the lab opened instantly and the kind gentle woman exited." Good morning everyone!" She exclaimed. " Right, it's still morning. I had lost track of time"." Today we'll be running a few tests on everyone. It's fine if everyone is nervous but I promise you it won't be anything too extreme". Sumire smiled, but everyone but Kaworu believed nothing would be fine." If that's alright, I'd like to see Shinji first"." Curses! No, it's not alright!" 

Shinji got up, already trembling with anxiety and fear after Kaworu nudged him. Kaworu blinked at him slowly. Shinji could understand that Kaworu was saying it would be fine and to trust him, Shinji blinked back and after he was escorted out the small waiting room. The door closed and the conversation continued. 

" I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit nervous", Kaworu confessed.

" We all are, you're not special", Asuka huffed. 

" That's not the point. I'm an angel ". Asuka and Mari's mouth dropped. 

" Excuse me!" Asuka shouted. 

" Shhh! Princess!" Mari hissed at her. 

" We've been together for this long and you tell us now? We trusted you". Asuka grunted. 

" It's not like that. I was afraid you wouldn't be able to trust me if I told you the truth. Which is why I lied. So please...let me explain myself. It's important". Mari and Asuka shot each other glances and Asuka sighed in exhaustion." I'm the last angel, which means if I die...another impact will start and the world might end". 

" How are you so sure?" Asuka asked. 

" It's a very long story but I'll try my best to paraphrase. Long ago Angels had been here before Lilins and they're returning to claim their land back. But since Lilins have populated over time that was difficult so if they couldn't have what was rightfully theirs back, they would cause impacts. But these impacts were only caused by a few Angels including myself. So if my core is broken, it would most likely cause another impact."

" Since you're an Angel doesn't it mean you have powers like the others?" Asuka asked.

" I possibly do but...I don't exactly know how to access them", Kaworu spoke. 

" I'm assuming you have an A.T field at least", Mari said." By the way, since Sumire is going to be running assessments on us, I'm sure she wouldn't reveal your secret". 

The door had opened again, Shinji entered the waiting room." Someone will arrive and escort you back onto the ship, sit tight". Sumire patted Shinji's shoulder gently. Shinji still felt on edge and half-heartedly nodded. He took his seat back next to Kaworu. The door closed.

" Don't you have something to tell him?" Asuka grunted. Shinji gazed at Kaworu worriedly.

" I know we've been through a lot but I still haven't been honest with you. I'm an...angel". Shinji let out a shaky breath." I hope this doesn't change our relationship. The door opened again and Shinji almost jumped out of his seat." I'd like to see Asuka, Mari, and Rei", Sumire spoke. All 3 girls had got out of their seat, Rei had hesitated at first. They all left the room, and it was actually quiet without everyone's presence.

" Why didn't you tell me sooner? I'm a bit worried now. What if Wille finds out?" Shinji whined. 

" Being an angel is a burden for me, which is why I decided to keep it to myself. I have ideas about what would happen to me if Wille found out. I'm sure Sumire would be able to help me at least". Kaworu shivered in his cuffs." But because of this burden, I can hardly fall asleep because the reality is too difficult to handle. I always feel scared. Scared I can't find my own happiness. I act like I don't care but deep inside it hurts. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I feel like I'm losing myself again. I am disgusting." Kaworu covered his eyes." And then I keep thinking about you. You're my lover and my best friend. I found them. I found you. A person that truly loves you and will never let you go no matter how hard the situation is. How beautiful it is to find someone who only wishes for your company. The sad part about it is that I never deserved you from the start...but I keep trying to come back". 

" Hey, be easy on yourself. We've still got time to spare." Shinji put his hand on Kaworu's head and rubbed it softly." I didn't understand the last part. You keep trying to come back? What's that about?" Shinji continued to stroke Kaworu's head.

" You shouldn't worry about it Shinji. This is the wrong time to talk about all of this. I'll tell you when I'm ready. No lies to hide the truth behind anymore". Shinji closed his eyes to enjoy this quietness. 

" Good, because I'll be your peace. You've had enough pain. And if you truly hate your burden, you may run away as well". 

Eventually, Mari, Asuka, and Rei had returned and all that was left was Kaworu. It was a bit weird Shinji and himself were taking tests alone. Shinji and the 3 girls didn't tell Kaworu what tests they had gone through so he was a bit anxious. Sumire held his shoulder as he entered the bright small lab. There were many computers and desks, and more computers that didn't even look like computers. Kaworu stared at jars filled with odd-looking materials and liquids. Like what appeared to be someone's finger marinating in an orange gooey liquid. This lab gave him the heebie-jeebies, he shivered uncomfortably. Sumire led him to a small gray bed with white sheets placed over them. He hesitated but took a seat. Next to them was a mirror, but Kaworu's seen this insignificant mirror in movies and TV shows on the television. These mirrors were mostly used when a detective or policeman was interrogating the suspect or victim. There was another side where everyone could see into the lab, it just appeared like a normal mirror. 

Sumire had run small diagnostics on him after uncuffing him. Checked his temperature with a thermometer and put her hand on his forehead. It was warm. The warmth either from the illness he's had for at least two weeks now or Sumire's comforting body heat." I knew you had something. You're burning hot. Which is unusual, you should be immune most illnesses", Sumire told him in his ear. Kaworu couldn't understand what it meant, but he knew from the start that he had something severe and it would eventually affect him." Hey Kaworu, are you listening?" I feel light-headed". Sumire checked his heartbeat with her stethoscope. His heart pace was quickening every second. Kaworu coughed. His chest was indeed in pain as a liquid, warm, and sticky were on his hands. He opened his eyes, and this shade of red was very familiar." It's getting rather hard to breathe". 

" Lay back. I'll get you cleaned up and something to drink", Sumire gently laid him back." How are feeling?" Kaworu was breathless, he could hardly speak." I...my chest... it's so tight". Sumire rushed to the sink and poured him a glass of water. She came back and sat him up a little so he could drink." You have a chest infection, and it looks like you had it for a while". 

" My friends...they've been worrying me...about it. I didn't think much of it...and didn't want to slow anyone down. So I pretended like it was a nothing". 

" Shhh... don't say anything. You'll need to rest. You're in no condition to speak. I'll be sending you back to your dorm on the ship right away. Here, this is an ibuprofen pill, it'll relieve the pain in your chest". Kaworu took it obediently and gulped down the water. Kaworu closed his eyes for a while." You might have to take another test tomorrow, but I'll see what I can do". 

Sumire propped Kaworu up more." Come on. Let's get you back". Kaworu inhaled sharply as he has gotten onto his feet. This pain in his chest was new and even more irritating at that. And he hated to be pitied. Kaworu was handcuffed despite the generosity and kindness Sumire had shown him. They exited the lab, Shinji and everyone else looked at him worriedly. This feeling felt the worst." Kaworu's very sick. I'll be taking him back to his dorm for now", Sumire assured everyone. Shinji relaxed back into his seat.

After Sumire had exited, the guards came back in and of course, everyone quickly got up from their seats and obediently left with them.

It felt like time had passed by very slowly in the ship. Shinji still had his Walkman surprisingly, he wondered why it was never confiscated in the first place. Above him was Kaworu, who was resting peacefully. He had arrived sooner after him and Kaworu had refused to go to sleep, but eventually did thanks to Shinji lecturing him. Shinji stared at the ceiling of the bunk blankly. Eventually, the track transferred to another, and Shinji rewinded it since it reminded him of some things that happened in the past. Good things and bad things. The song reminded him of the balance between life and death." I might be lying but, being alone like this, listening to music in my world, is kinda nice. It's better this way. And I'm worried about Kaworu. I don't know what disease he has, but I hope he gets better soon...and it isn't contagious. And maybe...just maybe somehow he'd be well enough to continue with the plan so we don't all die tomorrow. And because I don't talk much people think I don't have anything to say. Like I'm stupid or slow or... something. But I do have lots of things to say. I just don't say it because I'm too afraid to".


	20. Chapter 20

Track 26, track 27, track 28...Shinji hadn't gotten good rest last night. He's been anxious since yesterday ever since that checkup not only that, but he's been worried about Kaworu as well. The only peace he could find in the world is Kaworu's voice and his Walkman. Earlier Kaworu had refused to sleep because he was afraid if he shut his eyes he wouldn't open them again, so Kaworu had slept with Shinji at the bottom bunk. Shinji turned to his side to look at Kaworu who was sleeping peacefully next to him. In this view, Kaworu appeared so fascinating. It was only accurate for an angel anyway. But at this moment, Shinji still couldn't believe it, and now whenever he felt agitated around Kaworu he would slap himself silly because he wasn't used to knowing that a monster...no an alien....a living organism that was capable of ending the whole human race was sleeping like a child right next to him.

Shinji cuffed Kaworu's cheek gently, for the past few days, this is how close he was able to get to Kaworu ever since they used to sleep together. Shinji's recalling a time where Kaworu was crying in his sleep, that time Shinji offered for his presence or when they were stuck in the rain and had to resort to the Nerv shelter. Even that time when they had gotten passionate in their room. 

Suddenly, Sumire had entered the room, Shinji unplugged his ears." Don't worry, I'm just here to bring you some food", Sumire smiled. Shinji relaxed. He sat up, Kaworu still resting by his side.

" Uh...okay. Thank you", Shinji dipped his head respectfully. Sumire handed Shinji an egg sandwich in a package. Shinji gazed at it, a few questions he wanted to ask but Sumire took a hint.

" I couldn't sneak you any bento boxes, so I'll only be capable of bringing small snacks", Sumire lightly laughed. Then her expression changed to something very dispirited." Is Kaworu doing alright?"

" He's doing fine. I made sure he stays hydrated". Sumire exhaled roughly, she must've been more relieved then Shinji.

" I'm so grateful. His health means a lot to me...you know since he's an angel and all I've been stressing lately that something would happen". Shinji didn't exactly know how to respond. He didn't want to talk about Kaworu's burden with Sumire, he felt uncomfortable about it. Sumire held a clipboard and pen in her hands. Sumire looked at him confused at first, but then shook her head and smiled brightly." Could you wake him up to eat please?" 

" Sure", Shinji lightly shook Kaworu. He opened his eyes quickly and turned to look at Sumire.

" Good morning Kaworu. How are you feeling? Is your chest getting better?" Sumire asked. Her big smile calmed Kaworu. 

" I...I feel disoriented", Kaworu croaked." But much better than yesterday".

" Great. Here". Sumire reached into her coat pocket and pulled out an egg sandwich. She handed it to Kaworu who turned his face in disgust. 

" I'm not really hungry", he told her, attempting not to sound rude." My stomach is kinda turning". Shinji looked at, stuffing the egg sandwich in his mouth. 

Sumire nodded." Understood". She then proceeded to give Kaworu grape flavored water. Kaworu gazed at it for a while then took it finally. Relieved, Sumire smiled and left. When she was gone, Kaworu looked very tired, he gestured the flavored water bottle to Shinji who was still enjoying his snack.

" Want it?" He asked, not facing Shinji. At first, Shinji looked at Kaworu sideways." Kaworu is sure acting strange". 

" But I thought you wanted it", Shinji said a mouth full. Kaworu finally looked at him and giggled. Shinji swallowed his food." What?" 

" Nothing", Kaworu shook his head and half-heartedly smiled. Shinji had finished his food but just dropped the wrapper on the floor. Kaworu set the water bottle on the floor as well and tucked himself back into bed. A few minutes later, Sumire had returned and stated Kaworu needed another checkup so Shinji was left alone. 

" It'll be quick so you don't have to worry about a thing", Sumire told Kaworu who didn't appear like he was listening, just in pain.

" What's gonna happen to me?" Kaworu asked he wasn't very sure about this test. Sumire didn't say anything, sweat began building at her temple. Kaworu narrowed his eyes at her, his trust for her beginning to fade." They're gonna kill me? Aren't they? It's always been this way so I'm not surprised this time", he uttered. Every word he rolled off his tongue had stabbed Sumire like a pitchfork on fire." You could've at least let me say goodbye to my beloved". Sumire gave up. She got in front of him, eyes watering. They were frozen in the hallway. 

" Look, I'm sorry", Sumire shouted.

" I don't accept your apology. I thought you were someone that would do anything for me, but that was just a delusion. I don't know what'll happen after I enter that room and the door closes but whatever happens...goodbye...forever Sumire". There was complete silence and they continued to walk down the hallway. Sumire could feel the sorrow and resent in Kaworu's tone and she felt terrible.

When they had made it to the lab, it seemed Kaworu had accepted his fate, he didn't look at Sumire and just mindlessly scanned the room. He sat on the gray leather bed, and then his wrists and ankles were buckled down, something that didn't happen in the first test. Retsuko had soon arrived, shooting Kaworu a quick glance." I'm surprised he didn't fight", Retsuko curled her lips. Then, Retsuko noticed Sumire was very anxious." You shouldn't work Sumire, he doesn't bite". But Sumire wasn't worried about that. Retsuko had proceeded past Sumire and Kaworu to the other side of the lab. While her back was turned, Sumire quickly faced Kaworu.

" I'm gonna give you an amphetamine shot, it'll boost your energy", Sumire whispered, and pulled out the syringe of white, barely clear liquid." It's a drug so at first, you're gonna be very tingly in your muscles". She stuck the syringe in his arm secretly then put the syringe back in his pocket. Kaworu had assumed she was preparing to halt his demise. Retsuko had come back with a rolling metal stand with a computer set on top of it. It had wires and plugs rooted in it from the ceiling. 

At first, Kaworu was surprised, Retsuko had begun to unbutton his white shirt. She put these white circular patches on his chest that were attached to white wires leading to the computer. At first, there was this small shock through his body, then Kaworu realized he couldn't move any of his limbs or body. The tightness in his chest from his infection began to worsen and even so he was getting more and more anxious by the second." Good it worked", Retsuko spoke in a pleasant mood and she began typing something on to her computer. 

A red light had begun flashing in the reflection of Retsuko's eyes as her typing became more intense. Then her eyes switched to Kaworu, who began to actually figure out what real terror had felt like. Retsuko's expressions had given Kaworu intentions that this new turn out for him wasn't gonna be good. Accepting the consequences and conclusion to what happens every time he jumps time loops, he closed his eyes as Retsuko grew closer. At first, he felt like his life had already flashed between the time he had first encountered Shinji, someone that had made him feel human, kept dying repeatedly for the sake of his happiness. Everything was black and muted, then he remembers the faint sound of Sumire's voice. Quickly he opened his eyes. He noticed those patches that had been stuck to his skin were gone, Retsuko laid across the room, struggling to get up. At first, he had questions with what had happened while he was blacked out for a bit, but it must wait. 

" Kaworu you must go now! You are in danger!-", Sumire's voice was surfaced and cut off by a long bang, a sound that was very familiar to Kaworu he felt he was hearing things. Suddenly, the red liquid had begun to erupt from her mouth. There was another bang, Kaworu had looked away, he heard Sumire's body fall to the floor. The tangy scent had started to fill the lab despite the chemicals around. 

Thinking spontaneously he didn't want to end up like Sumire. After he was released from those wires, it was either the powerful energy from the drug or the urge to keep living to see Shinji's smile again, Kaworu had broke from his restraints. Feeling guilty, he had quickly dragged Sumire's still warm but dead body to the lab entrance and put her bloody hand up to the scanner. Kaworu and fled successfully this time, Retsuko had failed to pull the trigger on him.

Running through the halls mindlessly, every mixture of motion that Kaworu had felt had kicked in. He got sweaty and hot, adrenaline running through his veins and muscles, tears rolling down his cheeks. At first, he despised these painful emotions but it reminded him he was still human in some ways.

A loud alarm had started to fill the hallways with red flashing lights. Kaworu could hear the sounds of the Wille soldiers stomping down the hall, he had waited at the corner. When they finally arrived, he took one of them by surprise. Kaworu simply used him as a shield, the man was shot to death. Stained by nothing but red, he took the soldier's gun and repeatedly shot the other two even when they were completely lifeless on the, now red, marble floor. At this point, Kaworu had realized that his human emotions had shown him his savage side he didn't know ever he had. He would be lying if he said he didn't like this feeling. This feeling of taking a human's life away. He felt like a mere god, and he used this motivation to continue his purge from his negative feelings. 

Still hitting random lefts and rights, he stumbled across another room with soldiers and killed them regardless. Out of curiosity, he entered the room. It was pitch black but brightened by teal cylinder containers with guns, plugsuits, and more weapons. Kaworu had proceeded and broke the glass from the container, he immediately had stripped dressing in a black and red plugsuit. He took a large rifle and strapped it over him, exiting the room in a flash. He could hear more gunshots down the hall, and he realized there was a slim chance Asuka was still alive. 

When he had aimed accurately, he shot one of the soldiers in the back of the head, assisting Asuka as she struggled to fight them off. Aiming had begun more difficult when they were moving around so quickly. Kaworu had mistakingly shot one of them in the back, he collapsed to the floor in seconds and Asuka had finished the last one off with a sharp knee in the neck. There were now bodies and blood scattered across the pearly whites walls and floor. Kaworu made his way over to her. Asuka's hair was a bit mangled and blood had uncontrollably flowed down her nose." Are you-", Kaworu had tried to speak. 

" I don't need pity from you! Just unhandcuff me...", Asuka growled, still refusing to wipe the scarlet that dripped down her chin. Kaworu reached into the back pocket of one of the soldiers and swiped the card over Asuka's handcuffs. When the cuffs had fallen to the floor, she instantly had reached for a gun and shot Kaworu a quick glance. There was concern in his expression." What?"

" Are you still going to keep your promise?" Kaworu asked. Asuka slightly smiled and nodded her head.

" Stay safe. See you later", she spoke quietly and left down the other direction of the hallway. Kaworu watched as she disappeared. He should probably get going to Rei and Shinji, he assumed Asuka was already on her way to get Mari. It was proven to be a difficult job though, this ship was like a maze, Misato or Retsuko would've known this place from the back of their head. He soon came across Rin, surrounded by more soldiers. Disappointed, he swiftly fired the rifle at the troopers, most of the bullets had been swallowed by their armor. When they noticed Kaworu, they all aimed their guns at him. Kaworu signaled for Rin to come forward. He began backing up, the red dots from the guns following his exact movements, without the soldiers noticing Rin had run forward. She slightly cringed in fear when gunfire went off, but a shiny barrier had protected her. She turned in awe, almost blinded. The bullets were capable of reaching her, she looked at Kaworu." This is the A.T Field. The angel's highest defense mechanism. Nothing may intrude this barrier, not even light itself". The bullets that had hit the barrier were twisted and crushed on the ground, Kaworu grabbed Rin's arm and they darted down the hallway. Soldiers close behind, Kaworu struggling to keep his barrier up his train of thought had loosened like a string. 

He heard Rin whimper in agony behind him, he began to run faster but Rin had started to slow him down. Tragically, they were met in a dead-end, and camped there, out of sight of the soldiers. Kaworu quickly inspected Rin's wound, she was bleeding badly, the blood wouldn't stop. She groaned in pain, holding Kaworu's wrists tightly with the strength she had left. Kaworu had gotten nervous himself, he didn't want her to die. He didn't want to lose anyone else important to him. Sumire had sacrificed herself for him. Too much blood has been spilled lately. Kaworu ripped a part of Rin's pants, and quickly tied it across her abdomen until they could get the bullet out. It didn't seem to work, she was in even more pain. Her grip on Kaworu's wrist had slackened." Am I... going to...disappear?" Rin asked her breathes slow and quiet. Very small tears had escaped her eyes. 

" Of course not", Kaworu told her, he bumped his forehead to hers affectionately. There was nothing left he could do, the damage had been done." You're just going to be asleep for a long time. And it's scary because you might not wake up again". Kaworu wiped her tears away and rubbed her head softly." Things won't be the same without you". Rin had lifted her red-stained hand slowly, caressed Kaworu's cheek, steadily she put her hand on her chest. Rin closed her eyes slowly, drifting to a peaceful sleep that'll be her last. Kaworu was happy she was able to depart in such a hushed way. With the rifle in his hands, he got up on his feet and left Rin's body. 

For a while, Kaworu had been wandering through the ship without concern. The drug had seemed to run out. His muscles were sore and he was breathless, but his love for Shinji had no boundaries, he kept going forward. Soon when his hopes were getting down, he saw Mari and Asuka trying to force Shinji into a room." I'm not leaving without him!" He shouted, echoing down the hall. Kaworu hurried over. Shinji was relieved once he saw Kaworu, but even more, mixed feelings took over him. He ran up to Kaworu and hugged him tightly." I'm so glad you're back"! Asuka and Mari noticed him too.

" At first I thought you were dead", Mari adjusted her glasses." What a relief". Mari appeared to notice something was wrong but she stayed silent and pulled Asuka to come with her. Inside the room was where Wille's air shuttles had been located, there was also a big gate there that led out the main ship, that would be their only escape since the ship was still airborne." I'm sure they want to be alone, come help me with the shuttle". Mari's voice was stern, Asuka nodded and followed her, the door shut.

" Are you okay? Is this all your blood?" Shinji caressed Kaworu's cheeks, checking for any open wounds, Kaworu blushed.

" Yes...are you okay?" Kaworu was still shaken up.

" I'm perfectly fine... where's Rin?"

" I'm...sorry Shinji. I tried to save her...". Kaworu looked at the floor shamelessly. Shinji looked saddened.

" Oh...". Shinji was lost at words, he just looked back and forth from Kaworu to some other part of the hall. Kaworu slightly stumbled, his feet were aching. Shinji held him up." A-are you sure you're okay?"

Kaworu caught his breath. Kaworu shook his head." The infection...it's eating at my core". 

" You need to rest. We should hurry to the others", Shinji grabbed Kaworu's hand and rushed towards the door. But Kaworu didn't move any further, he looked at Shinji." What...what are you doing? We have to go now!" 

Kaworu was silent for a moment." You have to go now. They need you more than me Shinji. Without you, mankind will never find peace in this depressing planet Lilin call Earth." Shinji was silent, maybe at the shock of Kaworu's statement but he was denial of this fully." I believe in you Shinji. Make the world a better place-". A swift uncalled for move to his cheek, a burning sensation. Shinji had slapped him. 

" What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Shinji had said with all his chest. Kaworu jumped at his hostility. This wasn't the shy, gentle, and timid Shinji he knew." Why are you so selfless!? I don't care about what they want! All I want is you! Only you!" Shinji began crying." I love you...a lot and I can't do this all by myself...I can't change the world without you in it. Without you, I'm better off dead too. It's just...why are you leaving such a burden on me? Such a responsibility when you know I'm still weak." He slightly laughed." I haven't grown up a bit or changed. You either". Shinji got on his tippy toes and reached up to Kaworu's level kissing him. It was short but sweet and soft." Say something, you're scaring me".

" I'm...sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." 

" Of course you didn't because you think about what'd be best for me but never ask. I accept your apology, but just promise me that you'll come back to me in one piece". Shinji hugged Kaworu tightly, Kaworu did the same. 

" I promise". Shinji unraveled himself from Kaworu and stepped towards the door." I love you".

" I love you more than anything". Shinji waved and entered the air shuttle room. The door closing had made the hall seem more empty than ever. 

✝️✝️✝️

Still upset Shinji stomped toward the black, jet-like air shuttle. Asuka and Mari had already been seated and strapped, Shinji soon joined them and prepared for liftoff.

" Guess what I got? Bam!" Asuka shouted, the compass to reach Shoreline. Surprised, Asuka looked around." Where's Kaworu?" She asked.

" He's not coming. He said he'll meet up with us later", Shinji sighed." Let's just go. I can't change his mind". Shinji buckled himself up in the backseat.

" What's the matter with him?" Asuka grunted. 

" He's most likely going to self-destruct the ship and since he's an angel he can use his A.T field to protect him", Mari spoke still pressing buttons and flipping switches on and off." He's probably trying to kill off Wille....even though there are more members located in HQ". Mari turned to look at Shinji who didn't seem like he was listening." Shinji...you have every right to worry about him, everything is going to be fine. It's probably impossible, but I think Kaworu is somewhat unstoppable". The air shuttle had begun for liftoff, and the gate had automatically opened since the shuttle was departing. Soon after, the ship was too far to see. It was endless forest beneath them, and it had gotten dark. 

" Where'd you get that crazy shit from earlier?" Asuka spat.

" You're not helping. Actually, you're the worst Princess. You're probably better off tied on the roof", Mari sneered. She was sitting back relaxing, the shuttle on autopilot mode with Shoreline's coordinates put in. They should arrive at their destination in a few days. 

" What'd you say!?" Asuka boomed." And I'm being serious, that was so unlike you back there! Hmph!" Asuka slumped back in her seat, then she looked behind herself at Shinji, fast asleep in the back." Fast asleep like the baby he still is". Asuka smiled and fixed herself to go to sleep as well." G'night four-eyes". 

" Night, your highness", Mari said while she was half-sleep, her glasses were set on her lap and her hair was loose.


	21. Chapter 21

First, it was pitch black, then his eyes were settling to his blurry vision and the faint sound of a loud obnoxious beeping noise, he heard in the background. Warm sun rays beamed into the still airborne jet, Mari and Asuka were still dozing as the jet soared along the surface of clouds. Soon, Shinji had woken fully and stretched in the back seat as he was very sore and cramped. The beeping had continued and Shinji slightly leaned to check the dashboard, what appeared to be the gas tank which was below average had kept lighting up which logically meant that there wasn't much fuel in the tank like before. 

Shinji had quickly shaken Mari's shoulder, who woke up startled and then put her glasses on." I think we've run out of fuel", Shinji told her. Their conversation had soon stirred Asuka from her sleep.

" Crap", Mari gazed at the dashboard, and she took autopilot off, she was piloting the jet now and she prepared to land it before the fuel had fully run out and caused a crash. Mari buckled her seat belt. " Make sure your seat belts are strapped in, I'm gonna land it". Shinji and Asuka had obediently secured themselves. The jet had flown underneath the clouds and below them, it had appeared to be mountains so it was difficult to land anywhere.

" Try that small clearing over there", Asuka pointed to a little valley, a bit far from the mountains. Mari nodded and had flown over towards the large patch of dead grass. The jet had safely landed and Mari had quickly turned the ignition off. Everyone had exited the jet, and stretched a bit." I'm kinda glad we got out, I needed some air", Asuka yawned. Asuka turned to look at Shinji who stared at the grass worriedly. She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, giving him a fake, but reassuring smile." If you're worried about Kaworu, I'm sure he's fine and would be worried about you if we don't get to Shoreline". 

Shinji looked at her then sighed, switching back to the ground." Well, let's get a move on, we exactly have the time to be standing around. Wille is not completely wiped out. We may have won the battle, but we surely didn't win the war and trust me, there will be a war soon", Mari grunted." War?" Asuka pulled Shinji forward by his arm, and after they had gotten guns and supplies from the jet they were off. 

Nervously, Shinji stared at the pistol in his hand, Kaworu hasn't taught him how to shoot yet, like he was supposed to. Asuka noticed his anxiousness and took the gun from him." Just leave the guns to us, I feel like you're the type to accidentally shoot yourself or shoot at someone with your eyes closed", Asuka told him. 

" What's this thing about war?" Shinji asked almost tripping over a rock." I was never informed there was gonna be a war". 

" Well, it's more like it's likely to happen since Shoreline and Wille are enemies. Most of Nervs associates are on Wille's side, but Shoreline's got a lot of lethal warriors themselves. But mostly, I think it's our fault if we actually clash, all because of our stupid plan", Mari said.

" It wasn't stupid, we got the compass-like we said we would and not everyone died right?" Asuka stated." We should be honored as pilots and Lilin, this plan was a victory". Mari nodded and smiled, continuing to follow the compass's radar. Shinji thought otherwise, the plan did seem stupid because Rin and Kaworu weren't by his side anymore, they didn't make it off the Wunder. 

The valley they were trekking through hadn't been different than the others, they had been following the compass for about 20 minutes, soon ending up on a dark grey road splattered with LCL and crooked telephone poles buried in the red dirt. Soon it began to get colder and colder, Shinji's own breathe had become visible. It was so cold whenever he inhaled, his lungs felt like they were being punctured by sharp icicles. He held his shoulders to keep himself warmer, surprisingly Mari and Asuka didn't seem bothered by it too much.

" Hey, you see that down there?" Mari asked pointing into the distance. It was very foggy so it was hard to see what caught Mari's attention, they walked a little further until it became more clear. They had managed to bump into a gas station, obviously, it was abandoned. While Shinji waited outside, Mari and Asuka had gone inside and returned with snacks and drinks." It's not much, but it's good enough until we get to Shoreline ".

" Here", Asuka grabbed a water bottle from her pile and handed it to Shinji. Shinji looked at her, then back at the ground.

" ...I'm not...thirsty", Shinji murmured. Asuka wrinkled her face in anger. Frustrated she opened the bottle and threw it at Shinji's face.

" I can't do it anymore! I can't! Why do you have to be such a coward!" Asuka pushed Shinji." Do you know what he told me!?" Shinji didn't understand, and tried to speak." Of course, you don't because you can't accept reality! You can't accept the truth! That's why Kaworu told me to look after you...", Asuka screamed." Pathetic!" Mari had suddenly grabbed Asuka and held her back.

" Stop, stop it...this isn't gonna help", Mari said." Hate is a strong word". Asuka shoved Mari off." Apologize...". Mari rolled her eyes.

" I am not gonna-".

" Apologize".

" I apologize but I'm not sorry, you deserved it". Asuka grunted." So are you just gonna stand there and cry and mope all day? Kaworu obviously wanted you to go so you can make a better person of yourself. He felt like he was holding you back and now look at you...you're just a burden, you would've been better off dead in the beginning. So what's it gonna be?" Shinji crinkled his fists in anger.

" Shut up! Just shut up! You don't know anything about me! You don't realize the pain and suffering I had to go through! I know that I should've died a long time ago, that's why I want to die now! But...but I've made it this far and I'm trying my best to change the world, s-so at least show me some respect...!" 

It was silent, Shinji's words had left Asuka speechless." Let's get out of here", Mari sighed and grabbed her snacks." And Shinji, you should at least eat something. It's going to take a while before we get to Shoreline".

" Wait, hold that thought", Asuka said and she hurried back inside the deserted market. She returned with a red book in her hand, and handed it to Shinji who looked very confused." Here, I thought you might like it. You were always reading these when were in school, although I never got the chance to read it since I don't understand Japanese fully". Shinji took the book and wiped the dust off of it. It was a book he had already finished reading, but the nostalgia had made him want to read it again.

" Thank you", Shinji told her, but Asuka didn't reply and instead shot Shinji a cold glare then gathered her snacks again. They had left the small convenient store afterward, following the compass even after they went off-road. Sooner or later, they were already walking along the shores of the blue sea. The compass had begun to start beeping, which probably meant Shoreline was close by.

" Keep a lookout for a large ship", Mari said firmly staring at the compass as it continued to ring. 

" I think it's over there", Shinji pointed into the distance of the blue sea. Quickly, Asuka had used her gunshots as a signal, and Mari and Shinji began shouting." Hey! Over here!" Filled with excitement, the ship had started to drift in their direction towards the shore." It appears to be a cruise ship. That's weird, I was expecting a sailboat or submarine".

The boat had stopped before it clashed with the shore." Come on aboard!" A woman had said from above the boat. 

" You heard her come on", Mari said entering the blue water and swimming over to the latter the woman had let down, Asuka followed and Shinji too after hesitating. They climbed up quickly and afterward were given towels by Shoreline workers. A tall lady with shoulder cut silver hair had approached them, a welcoming smile on her face. At first, Shinji believed she looked like Kaworu but then blurred the thought. She also had teal eyes and was accessorizing a seashell hairpin and pearl earrings. 

" Welcome aboard Shoreline. I'm Captain Amagi", she held out a hand for them to shake. Her sweetness seemed foreign, Shinji wasn't used to such kindness. Asuka shook her hand, then Mari and Shinji." How'd you get that? We don't even make them anymore?" Amagi had pointed to the compass Mari was holding. 

" Oh, this little thing. It's a looong story", Mari chuckled but Amagi seemed quite serious and suspicious despite her warm welcome. 

She nodded." That's fine. Kotone tell the helmsman to steer the ship around and head to headquarters", she said in a firm tone." We can talk about the compass some other time". A pink girl had clumsily made her way downstairs as Captain Amagi walked forward along with her henchmen following. It was dark now. Captain Amagi led them to a giant campfire with other people gathered around it, which Shinji felt was hazardous since the floor was made of wood. Some people were wrapped in blankets, sipping coffee, or reading books, they all seem comfortable, safe, and happy." I'll be back shortly, enjoy your stay, and if you have any questions feel free to ask staff members". Then, Captain Amagi had disappeared in the darkness. 

" Asuka?" Asuka heard faintly in the crowd of people, she whipped her head around, recognizing that voice and finally smiled when she realized who it was.

" Hikari!" Asuka shouted, not realizing she was disturbing the peace. Asuka quickly strutted over to her and wrapping her arms around her tightly." I missed you so much". It sounded like Asuka was fighting back sobs.

" It's fine Asuka, settle down some", Hikari smiled warmly. It made Asuka want to cry more." Oh dear, what happened to your eye?" Asuka touched her eye patch and snickered. It made Shinji want to laugh too, he hadn't seen Asuka act so goofy before. 

" It's a long story", she confessed and rolled her eyes. Asuka soon noticed she was able to get a better look at Hikari's appearance since they last met. Her hair was darker and braided into to pigtails which were longer, she also had an enormous bump beneath her chest." Must've gained weight after all these years. Wait!" 

Suddenly Shinji had decided to ask " Have you seen Toji? Is he okay?" A concerning look on his face. Asuka began to steam, prepared to backhand Shinji but Hikari finally responded. 

" Toji is doing well, unfortunately, he's not with me and back at headquarters. Speaking of Toji, he's going to be a father soon", Hikari sighed.

" You're pregnant!? Is it a girl or a boy!" Asuka shouted again and was hushed by an elderly woman. 

" I'm not sure what I'll be expecting yet". Suddenly, Mari had bumped into the conversation.

" Hi, I'm Mari Makinami. I'm Asuka's babysitter", Mari joked and Asuka pulled her pigtail." Ow, princess! No need to be so harsh! I was obviously kidding!" Hikari and Shinji laughed. 

" We're back", a female voice had said cheerfully. A girl with dark brown hair and glasses took a seat next to Hikari and was puzzled when she saw Asuka and the rest. 

" Kodama. Nozomi. These are my friends from a long time ago", Hikari told them." Asuka, these are my sisters". 

" I'm Asuka, that's Shinji and Mari", Asuka pointed to them. Mari and Shinji waved. Kodama was Hikari's older sister, she had dark brown hair cut to her shoulders, dark brown eyes, and black glasses. While Nozomi was the youngest, she had short brown hair parted by a pink butterfly hairpin." It's no doubt they're siblings". 

" So, what are you guys doing here?" Nozomi asked. Asuka, Mari, and Shinji all exchanged confused glances. Mari sighed. 

" We need somewhere safe to stay?" Mari blurted out, but it was more like a question, she wasn't sure what to tell them.

" It's fine if you're unsure about your situation. Believe or not, we're Shoreline members and have been working for them for 5 years", Kodama added. Hikari and Nozomi nodded in agreement. Kodama took a sip of her coffee." Some of the rooms are occupied at the moment until we get these people back to headquarters". Asuka's blue eyes glimmered in awe.

" It hasn't been that rough though!" Nozomi cheerfully said." We live on a big island and there's lots of food and things to do!" Then, it was brought to Nozomi's attention." Do you guys need clothes? Surely it's more comfortable than those white uniforms". 

" Ugh thank god, I was getting tired of these boring clothes. Oh, do you have anything flashy...preferably pink?" Mari asked enthusiastically. Nozomi chuckled.

" We have a storage room full of unused clothes and underwear, haven't been worn and they're already washed", Hikari said. Kodama got up from her seat, escorting Shinji, Asuka, and Mari to the storage room. While they were there, they chose comfy clothes for the following night. Afterward, they were kindly offered warm meals.

" So what's like on the island?" Shinji asked, stirring his chicken soup.

" I would say like Tokyo but way better. It can be peaceful but it can also be exhilarating. In my opinion, the island is very vibrant", Kodama said. 

" It's a world without those brute monsters", Nozomi murmured. 

Mari rudely yawned." I'm ready to hit the hay. Any free rooms?" 

" I'd think you'd have to ask the captain that. We've spent the last few months rescuing people around Kyoto, Osaka, and Tokyo. The ship is pretty full", Hikari answered. 

" Wait, how many people are on this ship exactly?" Asuka asked.

" Around 4000 including a quarter of Shoreline members", Hikari said softly. 

" I'd be happy to be your escort!" Nozomi beamed. 

Asuka nodded in agreement and Nozomi had taken them to the deck first. Shinji had started to get uncomfortable as they passed through the Shoreline soldiers. Most of them were sleep sitting on the floor, others were probably on watch duty. When they arrived at the deck, Captain Amagi had been stirring the ship." Captain Amagi?" Nozomi said firmly standing up straight. Amagi hummed in response, still trying to concentrate. "Are there any free rooms upstairs?"

" Officer Kaji!" Captain Amagi called. Shinji and Asuka exchanged surprised glances." Kaji!" Unfortunately, instead of the face of Ryoji, a tall man with curly dark brown hair and soft brown eyes. At first, he exchanged glances at the pilots then turned his attention to the captain.

" Yes?" His tone was stern but respective.

" Please escort them to No. 331 ". Officer Kaji had nodded and strolled over to the pilots.

" I'm Mikoto. But just call me Officer Kaji. Obviously, I'll be the one escorting you guys to your room", Mikoto glanced at Nozomi." Get back to work bason!" 

" T-that's not fair, I did my job a long time ago", Nozomi stammered, trying to convince Mikoto to let her come along. He grumbled in response as he began to lead the way upstairs. Nozomi trailing behind like a lost kitten. 

" You guys look like kids. How'd you even find our ship?" Mikoto asked, looking down at the pilots. He was only a few inches taller than Mari. 

" Oh, you mean this?" Mari took out the compass from her pocket. Since they were on the ship, the arrow was going haywire. Mikoto observed it." Also, would a kid know how to aim and shoot a rifle?" 

" Weird, we don't make those anymore". Mikoto put his arms around his head." What's with the eye-patch?" He had asked Asuka who was starting to boil. Shinji and Mari had instinctively covered their ears. 

" None of your damn business!" She barked, cheeks turning red in embarrassment. Shortly after, Nozomi mimicked them soon after. 

" Sheesh, you don't have to be so feisty". Mikoto teased more.

" For an Officer you sure are unprofessional!" 

" At least I don't look like a pirate!" 

" At least I don't look like a retard!" 

" They're really going at it", Nozomi gulped.

" That's it! Just get a room together already! I can't stand here and listen to you too argue like an old married couple! I'm really tired, it's been a long day, and my head is pounding!" Shinji shouted uncovering his ears. It was quiet after Shinji's protest and they had arrived at No. 331. Mikoto had opened it with a keycard then handed it to Asuka, who quickly snatched it. They exchanged cold stares. When they opened the door it was a dimly lit room, with a dresser, tv, closet, microwave, bathroom, and one bed. All 3 of them looked at Mikoto questionably.

" I call the bed!" Mari shouted eagerly running over the one bed and jumping on it. Mikoto started to believe they actually were kids. 

" I'm outta here", Mikoto left in disgust." Call me". Mikoto looked at Asuka who flipped him off. 

" There are futons and blankets in the closet", Nozomi told them." Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite ", she closed the room door.

" There's no way I'm sleeping on the floor! Scoot over four-eyes!" Asuka spat trying to kick Mari to scoot over. Shinji progressed to the closet, taking out the futon and blanket then making a palette on the floor. 

" Ugh, Princess, I had called it!" Mari whined obediently scooting over after being abused.

" So what? Sleeping on the floor is weird shit that Japanese people do!" Shinji narrowed his eyes at her." Racist!"

Asuka huffed and curled in the blankets. Then, Mari had randomly sniffed Asuka.

" What the hell are you doing now!?" She whipped around at Mari.

" P.U, your highness you stink. Even Pups smells better than you", Mari wasn't even trying to be funny, it was the truth. Then Asuka began making menacing choking gestures with her hands if Mari continued. Shinji then walked to the bathroom, turning on the lights and closing the door." I Call the shower after Puppy boy!" Mari shouted right after Asuka had started drifting to sleep. 

After everyone had taken their showers, it had been silent and dark. Shinji laid uncomfortably in his futon blasting his S.D.A.T player. He had constantly shifted his position so he could fall asleep easier. Once he turned around he noticed Asuka's eye peeking at him through the covers. She had startled him, be relaxed back in his spot.

" Can't sleep?" She asked. Shinji didn't say anything, still upset about earlier." Me either...I'm sorry". Shinji lifted his gaze at her." But don't get the wrong idea, I needed to say that because I do feel ashamed of my behavior, I'm sorry". Shinji quickly pinched himself, he wasn't dreaming. Asuka apologizing to him was so out of her character he couldn't believe it.

" I forgive you", he meant to say in his head, but it came out. 

" You wish Kaworu were here?" 

" Yeah, but I'm sure he would get nausea". Asuka furrowed an eyebrow." Kaworu doesn't like the ocean for some reason, and I wouldn't want him to be somewhere if he was uncomfortable". Asuka snickered quietly.

" I don't understand why I haven't noticed earlier. You too are sleeping with each other aren't you?" 

Shinji rose up at her level and looked at her bewildered. Stuttering and stammering over words, he didn't know what to tell her." It's not like that! It's none of your business anyway!" Shinji said defensively turning into a tomato. There was also this distinct feature that Shinji had. When he got defensive and embarrassed his voice would get high pitched and squeaky. 

" If it makes you feel better, I lost mine a long time ago"." It doesn't make me feel better at all"." And you know it was so obvious that you and Kaworu had lost your chastity. Mari and I just didn't say anything. But you're not a virgin anymore, so I guess I respect you". Shinji had tried so hard to muffle Asuka's words with the music but it didn't work. 

" Do we have to talk about this now?" He asked her. Asuka laughed.

" It's a good time to since we're getting along, I don't know when I'm going to pop another nerve"." I wouldn't say getting along". So Shinji sat up again." How does it feel with a guy?" 

"...weird...but it felt strangely good...", Shinji whispered blushing. Asuka held back her laugh." How was yours?" Expecting Asuka would answer some questions too. 

" crazy and it felt awesome...wonder how penetration with a guy is like". Then Shinji coward back into the covers.

" Who was on top?" 

Shinji was tired of these posturing and personal questions." K-k...kaworu...". 

" I'm more of a switch, and Mari for me".

" Good night Asuka", Shinji had said sternly, he didn't want to talk about this subject anymore.


End file.
